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What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while.
Make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong.
Focus on actions, not...
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By giving something up, w...
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Things often get harder before the...
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When we give more to ourselves, we can ask more...
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We’re not very different from other people, but those differences...
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It’s easier to change our surroundings t...
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We can’t make people change, but when we change, o...
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We should make sure the things we do to feel better don’t ...
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We manage what we...
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Once we’re ready to begin,...
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To understand how people are able to change, I must understand habits.
• Perhaps it’s understandable why it’s hard to form a habit we don’t enjoy, but why is it hard to form a habit we do enjoy?
Sometimes people acquire habits overnight, and sometimes they drop longtime habits just as abruptly. Why?
Why do some people dread and resist habits, while others ...
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Why do so many successful dieters regain their lost w...
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Why are people so often unmoved by the consequences of their habits? For instance, one-third to one-half of U.S. patients don’t take medi...
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Do the same strategies work for changing simple habits (wearing a seat belt) and for comp...
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Why is it that sometimes, though we’re very anxious—even desperate—to cha...
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Do the same habit-formation strategies apply equally well to everyone?
Certain situations seem to make it easier to form habits. Which ones, and why?
In other words, habits eliminate the need for self-control.
With habits, we conserve our self-control. Because
I concluded that the real key to habits is decision making—or, more accurately, the lack of decision making.
Habits make change possible by freeing us from decision making and from using self-control.
1. Eat and drink more healthfully (give up sugar, eat more vegetables, drink less alcohol)
2. Exercise regularly
3. Save, spend, and earn wisely (save regularly, pay down debt, donate to worthy c...
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4. Rest, relax, and enjoy (stop watching TV in bed, turn off a cell phone, spend time in nature, cultivate silence, get enoug...
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5. Accomplish more, stop procrastinating (practice an instrument, work without interruption, learn...
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6. Simplify, clear, clean, and organize (make the bed, file regularly, put keys away i...
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7. Engage more deeply in relationships—with other people, with God, with the world (call friends, volunteer, have more sex, spend more time ...
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The first and most important habits question is: “How does a person respond to an expectation?”
it’s crucial to understand how we respond to expectations.
outer expec...
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inner expec...
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Upholders respond readily to both outer expectations and inner expectations.
Questioners question all expectations, and will meet an expectation only if they believe it’s justified.
Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations (my...
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Rebels resist all expectations, outer an...
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OBLIGERS
They’re motivated by external accountability; they wake up and think, “What must I do today?”
it’s difficult for them to self-motivate—
Behavior that Obligers sometimes attribute to self-sacrifice—“Why do I always make time for other people’s priorities at the expense of my own priorities?”—is often better explained as need for accountability.
Obligers may find it difficult to form a habit, because often we undertake habits for our own benefit, and Obligers do things more easily for others than for themselves. For them, the key is external accountability.
Obligers, however, often dislike their Tendency. They’re vexed by the fact that they can meet others’ expectations, but not their expectations for themselves.
The happiest and most successful people are those who have figured out ways to exploit their Tendency to their benefit and, just as important, found ways to counterbalance its limitations.
but our differences are very important. And they have a big influence on habit formation.
I should tailor my habits to the fundamental aspects of my nature that aren’t going to change.
