This and Every Life

by Emmy Sanders

I knew the moment you asked me to move in what you were really asking. I said yes, and I mean it. It’s you and me. For the rest of our lives. Unless you get sick of me.” “Impossible,”

“I’d leave it all behind for you.” His breath puffs out. “I know. But I don’t need you to.”

“I love you madly. I know you know that, but I do, Gray. No matter what happens, no matter what they say, don’t doubt that for a second. We were made for this. To be together. I’m sure of it.”

“Camilla can keep her normal. You’re extraordinary, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“No matter what,” I finally say, “I love you, too. That will never change.”

“Leandros took up his fallen sword, and without a single second of hesitation, he pierced himself through the chest, choosing an eternity of death with his beloved over the offer of immortality with a goddess.”

“Some say the stars themselves wept at the loss of such pure devotion, placing the sword in the sky so that the young lovers could be guided together in the next life.

“What’s stranger yet is that each star mapped in the outline of the sword is the same precise age. They came into existence at exactly the same time. Multiple star systems are certainly not unheard of. But twelve stars born at once and gravitationally bound in a stable array? It’s impressive, to say the least. I don’t think we’ll ever know if myths like Leandros’s were true. But I’d like to think if the star-crossed lovers are out there still that they’re together.”

Nothing but him and me and peaceful quiet beneath a blanket of unending stars.

“Ready to face the music?” “The symphony has already begun,”

“The record being… The two of us are wildly, irrevocably, and madly in love.”

Sometimes, the force of Ezra’s love nearly knocks me on my ass.

No one believes us, that we could possibly want to spend our lives together—share years and create memories—without a sexual or romantic component.

Ezra is my person. And I’m his. I’ve never questioned it, not once in the last twenty years. I found him, and I knew.

Why can’t love, in any form,...

Love is boundless. It’s immeasurable and immense. Beauty on its own.

Romance, sex, friendship, even, are all secondary to what love is at its core.

Love is who we are. What we have to give. And having that returned to us? It’s an affirmation of our very being. That we’re understood. Accepted. That we’re real. Why try to place limits on that? All love is to be treasured.

Ezra’s love is a treasure I won’t ever part with willingly.

You guys are so in sync, like you’re tied together, moving as one.”

I can see Ezra’s good looks. But to me, he’s never been his outward appearance. He’s just…my Ezra.

“You guys are too nice. It’s tragic, really. Guys like you aren’t supposed to be nice.” “That’s a shame. I think niceness should be expected, not the exception.” She raises an eyebrow. “It’s like trying to argue with a ray of sunshine.”

Even across space and time, I can feel him.

“Grayson Fox.” Ezra’s tone is almost lazy, as if the name is one he’s maybe heard before. “Yeah. That man is the love of my life.”

“I would say I’d have loved you in whatever form you came to me. In whatever time. I would defend you with my dying breath, and I would follow you wherever it is you go. The pieces of us were made to fit, Gray. To be drawn together and shared. You told me once bound stars are destined to go out together. And I’m glad for it. Because I can’t imagine a life, now or ever, without you in it.”

“the people who have a problem with you two? Fuck ’em. You guys have already made it. You’re stars, babies. And no one, not even the harshest critic, will dull your brilliant fucking shine.”

I saw you up on that screen, and I had to know you.” “Gray…” “It doesn’t make any sense. I know that. I just…I felt you. In here.” He taps his chest, and I draw in a shaky breath, my eyes burning. “So I came and found you.”

“You’ve turned me into a sap, Fox.” “You’ve always been a sap for me.”

You’re a menace.” “And you’re stuck with me.”

“Do you think it’s possible?” “What’s that?” “Reincarnation… An eternity of death.”

“I want it to be true. Because the thought of ever having to say goodbye to you…” He inhales a ragged breath. “It’s near crippling.”

“Gray… You won’t ever have to say goodbye to me.” “You can’t know that.” “I can, actually. Goodbye is for parting. You and I? We’re bound, remember? You told me yourself. Never say goodbye to me, Grayson Fox. Only…see you soon.”

Grayson has never been a warrior. He’s far too good. Too pure for it. His heart is tender, a quality I’ve always admired about my friend. I don’t mind being his shield. I’d shield him from everything given the chance. Even death.

Maybe we can’t live forever. But I know down to my marrow—wherever his soul goes, mine will follow.

“If it is real, I’ll find you in the next life.”

I don’t need light to know the man beside me. I know him as I know the beat of my heart. And if, as he says, there is a next life? I have no doubt he’ll find me there.

“I’ll be wa...

“I love you, Grayson Fox. With everything I am and everything I will be. Don’t ever forget that.”

I’ve never doubted Ezra’s love. Not for a single second.

“More than all the stars,” I tell him, my own love so vast I ache with it.

Cataclysmic. Ruinous and miraculous. Ezra and I step out to a brilliant flash of stars.

Visions. Past. Future. Fate. Call them what you will. I know the truth.

Shelly is making biscuits on his shoulder now, looking so comfortable I find myself more than a little jealous. Of a cat.

“Who are you to me?” Lee’s voice is solemn, his question causing my breath to stutter. “In these visions you see, are you my…husband? My lover? My friend?” I swallow heavily, a smile tugging at my lips, even as I ache fiercely inside. “All of those,” I tell him. “More.”

Who the fuck are you, Caspian Wilder?”

“I’m yours.”

“Jesus. One day. I’ve known you one day.” “I’ve known you a lot longer.”

“Kiss me, my love. I have caught you. And I shall have my prize.”

“I am yours, my warrior.”

“It was…the very start.” Lee’s eyes trace over my face, as if trying to read me. To understand. “The start of what?” My answer for him is simple, although it’s not simple at all. “The first time I fell in love.”