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July 27 - August 11, 2020
As you begin to monitor your vocabulary, you can also bring more power into your life by expanding your comfort zone.
1. Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having or feeling.
Until you fully understand that you, and no one else, create what goes on in your head, you will never be in control of your life.
2. Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.
Anything that takes away your power or your pleasure makes you a victim. Don’t make yourself a victim of yourself!
4. Taking responsibility means handling the Chatterbox.
5. Taking responsibility means being aware of payoffs that keep you “stuck.”
7. Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation.
1. List all the payoffs you get from staying stuck in some aspect of your life.
2. Be aware of all the options you have during the course of a given day.
3. Start noticing what you say in conversations with friends.
5. Begin to look at the gifts you have received from what you have always looked at as a “bad” situation.
6. This one is really tough! See if you can go one week without criticizing anyone or complaining about anything.
Seven Ways to Reclaim Your Power 1. Avoid casting blame on an external force for your bad feelings about life. Nothing outside yourself can control your thinking or your actions. 2. Avoid blaming yourself for not being in control. You are doing the best you can and you are on the way to reclaiming your power. 3. Be aware of when and where you are playing the victim role. Learn the clues that tell you that you are not being responsible for what you are being, having, doing or feeling. 4. Familiarize yourself with your biggest enemy—your Chatterbox. Use the exercises throughout this book to
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It is reported that over 90% of what we worry about never happens. That means that our negative worries have about a 10% chance of being correct. If this is so, isn’t it possible that being positive is more realistic than being negative?
Nothing is realistic or unrealistic—there is only what we think about any given situation. We create our own reality.
Positive words make us physically strong; negative words make us physically weak. The amazing aspect of this experiment is that it doesn’t matter if we believe the words or not. The mere uttering of them makes our inner self believe them. It is as though the inner self doesn’t know what is true and what is false. It doesn’t judge. It only reacts to what it is fed. When the words “I am weak” come in, our inner self instructs the rest of us, “He wants to be weak today.” When the words “I am strong” come in, the instruction to your body is “He wants to be strong today.”
What does all this tell you? STOP FEEDING YOURSELF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Negative thoughts take away your power … and thus make you more paralyzed from your fear.
1. A small portable cassette machine. If you don’t have a tape machine in your car, you can use the portable one there as well.
2. Inspirational tapes. Some are listed in the back of this book. If you don’t have a local store offering these or similar tapes, send away to the companies listed for their catalogs. Once you realize the benefits you’ll receive from these taped messages, you will take joy in building an extensive tape library.
4. Index cards.
5. Positive quotes. Find those that really touch you in some way. Some very effective quotes for me are:
6. Affirmations. An affirmation is self-talk in its highest form. Remember the power of self-talk in the arm experiment? Affirmations are your greatest tool, and the easiest and cheapest to use. What exactly is an affirmation? An affirmation is a positive statement that something is already happening. It’s not happening tomorrow or in the future, but right now. Here are a few:
Always phrase affirmations in the positive, rather than the negative. Wrong: I am no longer putting myself down. Right: I am becoming more confident every day. Select affirmations that feel right to you at any given time. What feels right changes as your situation and mood changes.
OUTTALK YOUR NEGATIVITY.
Beginner’s Intensive for Positive Thinking
No one is immune to pain, and it shouldn’t be denied when it exists. The key is to know that you can lead a productive and meaningful life no matter what the external circumstances are. What positive thinking does is offer a power boost to help you handle whatever life gives you. Your “bad breaks” do not dominate your life; your indomitable strength does. And when you feel that indomitable strength, you really can handle any of your fears from a position of power—the kind of power that really can make things happen.
IT IS AMAZINGLY EMPOWERING TO HAVE THE SUPPORT OF A STRONG, MOTIVATED AND INSPIRATIONAL GROUP OF PEOPLE.
Like attracts like.
What we resist, persists.
BELIEVE THAT YOUR MATE WANTS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND THAT HE OR SHE WILL ULTIMATELY LOVE THE POSITIVE CHANGES IN YOU.
The lashing-out part of the Pendulum Syndrome comes from this unhealthy attachment.
The most important thing is for you to be your own best friend. Whatever you are doing—don’t put yourself down. Slowly begin to discover which, for you, is the path of the heart. Which path in life will make you grow? That is the path to take. You might be surprised when your loved ones ultimately come to understand and respect that. If not, your new strength will allow you to break unhealthy ties and establish new, healthier ones.
No-Win Model
Every time you encounter something that forces you to “handle it,” your self-esteem is raised considerably. You learn to trust that you will survive, no matter what happens. And in this way your fears are diminished immeasurably.
THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY IS THE KEY TO ALLOWING YOURSELF TO TAKE RISKS.
They have discovered that security is not having things; it’s handling things. Thus, when you can answer all your “what if”s with “I can handle it,” you can approach all things with a no-lose guarantee, and the fear disappears.
1. Focus immediately on the No-Lose Model. Affirm to yourself, “I can’t lose—regardless of the outcome of the decision I make. The world is a place for opportunity, and I look forward to the opportunities for learning and growing that either pathway gives me.” Push out thoughts of what you can lose and allow only thoughts of what can be gained. Use the exercises in the chapter on positive thinking.
2. Do your homework. There is much to learn about the alternatives that lie before you. It is most helpful to talk to as many people as will listen. Don’t be afraid to approach professionals relative to the decision to be made. A few might put you off, but most will be anxious to help. In fact, they will be flattered that you came to them for advice.
Look for feedback from other sources as well. Talk to people at dinner parties, in the barbershop or beauty salon, the doctor’s office, or wherever. People you meet in unlikely places can create a valuable connection for you in ways you never could have imagined, or they might give you an insight learned from their personal experiences. It is important that you talk to the “right” people. Let me give you my definition of the right people. They are those who support your learning and growing. If you talk to people who co...
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One wonderful teacher of mine helped me greatly when he taught me the phrase “First time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me.” Applied to this situation, if you discuss something with people who are insensitive to your needs, shame on them. If you continue to allow yourself to be battered by their words, shame on you. You don’t have to continue having conversations about your decision with those who make you feel bad about yourself. You should talk to people who can support you with statements like “I think it’s terrific you’re considering …” ...
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YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT; YOU’RE A SUCCESS BECAUSE YOU TRY.
There is no such thing as a false start if you are seriously committed to advancement.
not only does talking bring valuable information, it clarifies your intention to have it happen! Intention is a powerful tool in creating something you want in your life.
3. Establish your priorities.
4. Trust your impulses.
1. Throw away your picture.
If you’ve truly committed yourself to something, given it everything you’ve got, and then concluded that it is not for you—move on to something else.
“So the path from here to where we want to be starts with an error, which we correct, which becomes the next error, which we correct and that becomes the next error, which we correct. So the only time we are truly on course is that moment in the zigzag when we actually cross the true path.” From the analogy, we see that the trick in life is not to worry about making a wrong decision; it’s learning when to correct! My concept of the model looks like this:
There are many inner clues that help you know when it is time to correct. The two most obvious are confusion and dissatisfaction.
