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July 27 - August 11, 2020
Fear can be broken down into three levels. The first level is the surface story, such as the ones described above. This level of fear can be divided into two types: those that “happen” and those that require action. Here is a partial list of Level 1 fears divided into these types:
Those that “Happen”
Those Requiring Action
A...
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Going back to...
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Making de...
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Retir...
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Changing a...
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Being...
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Making f...
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Children leav...
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Ending or beginning a re...
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Using the telephone
Change
Asserting ...
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D...
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Being inte...
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Il...
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Dr...
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Public sp...
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Acci...
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Making a ...
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Rape
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Int...
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One of the insidious qualities of fear is that it tends to permeate many areas of our lives. For example, if you fear making new friends, it then stands to reason you also may fear going to parties, having intimate relationships, applying for jobs, and so on.
Level 2 fears are not situation-oriented; they involve the ego.
Rejection Being conned Success Helplessness Failure Disapproval Being vulnerable Loss of image
Level 2 fears have to do with inner states of mind rather than exterior situations. They reflect your sense of self and your ability to handle this world. This explains why generalized fear takes place. If you are afraid of being rejected, this fear will affect almost every area of your life—friends, intimate relationships, job interviews, and so on. Rejection is rejection—wherever it is found.
LEVEL 3 FEAR I CAN’T HANDLE IT!
The truth is: IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE ANYTHING THAT CAME YOUR WAY, WHAT WOULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO FEAR? The answer is: NOTHING!
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY!
From this moment on, every time you feel afraid, remind yourself that it is simply because you are not feeling good enough about yourself. Then proceed to use one or more of the tools in this book to help build yourself up. You have your task clearly mapped out for you. There is no reason for confusion.
WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, GIVEN ANY SITUATION, I CAN HANDLE IT!
I’LL HANDLE IT!
TRUTH 1 THE FEAR WILL NEVER GO AWAY AS LONG AS I CONTINUE TO GROW.
TRUTH 2 THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF THE FEAR OF DOING SOMETHING IS TO GO OUT AND DO IT.
WHEN/THEN
TRUTH 3 THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF IS TO GO OUT … AND DO IT.
The “doing it” comes before the feeling better about yourself. When you make something happen, not only does the fear of the situation go away, but also you get a big bonus: you do a lot toward building your self-confidence. It’s fairly predictable, however, that when you’ve finally mastered something and gotten rid of the fear, it will feel so good you will decide there is something else out there you want to accomplish, and—guess what! The fear begins again as you prepare to meet a new challenge.
TRUTH 4 NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO EXPERIENCE FEAR WHENEVER I’M ON UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY, BUT SO IS EVERYONE ELSE.
TRUTH 5 PUSHING THROUGH FEAR IS LESS FRIGHTENING THAN LIVING WITH THE UNDERLYING FEAR THAT COMES FROM A FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS.
IF EVERYBODY FEELS FEAR WHEN APPROACHING SOMETHING TOTALLY NEW IN LIFE, YET SO MANY ARE OUT THERE “DOING IT” DESPITE THE FEAR, THEN WE MUST CONCLUDE THAT FEAR IS NOT THE PROBLEM.
It’s not the ability to get someone else to do what you want them to do. It’s the ability to get yourself to do what you want to do. If you do not own this kind of power, you lose your sense of peace. You are in a very vulnerable place.
“The pathway is smooth. Why do you throw rocks before you?”
ACTION IS VERY POWERFUL!
“Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.”
Remember that each time you get angry at yourself for an action you have taken, you keep yourself on the side of pain.
“I can’t” implies you have no control over your life, whereas “I won’t” puts a situation in the realm of choice. From this moment on, strike “I can’t” from your vocabulary.
“I should” is another loser. It, too, implies that you have no choices in life. “I could” is more powerful. “I could visit my mother, but I’m choosing to go to the movies today.” This puts things in the realm of choice instead of obligation. “I can visit my mother or I can go to the movies. I think I’ll choose my mother today.” “Shoulds” bring on guilt and upset—totally draining emotions. Your power is taken away every time you utter the words “I should.”
“I hope” is another victim’s phrase. “I know” has far more power. I hope I will get a job. I know I will get a job.
