The King's Men (All for the Game, #3)

by Nora Sakavic

For a moment Nathaniel was months away from this moment, standing in the darkened front hall of Andrew's house for the first time with a warm key digging into his palm. It felt like coming home, and it was enough to take the edge off his fear.

I don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose any of you. I don't want to be Nathaniel anymore. I want to be Neil for as long as I can." "Good," Wymack said. "I'd have a hell of a time fitting 'Wesninski' on a jersey."

This had to be a cruel dream. Their forgiveness threatened to burn Nathaniel up from the inside-out, as healing as it was damning. He didn't deserve their friendship or their trust.

"Can I really be Neil again?" "I told Neil to stay," Andrew said. "Leave Nathaniel buried in Baltimore with his father."

He traced Andrew's key into his skin with a bandaged finger. "Neil Abram Josten," Neil murmured, and it felt like waking up from a bad dream.

Neil sat in the backseat with Andrew and toyed with the bandages on his face. Andrew popped the back of his head when he realized what Neil was doing and ignored Neil's scowl.

are you okay?" "No," Neil said, "but I think I will be."

"Don't worry," Nicky said, with a failed attempt at cheer. "Andrew will protect you." Kevin flicked him a horrified look. "These are the Moriyamas, Nicky. This is not Riko and the master; this is not Neil's father. Andrew can't—" "I know," Nicky cut in, irritated. "Just shut up."

Renee looked to Neil and said, "What do you need from us, Neil?" It didn't take much thought. "Everything I needed, you already gave me. You let me stay."

Neil studied Andrew's face until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. He dreamed of facing his father on an Exy court, and in his dream the Foxes won.

Andrew hadn't spoken to anyone since they checked out of the hotel in Baltimore. Neil doubted the others had noticed, since Andrew rarely talked to even Kevin or Nicky now that he was sober, but Neil wasn't used to the silent treatment.

"You are a mess," Andrew said against Neil's lips. "What else is new?"

"Your neck fetish is not attractive." "You like it," Neil said, unapologetic. "I like that you like it."

"Yes or no?" "It's always yes with you,"

Andrew ghosted a kiss across Neil's hip

"Our game is over now, isn't it?" "It's still my turn," Andrew pointed out. "But after that?" Neil asked. "I have no secrets left to trade." "Come up with something else." "What would you take?" "What would you give me?" "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to,"

Neil lifted his little finger from his mug and let Andrew hook the key ring over it.

I'm fine,

Neil said, "you've saved my life. I can't just say 'thank you' for that." "You don't have to," Wymack said. "I brought you here, but you saved yourself. You're the one who decided to stay. You're the one who stopped being afraid long enough to realize you could get a grip here and a foothold there. You found your own way.

Abby cupped Neil's face in one hand before getting to work. Afterward she packed a travel kit for him to take to the mountains and kissed his forehead farewell.

"I don't drink," Neil reminded him. "You don't drink because you are afraid of losing control," Andrew said. "What do you have to hide now?" That easy accusation brought Neil up short. He looked at the drink again. Andrew moved it closer, and Neil took the glass. Andrew lifted his a little in either challenge or invitation, and they knocked their drinks back together.

Andrew smelled of cigarette smoke and whisky the night he gave Neil a key to his house and told him to stay. Neil was always going to carry his past with him, but he didn't have to be weighed down by it. With enough time he could smooth the wretched edges out and replace his triggers with better memories.

"No fucking where I can hear it. It isn't fair to those of us who aren't getting any." "Maybe if you ask Kevin very nicely," Nicky started. Kevin's scathing look was almost louder than Allison's revolted noise.

He didn't care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew closer, and he let Andrew take him apart until he couldn't think anymore.

"I trust you," he said. "Thank you." "Oh, wow," Nicky said. "Who's humanizing who in that relationship, anyway?"

Andrew offered silent toast and they drank together. Andrew's kiss was hotter than the whisky and more than enough to take the bite off his tongue.

"You already walked away from him once knowing what Riko would do to him in your absence. Don't do it again. If you don't protect him now, his death is on you."

"After everything that's happened this year, after Riko and your father and the FBI and knowing Lord Ichirou has found out about you, why aren't you afraid?" "I am," Neil said. "But I'm more afraid of letting go than I am of holding on."

"Figure out what you want more than anything, what it would kill you to lose. That's what's at stake if you let Riko win. Calculate the cost of your fear. If it's too much, you need to fight. Wouldn't you rather die trying than never try at all?"

The King's lost all his men and there's nothing he can do about it

"Choose us," Neil said. It was enough to shut Andrew up—maybe only for a second, but Neil would take any opening he could get. "Kevin's going to retake his spot on Court before he graduates. He thinks I can make the cut with enough practice and time. Come with us. Let's all play in the Olympics together one day. We'd be unstoppable."

Neil didn't blame Kevin for his fear, but he needed to see Kevin overcome it.

He saw his future in every shot fired and deflected, every point stolen and thwarted, and he could barely breathe through his excitement.

"Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?" Andrew gazed at him in silence for a minute. "I did."

"No," Andrew said, and Neil's hand froze a breath from Andrew's arm. Andrew went still as well, and they stood for a minute in awful silence. Finally Andrew looked back at him, but for a moment Neil didn't know who he was looking at. In the space of one breath Andrew's expression went so dark and distant Neil almost retreated. Then Andrew was back, as calm and uncaring as always, and he caught Neil's wrist to push his hand to his side. He dug his fingers in before letting go, not quite hard enough to hurt, and said, "That's why."

Did you know I've never been skiing? I'd like to try it one day, though."

"Last I checked you hated me," Neil said against Andrew's mouth. "Everything about you," Andrew said. Neil pushed himself up a bit. "I'm not as stupid as you think I am." "And I'm not as smart as I thought I was,"

"I am not a pipe dream," Neil said. "I'm not going anywhere." "I didn't ask you." "Ask me," Neil insisted, "or stick around long enough to figure it out for yourself." "I'll get bored of you eventually." "You sure?" Neil asked. "Rumor has it I'm pretty interesting." "Don't believe everything you hear."

"I won't be like them," Neil said. "I won't let you let me be." "One hundred and one," Andrew said, "going on one hundred and two." "You're a terrible liar," Neil said, and Andrew kissed him into silence.

Andrew got up without argument or comment, and they followed Kevin to the Foxhole Court.

Kevin didn't care who he offended and kept his eyes on Dan. "If you'll actually get the ball to us, we can do something with it." Matt looked at Andrew. "One of these days you have to let me hit him." Andrew gazed back at him in unimpressed silence.

Dan saw Neil coming and broke free of the Foxes to bolt for him. She popped nearly every vertebrae in Neil's spine with how hard she hugged him and she couldn't seem to let go again.

"I'm fine,"

His clock was still ticking down, but his numbered days followed a different schedule now. Neil had all the time in the world, and that left a heat in his gut stronger than any whisky could.

"I'm fine,"

"Let Riko be King," Kevin said, with the exaggerated enunciation of the thoroughly sloshed. "Most coveted, most protected. He'll sacrifice every piece he has to protect his throne. Whatever. Me?" Kevin gestured again, meaning to indicate himself but too drunk to get his hand higher than his waist. "I'm going to be the deadliest piece on the board." "Queen," Andrew said

At length Andrew smiled, slow and cold. It was the first time he'd smiled since coming off his drugs, and Neil couldn't help but stare. "Now it's getting fun," Andrew said. "Finally," Kevin said, equal parts exhaustion and exasperation.

Kevin dragged his stare back to Wymack's face and said, "and my father comes to all of my games. That is enough." On Wymack's other side, Abby's gaze softened. Wymack's jaw worked for a moment before he could say in an even tone, "Your mother would be proud of you." "Not just of me," Kevin said in a rare bout of humanity.

Fight because you don't know how to die quietly. Win because you don't know how to lose. This king's ruled long enough—it's time to tear his castle down."

"You're crazy," Neil said to Andrew in an undertone. "This is news to no one," Andrew said.