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I take the white, square envelope and when I flip it around, I realize it’s a CD sleeve and there’s one in it. Danny’s Holy Grail of Happiness, is scribbled on with a green marker, I can only assume is Sharpie. “You burned me a disc?” He grabs both ends of the towel, nodding. “Something told me you’ve never had the privilege of downloading music illegally. I figured I’d bless you with a CD.
“Please,” he softly purrs, leaning forward, his lips hovering over the shell of my ear. “I’ll keep begging. You know I will.”
“I can beg all night, Jos.” “Don’t you have a game tomorrow?” “What does that have to do with anything?” He pulls back, staring down at me with dark hooded eyes. “Beg if you want. I still won’t care.” “God, you’re such a—” His jaw tics, eyes darker than they’ve ever been. “I’m a what?” My pussy clenches. He cups the side of my neck with both hands, his lips just an inch away from mine. “A fucking brat. So stubborn. So frustrating. So hot…”
I try to keep a serious face but she’s laughing and smiling. She sounds so pretty, so free, so her, I bask in the sound of it, forgetting for a moment what we were talking about.
“I don’t ever think I’ve seen you celebrate like that. And why were you pointing at your eyes like that?” I was sending a message to Josie, eyes on me.
I feel grounded. That’s what seeing her makes me feel.
I didn’t notice it before but after she told me about her mom, I realized how on edge she looks when I’m home later than usual. I know it worries her even though she hasn’t voiced it out loud because I feel the same when she’s in the water. It’s ridiculous considering she knows how to swim, but anything can happen.
I laugh and she smiles. Neither one of us says a word. I feel alive. That’s what talking to her makes me feel.
“I’m so happy you’re here, Josie.” I caress her cheek. “I’m so happy you’re here, Garcia,” she echoes, and it does something strange to my chest.
“You got it. You’re doing fine,” I encourage, inhaling a shuddering breath, and sit up. “Relax and breathe for me. Don’t tense up. I’m not going to get any smaller.” She looks up at me, eyes welled with tears and nostrils flaring. She flips me off and gags again when I push her head down. “Don’t be mean to me. It’ll only turn me on more,” I taunt, pushing her head once more just for the hell of it.
Whenever you want, Josie, I’m yours.”
My cock throbs at the sight. I don’t think as I replace my fingers with hers. Collecting my cum, I slowly push them inside her. She clenches around my fingers, whimpering as I pull out just a little before I shove them back inside. “You like my cum on you?” She bites her bottom lip and nods. “And in me.”
“No, I want to make this a ten out of ten experience for you. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t feed you after giving you the greatest orgasm of your life?” I lazily smile. “The greatest orgasm of my life?”
I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m really excited now. It’s kind of hard to believe that a few months ago I didn’t look forward to anything, and now I look forward to moments with Daniel.
The need to touch her has been constant. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t want to touch her. We wouldn’t need to do anything. I’d be okay with just holding her, listening to her heartbeat and the sound of her voice.
My priorities have changed. I don’t want any of those things. I want you. I need you, I want to say but my tongue feels heavy, stuck to the roof of my mouth.
“What do you want then?” Her gaze holds mine and her hand tightens around me. You.
“Let’s make a deal.” Her lips quirk. “Okay?” “If we’re not married by the time we’re thirty, we’ll get married. And we’ll have four babies like we talked about.” Josie blinks, taken aback. “You want to marry me? Why?” she asks like the thought seems unfathomable, something she’s not entirely processing. “Because I see a life with you,” I say because I don’t want to lie. I don’t want to pretend like I haven’t thought about it. “Because you make sense. Because you make me happy and I hope I make you happy.”
“There’s nothing to think about. Josefine, I like you as you are. You’re smart and a smart-ass.” She glares but smiles a little bigger at that. “You’re resilient. Strong. A fighter. You. You have a lot of great qualities. Don’t ever let anyone believe you don’t because you do.” I pause, really imagining Josie being my wife. Mine forever. Whoa. “And I also like taking care of you. I like doing things for you, so we’re good. But just so you know, once we’re married, you can’t divorce me, Jos. I’m serious.”
“Because, Josefine, you’ve rewired the way I feel touch. Touching anyone that isn’t you feels overwhelming and so wrong. It’s like my brain can’t process that it’s not you. I don’t know how to make sense of that but I don’t want to touch anyone that isn’t you. You’re incomparable. And no, I haven’t touched anyone to find that out. I just know. I can’t and won’t touch anyone that isn’t you.
“You’re a big deal to me, so I’m going to make it one. And I want you to be clingy, just for once, be clingy for me, Jos.”
“Can I be clingy?” “Aren’t you already?” He chuckles, cups the side of my neck, and leans down. God, how I missed the sound of that. “Not really but I’ll show you clingy.” “Oh yay. Just what I wanted,” I reply sarcastically. “Don’t pretend. Be honest with me. Admit you like me needy,” he gruffly says against my lips. “And while you’re at it, tell me whatever’s happening between us is staying strictly between us.”
“Yes, I like you needy and whatever is happening between us is staying strictly between us. That shouldn’t have been a question. You already take up most of my time; I don’t have it for someone else.” And I don’t want to give it to anyone else. “Even when I’m not around?” His lips graze mine. “Even when you’re not around,” I reiterate, pecking his lips because I can’t help myself anymore. “Happy?” “Always with you.” He eliminates the tiny space between our lips and kisses me hard.
“I mean it, you look beautiful.” “But?” I provoke, pushing my chest into him. “But you also look really fucking hot. You’d drown me in holy water if you saw what’s inside my head right now.” Daniel clamps my nipple hard and twirls it between his fingers.
Grabbing her hips, I tug her, closing the space between us. “You’re worth it. I need you to understand that I don’t like the thought of anyone fucking with you. I’m not doing this out of pity or because I feel obligated, but I do think about that night because…” I swallow. “Because I just do. I can’t help it, and I can stand here and lie but there’s no point.” Raising my hands, I cup the side of her neck. “I care so deeply for you and it’s not because of how we met. I care for you more than I care about anything or anyone. I need you to understand that I’d do anything for you. I need you to
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“Because I want you to know you’re all I care about. All I think about. All I want.”
I don’t want to be her problem, something she needs to worry about. But I want to be selfish, just this once. I want to make her mine, and I want her to want me just as much.
I’m not going to push because I don’t know where she truly stands with me. She doesn’t believe in love, I know that much, but I’d love to be the difference. I’d love to win her over, but I don’t want to rush it either.
“My heart begs for you.” “Maybe it’s heartburn?” she mumbles into my shoulder. I smile. “It’s not. I promise. Lately and for a while my heart and mind have been in a complicated relationship. They can’t agree so things don’t make sense or align, but you have somehow made them work together.”
“I’m strictly yours like I hope you’re strictly mine.” My heart thrashes, liking the sound of that. Her lips stretch into a small smile. “Strictly mine. Strictly yours.”
“You’re surreal.” I kiss her again because I can’t get enough of her and I know I never will. And now, even though there’s no label to what we are, she’s my girl, mine, and I intend to keep it that way forever.
“Please stay you. I like your soft heart.” I smile, the anger fading away. “My soft heart?” Her face flushes and she casts her gaze down. “Yeah, you have this thing where you see the good in things. I don’t want that to change about you.”
“Here’s the thing, and listen to me closely…” I cup her jaw with both hands, staring at her red, tear-filled eyes. “When I said I like you, I didn’t say that for the hell of it. When I said I like you, I meant I like every version of you. That includes all the moments whether they’re good or bad. That means all your little expressions, all your dry snarky comments, all your smiles, laughs, and everything that comes from you. I like it all, Josefine. I know it’s hard for you to open up. I know it’s scary and I know this is probably a lot for you, but I am here and as long as you want me in your
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She’s therapy and medicine all in one. I feel anchored and high all at once with her.
I don’t think she knows the control, the grip, she has over me. I don’t think she understands what I’d do for her, how strongly I feel for her.
“I don’t want to give you my pain.” “I have pain; you have pain. I’m pretty sure they’ll somehow cancel each other out.”
“I haven’t been numb in a while. I look forward to things…” “Yeah?” I breathe easily. “What kind of things?” She nods. “Things like…waking up with you in the mornings. Sharing coffee with you. Talking to you. Being with you. You,” she shyly says, and I smile. “I feel the same way. I look forward to all things consisting of you.”
“You deserve good things, Daniel. All and every good thing, you deserve.” She breathes out a poignant sigh. “I hate I’m sorrys wholeheartedly. Anytime I hear them, my skin itches. It’s all I heard when Mom passed,” she whispers in my ear with a gripping pain, I feel every tremor in her voice choke my soul. “So I shouldn’t say this because maybe you’ll hate it too, but I’m so sorry.” She shakily breathes, voice catching in her throat. “I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m sorry I can’t take your pain away. If I could, I would.”
sobbing wtf
“I know this is going to sound biased because he’s my brother, but please give him a chance. He’s—and don’t tell him I said this—a pretty great guy. He cooks, he’s sweet, his love language is acts of service, he’s loyal. That’s not even one fourth of all his great qualities. Put him out of his misery and give him a chance. I promise he’ll be good to you.”
Baby, I want the whole universe to know you’re mine.” Now I’m cheesing. “Oh, so you and me, we’re official now?” “This has always been official to me,” he gravely says but still smiles. “A label isn’t going to determine what we are. I’m yours, strictly.”
“You look beautiful.” “Is that what you’re really thinking?” He briefly closes his eyes and smirks when they open. “Keeping it G, Jos. Don’t do this to me now.” “I’m wearing green,” I tease him. His brows furrow before they set in a straight line with realization. He clicks his tongue and laughs under his breath. “The jersey and the green when we get home.” I roll my lips together and shrug. “Win first.”
When I finally look at what he wrote on the ball, I laugh, garnering looks from Pen and her parents, but I don’t look at them. I look up at my boyfriend, who’s already looking at me. Eyes on me
He grins, eyes sweeping over me again. “You make me so happy.” I’m crushing so hard for him, it’s insane. I’m blushing and smiling so much, I think I’m actually crashing out. This can’t be healthy, can it?
“It’s Josie said I’m Her Boyfriend Day. This is one the biggest holidays of them all. So naturally I had to get my girlfriend these.” The backs of my eyes burn. “But you got me flowers last month—a lot of them…” Don’t cry! “That was last month, and they’re dead now. This is this month, and next month will be next month.”
He’s filled every inch of this place with him, and I don’t mean that physically. Him just being here, making this place his home, our home. Don’t cry! “Do you like it?” he asks hesitantly. “I’m having a moment here, and I’m trying to remain calm,” I honestly say. I’m doing my best to regulate my emotions and not go off anytime I feel overwhelmed by how much he cares about me. I look up at him, and my world steadies. “I l…like you. I like you a lot.”
“Take it out, Josie.” It’s a painful, desperate plea and when I gently graze my teeth along his length, he whimpers, “Please, baby. Please take it out. Please…” he whimpers again. I thought hearing him moan was hot, but hearing that aching sound leaving his lips makes me wetter.
“You’re so hot,” he grunts, jaw clenching and voice deep and throaty. It doesn’t sound like him. “I’m so fucking obssessed with you.”
“And apparently, he has a little gem thing in his wallet that you wore? Yeah, we knew it was going to happen.” My head swivels down at him. “The rhinestone? You still have it? I thought you threw it away?” He looks a little bashful, his cheeks tinting pink. “I couldn’t get rid of it.”
“I have to tell you another secret,” he whispers. “Yeah, tell me,” I whisper back. “Sometimes…I wish I was dead.” My heart drops and I rear back, looking up at the guys because he said that loud enough, I know they heard.
I lean over and whisper against his temple, “You deserve good things, Daniel. You deserve to be happy. I’m sorry it couldn’t be with me.” Then I kiss the top of his head and walk away.
