Please Don't Go (The Midnight Strike, #1)

by E. Salvador

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You don’t touch a girl without her permission, ever, Garcia.” And now I’m stuck on the way she said my last name. Why did that sound hot? Focus.

“You’re so fucking…” “I’m so fucking what?” My lips tempt to curl upward. “Fucking frustrating. You and your goddamn insistence.” She quietly groans. Now I can’t stop them from lifting all the way up. She glares at me, and I only smile wider.

Except I don’t want anything in return but for her to be happy, safe, and okay.

I wouldn’t even be here, but since that night Daniel intervened, I haven’t been able to bring myself to end it. Maybe it’s a punishment from Mom. If she were here right now, I know she’d reprimand me for attempting to take the easy way out. She’d tell me her exit from this world wasn’t easy, so why should mine be?

Maybe she wants to purposely stay in the shadows because she thinks that’s where she belongs, but that would never work for her because I see her.

She is light, a blinding color that’s hard to ignore. Like a lighthouse guiding you home.

Maybe she thinks she’s broken and not worth fixing, or maybe I’m just projecting because that’s how I feel. Broken…lost…empty.

With Josefine, I feel like I’m standing on a fine line. She’s on one side while I’m on the other. It’d be easy to step back, stay safe, and keep my distance. But I really don’t want to do that.

I truly don’t but that changes today because my favorite shade is whatever Josie wears. And today happens to be a combination of all the green hues on her bikini top. Lime green. Yellow green. Dark green.

“And I know it’s yours and not hers because you have ten of these on each eye. You’re missing one right”—he lifts a finger and points beneath my right eye, faintly touching the skin—“there.” I don’t want to stand here and act oblivious, but I’m having a hard time grasping the fact that Daniel counted the rhinestones on my face.

When I march back out with a knife and my car keys, his eyes go round. After I shut and lock my door, I turn and see the shock on his face swiftly shift and become grave, but that doesn’t stop me from walking past him. “So, we need to have alibis and shovels, and we need to make it quick. Also, we need to keep the blood to a minimum because you know that’s hard to get rid of, or at least it’s what I’ve seen in the shows.” I halt in my tracks and spin around. He almost crashes into me, but he manages to stop in time. “What are you talking about?” “Are we not murdering Bryson?”

Surely there must be heart condition problems running in my family I don’t know about because the way my heart is racing is terrifying.

“Voy a ir contigo, aunque quieras o no. Y no discutas conmigo porque está conversión ya ha terminado. Sí me entendiste esta vez?” Wow. “¿Estás seguro?” “Contigo, siempre.”

Two words, that’s all they are, but they feel like more than that. They make my heart light up, as though a wick has been lit. The tiny flame warms and illuminates the middle of my cold, black heart.

“That’s good to hear. I don’t know what or who I’d be without my finger.” “You’d still be you and that’s all that matters,” he softly says.

The only thing that stands out, that wasn’t here last night is a Post-it note lying in the middle of the bed. When I pick it up and read it, my heart jolts. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!

Hola mijo como estás? Sé que estás bien ocupado, pero nomás quería saber cómo estás? Te extraño mucho y espero que estés bien

“I don’t care what you say or what you do but don’t talk about Josie like that again. I’m not fucking around.”

Grayson: So… Noah: Shut up Grayson: I didn’t say anything Kainoa: So we’re going to ignore the elephant in the room? Angel: Leave him alone. I got you papi

She peers up at me, a twitch in her cheek, and like all the times she’s done that or remotely smiles, I document it and store it in a filing cabinet dedicated to her in my head.

Dios, no tengo suficientes palabras para explicar qué tan hermosa es.

“What’s the special occasion?” You being alive. You being here. You letting me in. You. I want to say all of this, but I don’t know how without making her feel uncomfortable.

her lips faintly quirk up and I feel fireworks go off. I did that. I want to capture it with my camera, but I don’t want to make it weird.

She softly chuckles. Holy shit, I made her chuckle. Breathe. Calm down. She just chuckled. No big deal. No. Big. De—fuck, she chuckled. I did that.

I’ll be here whenever she’s ready. But if she’s not, at least she knows I’m here because that’s what I wrote. I’m here for you. I see you. You’re not alone. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!

My anxiety has lessened but now I feel…nervous but for different reasons. Am I overstepping? I want to make her happy, I want to help her fill the emptiness, I want to do whatever I can to make her feel good, but I don’t want to push.

I don’t miss the faint jerk of her lips. Fireworks. Every single time she does that.

Her lips jerk again and so does my heart.

“I don’t know who made you feel that way, but I don’t see you like that. I just see Josefine.” I take one step closer; my arms hang limply at my sides, but they feel anything but that. They feel heavy, and I’m desperate to reach out and hold her. “I still don’t know you as much as I’d like, but like I told you that night on the cliff, I want to get to know you. I want you to let me in and when you’re ready, I’ll be here. And if there’s ever anything you want to talk about, like your mom, I’ll be here too.”

“I got you,” she softly and earnestly says, but more than anything, it sounds like a promise and I believe her.

“Did you just call me Danny?” “Yes, but I think I like Garcia better.” A smile grows on his face. Bright and sweet like he is. “I think I prefer that too. You’re the only one who calls me Garcia, anyway. So it can be our thing.”

“And Sparky?” He waves his hand in the air. “I spark energy everywhere I go.” Yeah…that seems pretty accurate. I can’t help but smile a little at that and I don’t miss the way his eyes drop to my lips. “Cute.” “You called me cute; you can’t take it back.”

able to help⁠—” “I know exactly what you meant. Don’t deny it, Jos, you think I’m cute.” His eyes twinkle with mischief. “No, I think you’re hot, but if you prefer cute then…” A splash of pink colors his cheeks and his smile drops before he picks it back up. “No, no. I like hot. So, you think I’m hot?” “And shallow.”

“You understand I’m going to consume your life? It’s going to get so bad, you’re going to get sick of me.” It’s only been a month since he stopped me from ending it all, but since then, my days have revolved around trying to keep moving, and thinking of him. I wish I could make my brain cut the wire that seems dead set on being attached to him. I didn’t even think of Bryson this much when I was dating him. “That’s not going to happen.”

“I’m meal prepping for you.” He grabs a wooden spoon and one of the pots and fills three glass containers. “I hope I’m not overstepping. I know you said you didn’t have the energy and life gets busy. I know it’s easier getting takeout or buying already made meals, but sometimes there’s nothing like a home-cooked meal. I hope this is okay. I promise to clean all of this up.”

omg can he get any sweeter. girl is literally struggling with life and he wants to help her out in the smallest but biggest ways possible

“You really didn’t have to do this. The already cooked meals are fine.” “I wanted to. Pen says it’s my love language or whatever that’s called.”

“Grief is…funny,” I murmur, dropping my gaze. He tucks a finger underneath my chin, forcing me to look into his soft, cloud-like eyes. “Very.” He smiles tenderly and something about it feels like a caress to my soul. It ignites the light in my heart again. “You’re not alone.”

I feel like we’re in this bubble and it freaks me out because bubbles can easily pop. But this also feels different, like the bubble isn’t as self-destructive as it usually is.

I know that Daniel needs someone. I’ve never been someone’s person and I doubt I’m what he needs. I’m probably the last person who should be comforting him...

My smile is far from what might be considered one but his eyes, like they always do, are drawn to my lips. It feels like an automatic response or like two magnets. Whatever it may be, his eyes are there, and his face glow...

Instead, I cup his cheek, rubbing slow, gentle circles. “You’re not alone, Daniel.” And I’ve never felt more seen. But does he feel seen? “I’m here,” I opt for saying instead of asking.

And Adrian, he would…” He chuckles emptily but mournfully. “Whine and lie about everything. He’d smile, popping those dimples—that I didn’t inherit—to get away with anything. And it always worked.”

Sobbing

“I don’t have an emergency contact but⁠—” “Put me down,” he casually supplies and grabs the masher just as casually. Actually, everything he’s doing seems like something he regularly does. This feels so domestic.

“Sto facendo di tutto per non baciarti in questo momento.” I lift a brow, holding back a smile. “Well? You know I have no idea what that means.” He stares at me for a long beat, his amber eyes holding me in place and burning me up. “I said, I hope you’re ready to eat.”

Everything I was feeling earlier leaves, like it always does when I’m around her. I don’t know what it is about Josefine that makes my thoughts run mad but also makes everything in me feel calm.

“Hey, Josie.” I smile down at her. She looks up, lips lifting slightly. “Hey, Garcia.” Fireworks, a million of them, go off in my chest.

Have you picked a color?” “Brown.” “Brown? You know there are so many colors you could’ve picked from?” “I know but I have a thing for brown.” Her eyes meet mine and the sun hits them just right; they look like two pools of incandescent amber. Mesmerizing and magnetic, making it hard to look away from.

When I direct my attention back to the card and open it, my breath hitches at the silver key taped on one side. On the other side, it says, To Your New Toaster. The bottom has two different toasters drawn inside that look like little homes. One is old with two slots for bread, while the other is new with four slots. “Josie.” “You don’t have to stay, but if you ever feel like you need to um…get some rest, you can. Don’t feel obligated to spend the night or come over. But if you ever need space from your roommates, you’re more than welcome to stay.”

“Thanks, Josie.” I take it off the card and immediately attach it to my key ring. “Yeah.” And then she goes quiet again for the rest of the trail. And so am I because I’m struggling to accept that she trusts me so much, she gave me a key to her house.

!!!!

It’s weird how silence can feel so loud, so suffocating, so isolating. It’s my fault for craving it back then. I wished for it, prayed everything would just for a moment be quiet. And now that I have it, I hate it. Whoever said be careful what you wish for wasn’t lying.