The Left Behind Complete Set, Series 1-12

by Tim LaHaye

“Mr. Carpathia, this is Fitz. Gerald Fitzhugh.”

I’d say this is a ridiculous name for a politician, but we currently have a guy named Buttigieg running for president, so I consider this one of the more realistic moments in the book so far.

“Well, take it from a guy who’s been in the saddle for six years. You don’t ever get used to it. You just develop calluses in the right places, if you know what I mean.”

Ugh, off-brand Bill Clinton isn’t even fun to read. Just uncomfortable.

You have been so good to Chaim, and I am prepared to give you a bit of a secret—you would call it a scoop.

The Romanian sat forward and looked directly into Buck’s eyes. That gave Buck such a feeling of peace and security that he felt free to tell him everything. Everything. Even that his friend Dirk had tipped him off about someone meeting with Stonagal and Todd-Cothran, and Buck’s assuming it was Carpathia. “It was I,” Carpathia said.

Carpathia puts the emphasis of his dramatic reveal on the wrong word of the sentence. That’s what happens when you don’t practice your evil monologue with a live audience. You get nervous in the moment. You’re afraid you might have to clear your throat at the wrong moment. The vibe just isn’t the same, and these little mistakes slip through.

“That’s exactly what we were doing, Mr. Carpathia. That and trying to get to the bottom of it.” Rosenzweig was called to the door again; then he whispered in Carpathia’s ear. “Buck, come here,” Carpathia said, rising and leading Buck toward a window, away from Rosenzweig.

He leaned into Buck’s ear, and said, “I have something else you can get to the bottom of.” I mean, come on! There has to be fanfic of this scene. It writes itself.

Carpathia sighed. “Buck, I told you your friend Dirk was wrong about a conspiracy. That is true. I am not in bed with Todd-Cothran or Stonagal or any of the other international leaders I have been honored to meet recently. However,

LaHaye is teasing me with this romance, and he knows it!

He begins to see the wisdom of letting someone else, a younger man, someone with more enthusiasm and vigor and fresh vision take over.”

What more could he say or do? Bruce had encouraged him just to pray, but he was not made that way. He would pray, of course, but he had always been a man of action.

Those actions include: not having an affair, flying airplanes, watching tv, waiting at home for his daughter, waiting at home WITH his daughter, watching a DVD, reading a Bible, lying on a bed, weeping, praying, getting robbed, going to church, buying a new TV, listening to voice mails, scheduling flights, and so on. Oh, the thrills.

Now, every action seemed to push her farther away. He felt that if he said or did anything more, he would be responsible for her deciding against Christ once and for all.

Nooooo! I thought we were about to transition into Rayford finally doing something in the story. Not that he would decide to become *more* inactive.

He could not sleep. He tiptoed downstairs and turned on the new TV, tuning in CNN. From Israel came the strangest report.

Oh boy! Time for some more wacky exposition!

“No one knows the two men,” said the CNN reporter on the scene, “who refer to each other as Eli and Moishe. They have stood here before the Wailing Wall since just before dawn, preaching in a style frankly reminiscent of the old American evangelists. Of course the Orthodox Jews here are in an uproar, charging the two with desecrating this holy place by proclaiming that Jesus Christ of the New Testament is the fulfillment of the Torah’s prophecy of a messiah.

Bruce had told him and the rest of the core group at New Hope that there would soon spring up 144,000 Jews who would believe in Christ and begin to evangelize around the world. Were these the first two?

Question: does your series count as an adaptation of Revelation if you only refer to the events of revelation via CNN news update in the background? I suspect this is a problem of having most of the major events foretold in the Bible take place in Israel, while most of the readership of this book live in America. Sure, we’ll probably transition there as the series gets wilder. But I’m having flashbacks to the Thief in the Night series, where this exact thing happened. Except that series had an excuse, because they had to film in Des Moines. I guess my real question is: why don’t we have a point-of-view character located in Jerusalem? It seems like the most interesting place to be. Plus, as a book, there aren’t budgetary restraints on the setting or special effects.

The thirty-three-year-old leader wowed the media at a small press conference this morning, followed by a masterful speech to the United Nations General Assembly in which he had the entire crowd standing and cheering, including the press. He reportedly sat for a cover photo session with People magazine and will be their first ever Sexiest Man Alive to appear less than a year after the previous designate. “Associates of Carpathia have announced that he has already extended his schedule to include addresses to several international meetings in New York over the next two weeks and that he has been invited by President Fitzhugh to speak to a joint session of Congress and spend a night at the White House.

Does the author think we just skipped over those chapters? Why the in-depth recap?

The anchorwoman continued: “Out of New York late this evening comes a report that a Global Weekly writer has been cleared of all charges and suspicion in the death of a Scotland Yard investigator. Cameron Williams, award-winning senior writer at the Weekly, had been feared dead in a car bombing that took the life of the investigator Alan Tompkins, who was also an acquaintance of Williams. “Tompkins’s remains had been identified and Williams’s passport and ID were found among the rubble after the explosion. Williams’s assumed death was reported in newspapers across the country, but he reappeared in New York late this afternoon and was seen at the United Nations press conference following Nicolae Carpathia’s speech. “Earlier this evening, Williams was considered an international fugitive, wanted by both Scotland Yard and Interpol for questioning in connection with the bombing death. Both agencies have since announced he has been cleared of all charges and is considered lucky to have escaped unharmed.

Seriously, why did I need to read this recap? Is it so I know that Rayford knows? He watches TV all day; I can assume he’s been following this stuff close enough. I guess I need to put a spoiler warning on this comment, since the quote sums up the last 10 chapters or so. Also, my premonition of a third act filled entirely with Carpathia meetings is looking to come true.

“In sports news, Major League Baseball teams in spring training face the daunting task of replacing the dozens of players lost in the cosmic disappearances. . . .”

Wait! No! I actually wanted to hear this one.

my JFK run Wednesday?”

I really hope this flight to JFK becomes a ticking clock in the third act. We need to get Buck and Rayford united by the end of the book, hopefully in some climactic action scene. I’m picturing some sort of surprise air attack on New York during one of Carpathia’s summit speeches. There’s been so little story so far, that LaHaye can introduce just about any conflict and it will make the same amount of sense. I’m hoping to get at least one scene of Buck trying to rush Carpathia away from danger, and then another of Hattie and Rayford hashing out their differences over the radio while also trying to land a plane with one good engine. And Chloe’s on the plane too; so when it lands, she has her come-to-Jesus moment, and she talks about how nobody knows how much time they have left. Presumably, then, she would also look to the audience, just to make sure we got it. And the final scene can be Rayford finally meeting Carpathia. “That was some nice flying there. How would you like a job working for me. Together, we can bring peace to the whole world.” Dun dun dun! BUT WAIT! There’s an epilogue: two shadowy figures are in a room. No names yet. They talk about how everything is going according to plan. That New York stunt was risky, but it’ll pay off. One of them is Jonathan Stonagal. The other: Nicolae Carpathia. DUN DUN DUN! Next page: “Left Behind: Tribulation Force — coming Fall 1996. Turn the page for a preview.”

“I don’t want to keep you long,” he said, “but I’m onto something deep here and wanted to share it.

Tell us about Pepe Silvia, Bruce!

Bruce pulled up the first blank sheet on a flip chart and showed a time line he had drawn.

Oh no, we’re in one of the sermon/timeline explanation scenes from the Thief in the Night series! It’s the exact same setup. Hopefully this takes less than 20 minutes.

this period of history we’re in right now will last for seven years. The first twenty-one months encompass what the Bible calls the seven Seal Judgments, or the Judgments of the Seven-Sealed Scroll. Then comes another twenty-one-month period in which we will see the seven Trumpet Judgments. In the last forty-two months of this seven years of tribulation, if we have survived, we will endure the most severe tests, the seven Vial Judgments. That last half of the seven years is called the Great Tribulation, and if we are alive at the end of it, we will be rewarded by seeing the Glorious Appearing of Christ.”

This will result in a great war, probably World War III.”

But we’re not ruling out other names

“I found myself wishing that guy was our president.” Several others agreed.

Carpathia has been in the news for a day, maybe two by this point.

the Bible predicts inflation and famine—the black horse.

Inflation? Which translation are you reading? The New Revised Capitalist Version?

Rayford was furiously taking notes.

the Glorious Appearing of Christ.

You keep capitalizing this phrase like I don’t know it’s the title of book 12

Several in the room began to weep.

This pastor is just getting started. These people are going to be suicidal if he walks through all the judgments in one sitting.

I don’t want to get into those tonight, but I warn you they are progressively worse.

So this scene played out EXACTLY like the scenes in the Thief in the Night movies. Specifically, A Distant Thunder ran through this exact set of judgements to prep the audience for the rest of the movie. Weird that it’s coming at the tail end of Book 1, but I guess we need to spread this stuff out over 12 books. So that makes sense. Wouldn’t want to get to book 10 and be like, “Wait, which of the bowl judgements are we on? Gotta check book 1...”

Revelation 11:3-14 makes it clear that God’s two special witnesses, with supernatural power to work miracles, will prophesy one thousand two hundred and sixty days, clothed in sackcloth. Anyone who tries to harm them will be devoured. No rain will fall during the time that they prophesy. They will be able to turn water to blood and to strike the earth with plagues whenever they want.

Again, it would be real nice if we had a POV character nearby to show us these cool events that are gonna happen.

Rayford glanced around the office as people murmured among themselves. They had all seen it, the report of the two crazy men preaching about Jesus at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. “Is that them?” someone asked. “Who else could it be?” Bruce said.

It could be literally anyone who has read Revelation and wants to fake this prophecy coming true.

Stanton Bailey, publisher of Global Weekly.

Matter of fact, I recommended Miller from Seaboard.” Plank recoiled and shot a glance at Bailey. “Really?” “Yeah, why not? He’s more the type.” “Buck,” Steve said, “Eric Miller’s body washed up on Staten Island last night. He fell off the ferry and drowned.”

Hey, an effective plot twist! That foreshadows Carpathia’s evil-ness while leaving wiggle-room for us to doubt. This is new territory for the book to tread.

“They think I’m too old. They thought Steve was too laid-back. Others thought he was too pushy. They’d complain if we brought in the pope himself.” “I thought he was missing.” “You know what I mean.

And another good line of dialogue. This scene is on a roll!

Plank, anybody else know about you?” “Only Marge.” “We can trust her. She’ll never tell a soul. I had a three-year affair with her and never worried about anybody finding out.”

This character needs to be in more scenes. He’s one of two characters so far that can have an entertaining conversation. The other one is that pilot from way back in act 1.

“See how tight-lipped she is?” He waited a beat. “I’m kidding, boys. I’m kidding!” He was still laughing as they left the office.

Woah, woah, woah. I take back what I just said about this guy. That’s not funny; that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.

“The world is ready for Carpathia, Buck. You were there Monday. You saw it. You heard it. Have you ever met anyone like him?”

Steve pressed his lips together. “Other than your writing and reporting, your instincts are the things I most envy.”

Other than these two sprawling things that encompass most of your job. This is like saying to a swimmer, “Other than your swimming and your breath-holding, your instincts are what I envy most.” Thanks for giving me no specific compliment.

“It was an ugly and dangerous confrontation for what many here are calling the two heretical prophets, known only as Moishe and Eli,”

How are these two global news? In the real world, these two would be glanced over like scraggly street-preachers.

“A heckler asked why they had not disappeared, if they knew so much. The one called Moishe answered, and I quote, ‘Where we come from and where we go, you cannot know.’

“He then spent fifteen minutes reciting slam poetry, while his partner mimed along to the lyrics.”

Buck knew Steve was right. He was going to have to accept the promotion just to protect himself from other pretenders.

“Oh, don’t put her down, Dad. What makes you any better?” Rayford felt awful. Chloe was right. Why should he think less of Hattie just because she seemed dim at times? That hadn’t bothered him when he had seen her only as a physical diversion. And now, just because she had been nasty with him on the phone and never acknowledged his last invitation to meet today, he had categorized her as less desirable or less deserving.

This is written like a satire of a misogynist, but we’re supposed to be 100% on Rayford’s side

You’re going to tell her you no longer have feelings for her, but that now you care about her eternal soul.” “You make that sound cheap.” “Why should it impress her that you care about her soul when she thinks you used to be interested in her as a person?” “That’s just it, Chloe. I wasn’t ever interested in her as a person.”

“She doesn’t know that. Because you were so circumspect and so careful, she thought you were better than most men, who would just come right out and hit on her.

“It’s not a pitch! Anyway, doesn’t it prove I care about her in a genuine way now?” Chloe went and got a soft drink.

Unintentional deadpan

You can’t assume she has any interest, especially if it comes to her as a sort of a consolation prize.” “For?” “For losing your attention.” “But my attention is purer now, more genuine!” “To you, maybe. To her this is going to be much less attractive than the possibility of having someone who might love her and be there for her.” “That’s what God will do for her.”

This scene is so baffling. Chloe explains to Rayford the subtext of his entire relationship with Hattie. Is it here for the audience, or is it supposed to be character development for Rayford? If it’s the latter, Rayford just comes off looking like a selfish doofus who can’t read social cues. If it’s the former, then I guess it’s for the audience members who can’t understand why someone would be resistant to the Bible?

Bruce Barnes had told him that most people are blind and deaf to the truth until they find it; then it makes all the sense in the world. How could he argue? That’s what had happened to him.

Hattie had rushed up to Buck when he arrived at the club around eleven. His anticipation of any possibilities dissipated when the first thing out of her mouth was, “So, am I gonna get to meet Nicolae Carpathia?”

The possibilities Buck was imagining were definitely between him and Carpathia, and now Hattie’s going to try to squeeze in and split them up.

Buck excused himself from Hattie, who looked none too pleased. Rosenzweig pulled him aside and whispered, “He wonders if you could join him alone first?”

“Hm, hm, hm,” Carpathia exclaimed, the least articulate Buck had ever heard him.

“Nobody is just anything,” he said, taking Buck’s arm. “Everyone is of equal value, regardless of their station.”

I was making a joke when I called him a communist earlier, but now I guess that’s a thing we’re getting hints at

Buck wondered if he had ever taken a Carnegie course on how to win friends and influence people.

Heh

Buck ducked

Is this a dumb thing to laugh at? Yes. Did I laugh anyway? Yes.