The Left Behind Complete Set, Series 1-12

by Tim LaHaye

Chloe and Amanda began to cry.

Drink

The Red Horse of the Apocalypse was on the rampage.

It always ends with a DUN DUN DUUUUN!

It was the worst of times; it was the worst of times.

START OF BOOK THREE. I love turning that first page in a Tim LaHaye novel. So full of mystery, potential. My eyes land on that opening sentence, and the hit of pure, concentrated LaHaye — it gives me a head-rush. The horror. The hilarity. All summed up so succinctly. Yep, this is gonna be a good one.

Rayford Steele’s knees ached as he sat behind the wheel of the rented Lincoln. He had dropped to the pavement at the crushing realization of his pastor’s death. The physical pain, though it would stay with him for days, would prove minor compared to the mental anguish of having yet again lost one of the dearest people in his life.

Oof. That knee pain though. Been there. Not fun.

Rayford felt Amanda’s eyes on him. She laid one comforting hand on his thigh. In the backseat his daughter, Chloe, and her husband, Buck, each had a hand on his shoulder.

I am very uncomfortable by the number of hands on Rayford. And did LaHaye have to specify thigh, when leg seems less sexual?

The Emergency Broadcast System station droned on with the news of chaos, devastation, destruction, and cell phone failure throughout the world.

Broad thing, broad thing, broad thing, and a specific thing.

incongruous traffic jams.

As opposed to harmonious traffic jams

“I need to get to the Chicago bureau office,” Buck said. “You can use the car after we get to the church,” Rayford managed.

Page 1, and the travel details begin

Rayford relied on his many years in the Chicago area to use back roads and side streets to get around the major thoroughfares, which were hopelessly clogged.

No fat will be trimmed in the editing of this book

Rayford wondered if he should have taken Buck up on his offer to drive. But Rayford had not wanted to appear weak. He shook his head. There’s no limit to the pilot’s ego! He felt as if he could curl into a ball and cry himself to sleep.

Men, am I right?

Rayford knew his life could be even worse. Suppose he had not become a believer in Christ and was still lost forever. Suppose he had not found a new love and was alone.

I guess this is the explanation for Amanda's sudden addition to the cast

Were it not for the physical touch of the other three in that car, Rayford wondered if he would have had the will to go on.

*Miscomfort intensifies*

He could hardly imagine not having come to know and love Bruce Barnes. He had learned more and been enlightened and inspired more by Bruce than anyone else he’d ever met. And it wasn’t just Bruce’s knowledge and teaching that made the difference. It was his passion.

I'm just happy LaHaye didn't end each description of brotherly love with "No homo." Even into book three, the unintended subtext lives on.

“All these nobodies-trying-to-be-somebodies think they have a better idea about where the traffic should go. If we listen to them, we’ll be here for hours. I just want to get to the church.”

Whom among us has not shared such a universal sentiment?

Rayford considered ignoring even that but thought better of it.

Sentence says the same thing twice

Buck Williams pulled his hand from Rayford’s shoulder and craned his neck to see two uniformed soldiers scampering down the embankment.

The use of "scampering" here is delightful. Like these soldiers are orphan street urchins in a Dickens book.

“Ray,” he said quickly, “I’ve got one set of phony IDs in the name of Herb Katz.

First new name in the book does not disappoint

The two uniforms now stood behind the Lincoln, one speaking into a walkie-talkie, the other on a cell phone. Buck decided to go on the offensive and opened his door. “Please remain in the vehicle,” Walkie-Talkie said. Buck slumped back into his seat and switched his phony papers with his real ones.

That was a quick and decisive offensive, Buck. It lasted a whole sentence.

“Wouldn’t you agree,” Rayford said, “that regardless who I am, we’re all in deep trouble?” Buck was amused at Rayford’s feistiness, in light of the situation.

If I put someone on the phone and tell the potentate it’s Rayford Steele, it had blamed better be Rayford Steele.”

"Blamed"??? Where is this guy from?

Rayford handed the cell phone to the second guard. “How will we get to wherever we’re supposed to go?” “A copter should be here momentarily.”

That's almost word-for-word what I named this category of the drinking game! Also, drink.

“What do you mean ‘when we were first married’? We’re still newlyweds!” “Shh!” Buck said quickly. “What’re they saying about New York City?” Chloe turned up the radio. “. . . devastating carnage everywhere here in the heart of Manhattan. Bombed-out buildings, emergency vehicles picking their way through debris, Civil Defense workers pleading with people over loudspeakers to stay underground.”

It's a twofer! A "Shut up Chloe" combined with a news exposition dump! Feeling tipsy yet?

It was like Chloe to worry about her home. Buck was less concerned about that. He could live anywhere and seemed to have lived everywhere. As long as he had Chloe and shelter, he was all right. But she had made their ridiculously expensive Fifth Avenue penthouse flat her own.

How does this book take the destruction of New York and turn it into Buck shitting on Chloe?!

Buck had never had patience for traffic jams, but this was ridiculous. His jaw tightened and his neck stiffened as his palms squeezed the wheel. The late-model car was a smooth ride, but inching along in near gridlock made the huge automotive power plant feel like a stallion that wanted to run free.

Out-of-nowhere characterization of Buck's car? Do I feel a... chase scene coming on?

In the rearview mirror Buck saw a mushroom cloud slowly rise and assumed it was in the neighborhood of O’Hare International Airport, several miles away. CNN/GCN radio almost immediately reported the blast. “This from Chicago: Our news base there has been taken out by a huge blast.

Buck literally just saw this, and still we hear from the news about it

We have so many reports of warfare, bloodshed, devastation, and death in so many major cities around the globe that it will be impossible for us to keep up with all of it. . . .”

You're doing fine so far. That was near instantaneous coverage of Chicago.

As soon as the car ahead gave him room, he whipped the wheel left and punched the accelerator. Chloe gasped as the car jumped the curb and went down through a culvert and up the other side. Buck drove on a parkway and passed long lines of creeping vehicles.

Car chase! Car chase! Car chase!

Rayford sat, gingerly massaging his knees.

Are Rayford's knee injuries going to be a plot point?

Radio reports continued from around the world with news of casualties and mayhem while Buck Williams and his bride careened on, speeding through yield signs and sliding around curves.

This sentence is a gem

a series of car dealerships comprised a ghetto of commercialism.

he saw what his favorite traffic reporter always said was “heavy, slow, stop-and-go” traffic all along Northwest Highway.

Favorite traffic reporter?

Leon Fortunato, a sycophant from the New Babylon office,

Carpathia’s eyes were ablaze, and he rubbed his hands together, as if thrilled with what was going on.

Surprised Carpathia didn't let out an evil laugh while he was at it

Still rubbing his hands as if he could barely contain himself, Carpathia turned to the guard with the walkie-talkie.

The man opened a canvas bag that seemed incongruous to Rayford. Apparently he had gathered Air Force leftovers for a disguise for Carpathia. He produced a cap that didn’t match a huge, dress overcoat. Carpathia quickly donned the getup and motioned that the four others in the room should gather around him.

Is there really a point in being physically disguised when you are the most famous face on the planet? And isn't it also kind of cowardly?

Rayford spoke up. “And that is in—?” Carpathia raised a hand to silence him.

See, Rayford, now you know how Chloe feels

“Hon, do you see no irony in your being offended by the man we’re convinced is the Antichrist?”

Another gem

Buck sat in the sales manager’s office of a Land Rover dealership.

Have you ever seen a car chase start, then pause so the heroes can buy a better car at a dealership, then resume? I think that's what we're about to see.

The sales manager, who had busied himself with paperwork and figuring a price, turned the documents and slid them across the desk toward Buck.

Nukes are falling, but that's not stopping this salesman from getting his commission.

Buck stood. “I suppose I am asking too much. Another dealer will be willing to go the extra mile to sell me a vehicle, I’m sure, especially when no one knows what tomorrow may bring.” “Sit back down, Mr. Williams. I won’t have any trouble getting my district manager to sign off on throwing in that little errand for you. As you can see, you’re going to be able to drive your fully loaded Range Rover out of here within an hour for under six figures.” “Make it half an hour,” Buck said, “and we’ve got a deal.” The sales manager rose and thrust out his hand. “Deal.”

Yep, take all the time you need for some bargaining. It's not like there was urgency or tension or anything that would be undercut by a scene like this.

She was shuddering.

That makes it sound ongoing, but a shudder usually lasts maybe a second.

He strapped himself in and looked apologetically at the pilot, who offered his hand and said, “Chico Hernandez,

“Compared to what you usually fly,” Hernandez said, “this will seem like a motorbike.” And that’s exactly what it seemed to Rayford.

Enemy aircraft, Rayford thought. There’s an interesting way to refer to American militia forces. He recalled not liking the militias, not understanding them, assuming them criminals. But that had been when the American government was also their enemy. Now they were allies of lame duck United States President Gerald Fitzhugh, and their enemy was Rayford’s enemy—his boss, of all things, but his enemy nonetheless.

This feels a little dog-whistle-y to me. Anyone else getting that vibe? Like, “Oh, I would never endorse a militia... unless it was a truly ‘Merican militia.” Just seems like there are better reasons to flip-flop on the concept of militias.

“Loud and clear, ‘Copilot’,” Hernandez said. And as if reading Rayford’s mind, Hernandez added, “This channel is secure.” Rayford took that to mean that no one else, inside or outside the plane, could hear their conversation. That made sense. But why had Hernandez said that? Had he realized that Rayford wanted to talk? And how comfortable would Rayford be talking to a stranger? Just because they were fellow pilots didn’t mean he could bare his soul to this man.

So much over-explaining

“Just about total destruction, I understand. We know for sure that the hangar where she was located was virtually vaporized.” “And the pilot?” “Earl Halliday? He was long gone by the time of the attack.” “He’s safe then?” Rayford said. “That’s a relief!

Actually surprised Earl wasn’t killed off, since he got to achieve his one and only character goal.

Rayford felt an ironic emotion rise within him.

Happens to me all the time.

“I’m not sure he trusts anyone,” Hernandez said. “If I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t either. Would you?” “Would I what?” “Would you trust anyone if you were Carpathia?” Hernandez said. Rayford did not respond.

Lol

“Do you feel like you just spent the devil’s money?” Chloe asked Buck as he carefully pulled the beautiful, new, earth-toned Range Rover out of the dealership and into traffic.

Buck wants to be a golden god, but he has a long way to go (https://youtu.be/Zr8YI9xaRNw). Also, why are vehicles given such loving descriptions all of a sudden?

“Chloe,” Buck said carefully, “look at this rig. It has everything. It will go anywhere. It’s indestructible. It comes with a satellite phone. It comes with a citizen’s band radio. It comes with a fire extinguisher, a survival kit, flares, you name it. It has four-wheel drive, all-wheel drive, independent suspension, a CD player that plays those new two-inch jobs, electrical outlets, you name it.”

Is this book sponsored or something? I hope the cast ends up living out of this range rover for a solid three or four books, given the survival perks Buck is listing.