Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead

by Tara Mohr

While we can often get into unhelpful rumination or worrying when we simply ponder a topic, when we write about it we move forward in our thinking.

ruminating on the risks and worst-case scenarios.

realistic thinking is inquisitive, exploratory, and highly creative.

Being accurate isn’t the aim of the inner critic; getting you to avoid emotional risk is. When

The inner critic can motivate you to be a meticulous worker bee, but it can’t motivate you to be a game changer.

these women grapple with self-doubt because they are playing big, regularly exposing themselves to criticism and visible failures and expressing their unique ideas and leadership in the world.

noticing and naming the voice of self-doubt

You are not the critical voice. You are the person aware of the critical voice.

name the inner critic

Create a character that personifies your inner critic.

create a character with a name and visual image,

the critic is not the core of you, it’s one voice, with its own personality and pathology.

“What are you trying to do right now? What harm are you trying to protect me from?” Once

respond with compassion toward the critic’s misguided attempt to keep you safe—usually

from attack, embarrassment, isolation, or failure.

the inner critic voice is a very afraid child misbehaving because of his or her terror.

Reassurance, love, and addressing the child’s underlying fears would.

When you spend any time arguing with the critic, the critic is “winning” because while you are busy arguing with it, you are not doing your thing, putting your voice out there,

step away from the conversation.

“Thanks, but I’ve got this one covered.”

it’s someone who works

you’ve noticed that your inner critic sounds like an internalized voice of a family member or professional colleague

Does your inner critic echo any external critics?

your inner critic has a few different voices. For

Kellie McElhaney, a professor at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business, talks about her two inner critics:

Coaches Training Institute.

Then, I put my inner mentor in charge and

The inner critic interrupts and invades our thinking. The inner mentor almost always waits to be asked for input before she speaks.

The inner mentor gives us a specific, vibrant, compelling vision so that we don’t have to depend on what we can see to prescribe what we can be.

there is a voice in each of us that is unburdened by fear and untouched by insecurity, that has utter calm, that emanates love for oneself and others, and that knows exactly who we would be if we were brave enough to show up as our true selves.

have made it a habit to meet my inner mentor for a conversation in the morning when I mentally prepare for the day ahead.

www.taramohr.com /pbbookmaterials,

Pachad usually leads us astray, because, by definition, it is the fear of threats that feel very real but aren’t.

I had so many fear-inducing experiences in P.E. as a kid that now even a game of volleyball

Tap into your inner mentor. When you feel afraid, nervous, or panicky about

Invite love in.

“May I be the representative of love in this situation. May I be the embodiment of love in the room.”

Get curious. Curiosity

so, what kind of reader?” It’s impossible for pure curiosity and fear to coexist in any moment;

Reconnect to your desire to serve. Your sense of purpose is bigger than your fear.

remember the people you are hoping to positively impact through what you are doing.

“Is there really any problem right now?” or, “What is the situation now?”

“If the bad outcome that I fear came to pass, then what? What would I do? If I send in the application and get rejected,

“then what?” over and over again puts you into panic about this thing (rather than sparking your resourcefulness), you have some deeper work to do on this fear! Check out tool #15 for this deeper work.

being utterly present to it. It’s

any kind of playing big

will bring both praise and criticism.

‘read too much’ in a particular situation .

Cultural focus on girls’ and women’s appearances. Girls grow up learning that how they look

how others perceive us is what matters.