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“What’s a lunatic?” “Someone who’s crazy and hears voices.” Caoimhe sighed. “That’s why Grandad drowned in the river when Dad was a kid. The voices told him to jump in.”
So she literally hasa hereditary mental illness and her family shit treats her like shit at 4 years old? Idk bout that
“I see things, too. When I’m sleeping. The monster comes to take me. It keeps pushing me down with its sharp nails—” “Lizzie, you need to stop talking,” she warned, covering my mouth with her hand. “Don’t ever say that out loud again.”
I hatethese people
“I bet I can get her to talk,” he said, tucking my hair behind my ear. “You can try.” Caoimhe scoffed. “But no doctor has been able to fix her.” “Would you like that, munchkin?” Mark asked, hand on my shoulder. “Would you like me to fix you?” Nodding, I smiled back at him. Yes, please.
STAY AWAY FROM HER
“What the hell are you doing?” Dad demanded, jerking up off the chair when I climbed onto his lap. “You can’t climb onto my lap without any clothes on.” He looked furious when he wrapped my towel around my shoulders and covered me up.
Shes fucking 5?? These people are so weird
It was late on Christmas night when my bedroom door opened inward, and Mark slipped into my room. I smiled when he locked the door behind him because that meant he was going to fix me again.
Im gonna fucking vomit
“So when’s your sister getting back from the hairdresser with Sinead?” Rolling my eyes, I gave Gibs a dirty look, even though I was secretly glad that he was back to his favorite topic. “Would it kill you to pretend I’m your favorite for one day?” “I don’t know, Hugh. I’m not that good of a liar,” he chuckled, and just like that, he was back to the
My thoughts were nice and slow. It always happened when I sat next to Shannon Lynch. It made me want to sit with her forever.
When Mark draped his arm over my lap to hold my sister’s hand, I shivered all over. He noticed and gave me the special wink. The secret one he saved just for me. For when he was fixing me.
Imliteraly goingto vomit
“I won’t,” I replied, pouring a dollop onto my palm. “Hey, do you ever wee red stuff?” “Ew, no!” Her brown eyes widened to saucers. “Do you?”
I cannot handle this
I wanted to scratch and tear and peel my skin off because it made me feel calm. But I wasn’t supposed to do that anymore. Because it was bad. The doctors said so.
His tone was gentle when he added, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
Why am i already gonna cry
I wanted to scream. I wanted to tear every picture frame off the walls. I wanted to run away as fast as I could. I wanted to… I wanted to… I wanted to keep looking into his eyes.
“No.” I shook my head. “You’re my only boy.” I felt my skin grow hot. “Only you.”
“I don’t think I like you, Lizzie Young.” He looked out the window when he whispered, “I know I do.”
“That was so badass,” Gibsie panted, climbing out of the bushes, with Patrick and Claire in tow. Jogging over to us, he slung his arm over my shoulder and laughed. “Lads, we have to keep this girl.”
Genuinely makes me so sadfor their future
“Then it’s official,” Hugh said, turning to smile at me. “You’re one of us now.” “I am?” “That means we keep each other’s secrets and stick together, no matter what.” My heart leapt. “No matter what?” “Yeah, Liz.” Hugh smiled. “No matter what.”
No matter what hits diff after T7
“Hey, munchkin,” he said, closing and locking the door behind him. My stomach sank. “What are you doing up so late?” “Reading.” A wave of panic swept over me, and I felt my body stiffen when he walked toward me. “Why are you here?” “I came over to keep your sister company,” he explained, coming to sit on the side of my bed. “She fell asleep on the couch, so I thought I’d come and check on you.” He was always checking on me. It used to be okay, but I wasn’t so sure anymore. I didn’t think I wanted him to keep checking on me. I didn’t want him to fix me again. Not ever again.
Sick to my stomach
Shivering, I clenched my eyes shut and thought happy thoughts. I thought of Hugh.
I dont think i can read this fucming book
Problem was, I seemed to lose all common sense when Lizzie Young was nearby.
“Because I trust you,” I told him. “You make me feel safe.” That seemed to confuse him because his brows furrowed together. “You’ll always be safe with me.” “I know.” I splashed him with my hand. “No matter what, right?”
When I reached the lounge and locked eyes on the familiar, dark-haired teenage boy sitting on my couch, with my sister on his lap, a wave of unease washed over me. I couldn’t explain why I felt so uncomfortable or why the hairs on the back of my neck shot up whenever I laid eyes on him. But it always happened. I felt like Peter Parker with Spidey senses, and mine told me that Mark Allen was not good. Not good at all.
GOOD
“Don’t sit on his lap,” I whispered back. “How come?” I don’t know. “Just don’t, okay?” “Okay.” “I mean it.” I held my pinky finger up to her. “Promise me.” “I promise,” she replied hooking her finger around mine before proceeding to curl up in a ball on my lap.
Literally saved her
“I don’t like baths anymore.” “Why not?” “They’re stingy.” He frowned. “Stingy?” I nodded. “Yep.” Confusion filled his eyes. “I don’t get stung.” I shrugged. “Maybe it’s just my bath.”
Im gonna crashout
Mark didn’t fix me this time. Hugh did. And he didn’t have to hurt me to do it…
this might be the most painful book ive ever read
“I want to be a cardiologist.” “And that’s a heart surgeon, right?” “Yep.” I pulled up on my elbows to get a better look at him. “Why?” “Because there’s too many broken hearts around here.”
I didn’t care about the unopened parcels waiting inside for me. All I wanted was Liz.
I knew she was trying to explain what was happening to my body, but I didn’t care. Because I didn’t like having a body.
I would find my way to her. If it was the last thing I did.
It was hard to explain the comfort Hugh’s presence gave me. He made it easy to be alive. I knew that was a strange thing to think, but it was how I felt.
“Ahh,” Liz continued to howl laughing. “He looks like Thor with his hammer!” “Did you hear that, Gibs?” Feely called out with a chuckle. “Lizzie thinks you look like a superhero!” Grinning wolfishly up at us, Gibsie winked and immediately starting flexing his nonexistent biceps. “Oh yeah,” Liz encouraged, cheering him on. “Show us those guns, Thor.”
Oh this origin story hurts
My sister labeled the color as dirty blond once, and while I had no clue about hair shades, I was sure Lizzie’s one was my favorite.
Narrowing my eyes, I glared at Mark, while mentally promising, One of these days, the grown-ups are going to see your true colors, and when that day comes, I’ll be right there to watch your fall from grace.
Wish this was true
“There.” Sitting back on the curb, I admired our handywork. “H plus L.” I grinned at him. “Together forever.” “Yep,” he agreed, draping his arm over my shoulders. “And in twenty years’ time, when we come back here to visit, we can show this to our kids.”
Please
“Gibs!” Mark barked, causing both of us to jump. “Come over here, fucker. I want a word with you.” Gibsie reached for my hand at the same time I reached for his, and I asked, “Do you want to come upstairs with me to get Claire’s bag instead?” Nodding eagerly, he fell into step with me as we bolted into the hallway, heading straight for the staircase at top speed.
Babies saving babies
“Are you okay?” I asked, feeling worried. “Yeah, I’m…” Breathing hard, he held a hand up and momentarily focused on his breathing until it evened out. “I just hate that guy.” “You do?” He offered me a clipped nod. “I’ve never hated anyone before, but I truly hate him.”
Ok so why is lizzie so fuckming mean to gibs then
“I haven’t told anyone else,” I whispered. “Not even Hugh.” “Me either,” he whispered. “Not even Claire.”
UGHHHHHHHH
“Hey, Lizzie?” “Yeah, Gibs?” “You sure you’re okay?” “Yep.” Smiling, I reached up and brushed a tear from his cheek. “I’m always okay, Gibs.”
Kms
“If something is upsetting you, then it matters,” he replied, keeping his whiskey-brown eyes locked on mine. “It matters a lot to me.”
“I love you, Lizzie Young.” Guilt and hope bloomed in my chest, making me feel both excited and devastated all at once. “No matter what?” “Yeah, Liz.” He leaned in close and pressed his forehead to mine. “No matter what.”
I knew Liz was gorgeous, but her appearance could never hold a flame to her mind. The fact of the matter was she both challenged and intrigued me to the point where I was wholly invested in her.
“I’m warning you, Baby Biggs.” Laughing, Patrick reached out and pushed her float away. “If I go under, I’m taking you with me.”
Why is patrick and claire a cute idea
The first time I took a knife to my skin was last spring, and it was the result of an accident peeling an apple. The slice of the knife through my fingertip brought an instant onslaught of pain and blood. But it also brought a strange sense of clarity.
My weapon of choice became the blade, and my flesh became the battlefield, where I waged an internal war on the parts of me that couldn’t be healed.
“You are a strange and terrifying female,” he mused. “But an unforgettable one.”
A shiver racked through Gibs, and he reached for my hand, squeezing it almost as tightly as Lizzie did when this creep was around.
:(
My thoughts raced so wildly that not even the medication put in the back of my throat could tame the beast awakening inside of me. I wanted to take off all my clothes and feel the sun on my skin. I wanted to peel the skin from my bones, strip by strip, until everyone could see how impure I was on the inside.
This made me squirm
It wasn’t the first time either one of us had witnessed Gibs faint from the sight of his own blood.
Kms
“Call her a bitch one more time and you’re going to find out how much on her side I am,” I warned, squaring up right back at him. “And if you ever think about putting your hands on her again, I’ll take the head clean off ya.”
“Lad,” Feely chuckled, nudging my shoulder with his as we watched Liz walk toward us. “I don’t know if I’m in love or in fear for my life.” I could only hope it was the latter for Feely because I was fairly sure I was stuck on the former.
“Raise a man, expect a man.” A smile ghosted my lips before adding, “But if you need a baby boy, I reckon you have another three years with Gibs before he cops on.”
