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Maybe you can know a person too well, and your relationship starts to break apart in the midst of familiarity.
Almost like there’s so much anger within me, there’s no room for anything else. Just anger and her.
Those blue eyes swivel up. “Are you sad, Asher?” Only when you are.
When her hand slides closer, her fingers interlocking with mine, I feel I might explode into a million little pieces. I think this must be what death is like, and I wonder how she’d react if I told her.
Dying doesn’t seem all that bad. Not if it’s like this. Not if it’s with you.
“A library is a place of worship,” he told me at one point, and I often wondered if that was why we didn’t go to church. If my parents found religion within the pages of these bound masterpieces.
and the people here will forget I ever existed.” Impossible, I think, gritting my teeth. No one could ever forget you.
I don’t have to worry about anything, because I know you’re there.” Throat burning, I look away, down at my lap. I don’t know what to say. Use me. I don’t fucking mind.
She tastes like cherry lip balm and booze. I hope I remember the flavor combination for the rest of my life.
But at the end of the day, I’m a coward. My anger bleeds too heavily into every other emotion, and I’m afraid it’ll stain her too.
Fear and anger are driving forces that seek the same thing: complete destruction. I just let them fuck everything up.
He hesitates. “Does it matter?” “Yes,” I say softly. “It matters to me.” How can you even ask that?
You’re on your own, Lucy.
But it sounds stupid, even spoken silently in my head. Asher doesn’t need anyone, so why would I expect him to understand? What am I supposed to do without you around?
He moves forward, his shoes crushing the leaves on the ground. The sound is loud, drowning out the ocean past his house. He drowns out everything. I can still feel the intensity of his mouth on mine, covering the world as I knew it a week ago.
He’s as terrifying as he is intriguing, and I hate that. I hate that I’m going to miss him.
My shoulders slump when I realize I’m really alone out here, no longer able to celebrate with the one person I wanted to. Some fucking birthday.
“The world is your oyster, but you’ve barely even begun to see it.” “Which means you can still use the guidance of those older than you,”
“Tell me what you wanted from him then,” Asher whispers. “I’ll do it for you instead.”
Some sick, desperate part of me—stuffed way down where I can never really hear her—had been hoping he’d come of his own volition.
I would have crawled on hands and knees to my death for Lucy Wolfe.
Learning to be human and interact with my peers has been enough of a struggle my whole life without adding my over-the-top parents into the mix.
It always feels like I’m trying too hard or not hard enough, and I’ve never been able to strike a balance. I’ve spent my entire life watching, absorbing, and mimicking, only to feel like a total fraud anyway.
Being left alone is so much easier when your existence makes others uncomfortable,
Would it have been so horrible to stay and comfort me, even if I turned him away? Would trying to make me feel less terrified have been that difficult?
“But the point of life isn’t to just get by. There has to be structure. Order. Otherwise, we descend into chaos.
“Well, that’s too damn bad. I didn’t ask what you wanted. I asked how you felt.”
“All I have ever done was tell you the truth, Asher. And all you’ve ever done is punish me for it.”
His hold on me vanishes, like I’ve burned him—yet somehow I’m the one in pain.
The idiotic part of my soul is hopeful I’ll see beautiful blue eyes.
“I do,” he says softly, his hand sliding over my forearm, squeezing tight. He’s still facing the wall. “Please, Lucy. Stay.”
Lifting my hand, I gently brush some black and red hair from her face. A knot forms in my throat as I revel in the softness of her skin. I’d go to the ends of the earth if she asked me to.
Her eyes sparkle in the early morning light, ocean waves I want to dive deep into and drown in.
“Have you…” She trails off, her teeth snagging on her bottom lip. One of my eyebrows arches, interest swimming through my veins. “Have I what?”
She’s silent for a moment. “I was drunk.” “Not that drunk.” “That was years ago.” “I still think about it.” A tense beat of silence pulses between us.
“And if I told you I’ve never touched another girl the way I wanted to touch you that night, among those ridiculous fucking flowers? Beneath the stars?” My grip on her tightens, and I inch forward so our breaths mingle. “That I’ve never even thought of being with anyone else that way?” Glassy blue eyes meet mine. “Then I’d say you’re a liar.” “Not right now I’m not.” Exhaling a shaky breath,
spilling onto my lap like an overlooked drink.
“I…” She blows out a shaky breath, licking her lips. “I don’t know how. Where do I…” “Anywhere, pup. Explore to your heart’s content.”
“Is that…” My jaw works from side to side, and I glance past her, white-hot embarrassment coating my insides.
“Just from me touching you like this?” she asks, and I note the furious blush staining her cheeks, her nose, crawling across her neck. Like she feels every bit of what I do. I nod. Just once. Just a small confession.
I’ve never seen anything more fucking beautiful than Lucy Wolfe on top of me, using me for her own pleasure. I could die happy right here, right now, even if this was all I ever got.
“Ash…I’m…I think I need more…” My eyebrows shoot up,
I watch, rapt, as she arches her back, sitting up straighter to grant me access.
my eyes roll back in my head when I feel damp panties, rough against my skin,
Her hand moves beneath the T-shirt, and I make a noise low in my throat.
Panting, she looks at me and reaches for the hem, slowly—fuck, so fucking slowly—lifting, baring one breast to me. My parched stare drinks in
The way she drags her thumb over the peak, strumming in a way that makes the pulse ...
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As soon as she cups herself, kneading her breast and letting out a low sound of desperation, I’m gone,
The guttural groan that emits from my throat echoes in the room, and as I shift my hand, pressing two fingers against her clit, she seems to follow suit, releasing her breast to grasp my hip and squeeze tight.
I stare up at the ceiling, euphoria dancing with something dark and unidentifiable in my chest. “That was—”
