Wild Card

by Elsie Silver

with Bash, every insecurity evaporates. With Bash, all I see in his eyes is love.

“About fucking time.”

Fun and light and so fucking addictive. I look her over, knowing that she’s exactly what I’ve needed. I’ve been living with a dark shadow covering everything around me, and along comes Gwen, peeling it away, letting all that light in.

Omggggg

I feel better about myself than I ever have, but hearing Bash talk about my body like this? It’s addictive. It’s healing.

Where my father found faults, Bash only finds beauty.

“If you think I’m going to stand here and let you talk about her like that, you’ve got another thing coming. So watch your damn mouth.”

our foundation will always be off-kilter if you can’t at least try to work this thing out. You both need to untangle this massive knot. If you don’t, it means we could spend the rest of our lives together, but I will always be the person who ruined this for you. I’ll be the thing that came between you and the possibility of what could have been. It means that you can’t just run and not talk to him. You can’t shut down when shit like this happens.”

“Man, sometimes you have the emotional intelligence of a gnat, and quite frankly, so does he. Must be hereditary.”

I think you’re it for me, but I’m not spending a lifetime with you tiptoeing around these subjects.

I can’t change it and I won’t be made to feel guilty for it for the rest of my life. I have apologized. I have shown up. I have chosen you at every turn and you throwing that history in my face just to avoid facing your own feelings isn’t going to cut it. I won’t tolerate it.”

“Believe it or not, I know the feeling. Tabitha and I weren’t always so clear-cut. I was used to keeping everything to myself, second-guessing everyone around me, never trusting a single soul. And then, you meet that one person who makes you want to break out of your shell. Who it’s worth taking those risks for. Who…without them, you’d stay on the same miserable path. Never improving, never changing, never becoming a better version of yourself.”

“Sometimes when you’re paralyzed like that, it’s not because you don’t know what to do. It’s because you know exactly what to do. You know what’s right, but it scares you. It’s not indecision. It’s being grown-up enough to know that the world doesn’t revolve around you. There’s so much in there at play.”

“I think if you weren’t a little scared, you’d probably be stupid. And you’re a lot of things, Bash”—he holds his beer up now, clinking it against my glass—“but stupid is not one of them.”

“Don’t let her get away,”

“Everything from my Maya is in that house.”

Everything feels terrifying. Everything feels fragile.

I’m heading home. I’ll be here waiting for you.

“Dude, go. I got this. You have zero game. If there’s a girl who actually likes you, you need to go find her.”

If they need a clear path to get her out, I’ll make one myself.

Eaton

Oh my godddddd

“Hi. I’m Beau.

The second he sees my truck, he goes from pacing on the spot to gunning for me. Bash pushes his way past the cars and weaves past the barricades the second we slow. My eyes sting as I watch him run to me. Strong, stoic, and fucking frantic. The minute I’m close enough to the barricade, I throw my truck in park and open the door, leaving the engine running as I step out onto the asphalt. Within seconds, he’s there. In the flesh. Right in front of me. Reaching for me. Yanking me into his arms as I wrap my own around his neck. He crushes me against him so tight, it takes my breath away. I don’t even mind. It’s the perfect reminder that I’m alive. I breathe him in. And while the air smells like smoke, he smells like him. He smells like the forest, like trees and amber and gasoline and home.

“You’re a fucking wild card. Unpredictable and never what I expect. You scare the hell out of me every damn day. But today more than any of them. Because I thought I lost you.” His voice cracks. So does my heart. “And I love you, and I hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell you.”

Crying

He loves me. There’s nothing showy about it. It’s not some big declaration, it’s not poetic or flowery, but with him it doesn’t need to be. Everything with him is dressed down. Beautiful in its simplicity.

We both have a hero complex,”

He grounds me. I breathe him in. I breathe my anxiety out. I breathe him in. I breathe my doubt out. I breathe him in. I breathe my fears out. Because with Bash at my side, nothing feels as terrifying.

It’s one of the many, many things I love about her. A zest for life. A glass-half-full attitude. Her passion for making margaritas out of limes. She has the special gift of making everything around her better. Including me.