Alchemised

by SenLinYu

Remembered that she’d been placed there as a prisoner, kept preserved, but someday, someone would come for her.

She had to endure. To stay alert. That way she would be ready. She had to stay ready. She would not let herself fade away.

What is it you think you’re protecting in that brain of yours?”

There’s no one left for you to save.”

She couldn’t see his face, only his other hand, which bore a dark ring that glittered in the low light.

“You know,” Ferron said, jolting her from her thoughts, “when I heard it was you I’d be getting, I was looking forward to breaking you.” He shook his head. “But I don’t think it’s possible to exceed what you’ve done to yourself.”

“I promised I’d do anything for you.” She curled her fingers into a fist. “Maybe you didn’t realise how far I was willing to go.”

Ferron usually wore nothing, not even a wedding band. The only piece visible was a slender, dark metal ring on his right hand.

A wave of loneliness struck so sharply, she gave a heaving sob and almost burst into tears anyway.

“Do I know you?” she asked as her eyes slid closed. “I suppose you do.”

She didn’t want to see him again because she had a very clear memory of pressing her face against his hand without any idea of who he was.

Ferron’s lips remained pressed against Aurelia’s, but as he kissed her, he raised his eyes, and his gaze locked onto Helena’s face.

“You sound as enslaved as I am.”

“It wasn’t blind. I chose him,” she said. He stepped back, and something about his expression sharpened. “Did you? Remind me, how many other choices were there?”

“You irritate my wife,” he said. “Seems I do,” she said blandly. “If you want to do something about it, you could kill me.” He snorted, amusement lighting his face for an instant.

“Why don’t you die?”

“Prior commitments, I’m afraid.”

“Shall I tell you everything I’ve done?”

A question rose to her lips, and she felt as if it was vital that she ask. She leaned forward, trying to see his face. “Do you want to?”

“Is there really a difference between having someone die for you and killing them?”

“Ferron always comes for me,” she whispered.

Ferron said nothing, but he draped his coat over her shoulders, covering up her ruined dress.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said in a tense voice. He took her by the shoulders, turning her towards him. She knew he wouldn’t. He only hurt her on certain days, and this wasn’t one of them, so she sat very still.

“Well, you—you have a natural talent for it. In another life, you could be a healer.”

You can say you left briefly and—” She knew the instant she misspoke.

He looked strangely mortal. She wished he didn’t.

She was trapped forever in winter, in the season of death.

“Oh, Marino.” His thumb trailed along her neck, following the scar below her jaw. “If I’d known what pain you’d cause me, I never would have taken you.”

“But at this point I suppose I deserve to burn. I wonder if you’ll burn, too.”

Ferron appeared in front of her. “What’s—” She stared at him wildly. “I’m waiting—I promised I’d wait—”

“I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the Eternal Flame. That isn’t a threat. It is a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them.”

“The reason we believe in you is because if you’re not good enough, then no one is.”

Her mouth snapped shut, and she didn’t know what else to say; nothing ever seemed to be right.

I want you to turn it into an obsession that consumes him.”

“I swear it, on the spirits of the five gods and my own soul, Kaine Ferron, I’m yours as long as I live.”

“Are you wanting a confession? Shall I tell you everything I’ve done?” She stared into his mocking eyes. “Do you want to?”

“I thought your mind would be the biggest danger to me, but it turns out you’re somehow still a walking liability.

“Did I—did I d-do something?” “You exist, Marino. I think that’s reason enough.”

You’re sacrificing things you don’t even comprehend the value of.”

A southern ritual had no place in the North, but she’d given everything for the war, and it had not been enough.

would see if I could make it loyal.” “And if you couldn’t? If a monster can’t be made loyal, what would you do then?”

“Don’t die, Marino. I might miss you.”

“I realise you consider me a complete monster,” he bit out. “But I do generally keep my word. I’m not planning to hurt you.

“Are you more afraid of thralls than you are of me? I’m actually offended.”

“Fuck off,” she said. “I didn’t know you could swear.” He sounded amused.

But she was so lonely.

She couldn’t fix herself anymore, and no one else seemed inclined to even notice she was breaking.

His full attention was blistering.

“if anyone had told me you’d become so lovely, I would never have come near you. I was rather blindsided when I saw you again.”

“You’re like a rose in a graveyard,” he said, and his lips twisted into a bitter smile. “I wonder what you could have turned into without the war.”