Alchemised

by SenLinYu

“I remember your hair. Is it still the same?” She flushed. He would remember that, of all things. “Unfortunately,” she said. “Like you, then,” he said, twisting the curl so it wrapped around his fingertip, “trapped in place, but still the same somewhere underneath.”

She reached towards him, not sure what she was doing but wanting to pull him back from wherever his thoughts were taking him.

He said nothing else, just staring as if mesmerised.

“Why are you crying?” he finally asked. She smeared at her cheeks with her hand. “Because I’m lonely, and kissing you, and you don’t even like me.”

You’re being driven by the guilt over crimes you never committed, that you think you deserve to suffer for, and that’s making you a liability for me.”

“Lila Bayard is not the only person that the Resistance would suffer greatly for losing.

“Why aid us, then?” she asked. “If you don’t think we can win.” His expression grew mocking. “Don’t you think you’re worth it?” “Oh yes, your rose in a graveyard,” she said, lip curling. “Was the array for me, too?” “Who else?” he asked, his voice empty, just a touch of irony in it.

“Don’t die, Kaine,” she said.

A smirk twisted his mouth as he looked at her. “There are far worse fates than dying, Marino.” She nodded. “I know. But that one you don’t come back from.” He gave a bitter laugh. “All right, then, but only because you asked.”

“I can’t let you die.”

“Well, that’s the basics. If there’s anything you’d want added to the kit, or ideas you have, I can try to make them.” “The basics?” He pulled a watch out of his pocket. “You’ve been talking for over an hour.”

Happy solstice. I hope your days grow brighter.”

“I must say, Marino, you’ve ended up being quite expensive.”

“I assumed that if you had to choose between the two of us, you’d want him.”

No matter how you’ve romanticised him, Kaine Ferron is not a person. He is a monster.”

Luc or Kaine? She could only save one. She had to choose Luc, but it was going to kill her to do it.

“How did you know I was here?” He levelled her with a hard stare. “I keep an eye on this place.”

The ice in his hair had melted into tiny droplets of water that trembled, glittering like stars on his face.

“I’m afraid that someday I’ll come, and you—you won’t be here.”

“You always have to come back,” she said. “All right? Don’t die. Promise—”

“Marino, what’s wrong?” He tried to step back, but she wouldn’t let go.

“Nothing! I just spent a lot of time making that medical kit for you, and I did spend an hour teaching you how t-to use it, so—I think it wou...

“All right…” he said, “but only because you asked.”

He was always cruellest when he was vulnerable.

He wavered a moment and then something broke inside him, like a dam bursting, and Helena was drowning in him.

But his eyes… She could tell— He was hers. The realisation broke her heart.

“I can’t care for someone again. I can’t take it.”

I can’t choose you. There’s too many people at stake,” she said, her voice shaking. “I know.”

“What happens to you?” “When you’re—gone?” He gave a short nod. “I don’t know,” she said with a short hysterical laugh. She pulled away. “Like you said, I’ve always been expendable, so maybe they’ll offer me to the next spy.” “Don’t joke. I want a real answer.” There was a sharp undercurrent to his voice.

“What do they want?” His voice was almost a whisper. She looked back. “What?” “Is it—actual crawling? Or was there something more constructive Ilva had in mind?”

“Find out. I’ll do it.” He looked exhausted,

“Why are you offering?” Her voice rose, a note of hysteria in it. He looked up at her a moment. “I realised just now that I’d miscalculated something. It hadn’t occurred to me that I’d made you marketable.”

“I’ve spent a year working on the logistics of replacing you…I must admit, you are the most exceptional asset the Eternal Flame possesses. And I am sorry for that.”

I’m sure Ferron won’t let anything happen to you on the landing.” The muscle in Kaine’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t speak.

“Kaine, I—” “Don’t—use my name. I hate the way it sounds on your tongue.”

How nice it must be, to be a god.

all my family, I only have pieces of them left.”

“You want me to look at you?” His voice was light, almost cajoling, but there was fury beneath the surface. He leaned towards her. “Fine. I’m looking. I must say, it’s delightful, seeing all the guilt in your eyes.”

“After all, I did choose you.”

She deserves to have someone who cares enough to try to keep her alive.

right now all I feel is a new set of manacles.”

“So forgive me if I dislike looking at you. I’m still adjusting to the ways these new ones chafe.”

It was Kaine. She’d never seen him fight. He’d never really fought with her. But she knew. There was no mistaking that brutal efficiency.

Bodies fell like stars. He stalked through the water towards Helena. Not a step wavering, cutting down everything that crossed his path.

It wasn’t combat, it was slaughter.

When he reached Helena, his eyes were burning with rage behind his mask, glowing bright as molten silver. “You idiot,” he said, and dragged her up out of the water, crushing her hard against his chest.

As he worked, he began telling her each time he was about to touch her, what he was about to do, his voice low, calm, and she realised he was imitating the way she used to narrate her treatment of the array.

“And if you’d died?” He looked up, his eyes glittering with rage. “There’s plenty of people to replace me. I’ve always been expendable, remember?” She used her elbows to sit up. “I need you to fix my hands now.” The strain showed around his eyes. “I know.”

He was so gentle. She recognised the technique. She hadn’t realised he’d paid attention.

“You could be a healer,” she finally said as he removed the block on her nerves. She flexed her hand, opening and closing. It was still sore, and fragile as though hairline-fractured. “You have a natural talent for it.” “That’s one of the most ironic things anyone has ever said to me,” he said quietly.