Alchemised

by SenLinYu

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

She glared at him until he was satisfied that she had no poison hidden anywhere and left again with a slam of the door.

“You’re a monster.” He raised an eyebrow. “Noticed that, have you?”

“You know,” Ferron said, jolting her from her thoughts, “when I heard it was you I’d be getting, I was looking forward to breaking you.” He shook his head. “But I don’t think it’s possible to exceed what you’ve done to yourself.”

“I’ll tell you if you swallow it like a good girl.”

“Who are you?” she slurred through her teeth. Myriad emotions flashed across his face. He opened his mouth, then shut it firmly.

“You’re full of surprises.” “Do you say that to every girl?” The words popped out thoughtlessly.

“It’s impressive how determined you are to be difficult.”

“I will die before I lose her,”

“The Undying. You’re his source of power, and the Resistance—we figured that out, didn’t we? How to kill him. How to kill all of you.”

She tried not to notice. When she couldn’t help it, she tried not to care.

“She’ll never be yours.”

“Ferron always comes for me,” she whispered.

Ferron will come. Ferron will come.

He tilted her face up towards his, and his expression grew horrified. He touched her cheek and held her face as he drew several deep breaths.

“Look at me. I need you to stay calm and tell me how to fix this. You know how to do it.”

“What else do I need to do? How do I fix it?”

“Good, we’re getting somewhere, then. Now what?” He wanted to do more?

Ferron said to the servants, all of whom had been frozen in place, inanimate while Ferron’s full attention was on Helena.

If you ever go near her again, or speak to her, or so much as set foot in this wing again, I will kill you, and I will do it slowly, perhaps over the course of an evening or two. That isn’t a threat. It’s a promise. Now get out of my sight.”

“It’s not tonight,” he said abruptly. “I’m told”—he was still not looking at her—“you won’t be fertile for three more days.”

She had been imprisoned and violated in almost every way imaginable, and now he would inflict this final atrocity upon her, but he was worried about her eyesight.

She didn’t stop until she was hollow, as though she’d sobbed out everything inside her and now the only thing left was a shell. She was so tired of existing.

“Close your eyes,” he said.

“Breathe,” he said near her left ear.

It was beautiful, and it felt like a betrayal.

“Breathe,”

“Helena,” he said softly.

His expression was one of utter despair, but as he stared at her, a look of starvation filled his eyes.

“If I’d known what pain you’d cause me, I never would have taken you.”

The moment their lips touched, he crushed her body against his.

He wasn’t kind; he simply wasn’t cruel.

“Don’t—don’t.”

“I would rather spend the rest of my life being raped in Central than spend a minute of it having feelings for you.”

“Let me be very clear, then. I don’t want you. I never wanted you. I am not your friend. There is nothing I want more than the moment I’m finally done with you.”

“Breathe.”

“Come on. You have to breathe.”

“Keep breathing, that’s all you have to do. You breathe,”

“I don’t trust you to be conscious right now,”

“Nothing will happen to it. You have my word. Calm down.”

“Stay…please…stay.”

“He wants you, Marino,” Crowther said. “Both now and after the war.”

“Ferron was quite specific that you have to be willing.”

“Promise?” he asked.

“I swear it, on the spirits of the five gods and my own soul, Kaine Ferron, I’m yours as long as I live.”

“Do you say that to every girl?”

“A symbol of our relationship,” Ferron said, and when she looked up sharply, he raised his right hand to indicate a matching band on his index finger.

“You don’t ever summon me. You burn me, ever, and this deal is off. I’m not a fucking dog. If you want me, you can come here and wait or leave a note, and I’ll get around to it when I have time.”

“You don’t even want me. Why did you ask for me?”

“You think you’re better than us because you’re immortal, but you’re dead inside already.”