Alchemised

by SenLinYu

This was his attempt at giving her what she wanted. For him, acknowledging that he would have a child, a daughter, meant acknowledging that he wouldn’t live to meet her. He was telling the stories so Helena could tell their daughter about him, about what he’d been like, before the Institute and the war.

“Enid is a good name,” she finally managed to say, her voice hoarse. “I like it, too.”

“I don’t want to choose. I always have to choose, and I never get to choose you. I’m so tired of not getting to choose you.”

“Did you know, you are the worst promise keeper I have ever met?”

“Which of us has hands steady enough to build a bomb?”

“I know.” He said it gently. “And if anyone could, it would be you. But I would like to say goodbye to you before you’re gone, and you are losing yourself in this.”

“This was ours…” She swallowed, blinking hard. “They took it from us, but it was ours.”

“After everything, you’ll risk it all on this?” he asked. “If it saves you, it’s worth it.”

“She very much remembers you. Howled for half the day when you arrived.”

“We’ll go out together, won’t we, old girl? Bennet’s last two monsters.”

“I used to have so many dreams for us,” she said, voice thickening. “When I’d worry about you, when I’d do things I didn’t want to, when the war felt so heavy that I was sure I’d break under it, I’d tell myself: Someday you’re going to run away with him. Somewhere quiet. You won’t ask for very much, just you and him, and that will be enough.” A lump welled up in her throat, and she shook her head. “That was all I wanted. It was my whole dream, to see what we could be away from the war. I thought it would all be worth it for that.”

“Why is it that I have to keep all my promises, but you never seem to keep a single one of yours?”

“You already told me all this yesterday. You know, I do make a habit of listening when you talk.”

“Helena—Helena, breathe. Look at me. I’m going to be careful. I’m not going to let anything take me from you.”

Look at me: I trusted you, and you got us here. It’s your turn to trust me.”

“Helena, look at you. You have broken yourself into pieces, over and over, because of me, and you don’t seem to understand that it kills me. Living is not worth it to me if you’re the one who keeps paying the price for it. Let me fix what I can.”

“Are we really safe?” “We are.”

“Every day. I’ll choose you. That way you’ll know it’s still what I want.”

“Love isn’t as pretty or pure as people like to think. There’s a darkness in it sometimes.

“Pity someone didn’t kill her,”