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He pulled me back and looked down into my eyes. “You could give the nigga the world, and he’d still want another planet. This not on you, Bleu… you were perfect.”
Recommendation: Listen to “Tonight (Best You Ever Had)” by John Legend ft Ludacris
Don reached back and touched my leg. I squeezed him, letting him know that I was alright.
🥹🥹🥹🥹
There were never any skyscrapers in Brooklyn. There wasn’t a WholeFoods and Apple store. Flatbush had always been home, a place where you could find a million vendors selling everything from incense to belts, and costume jewelry.
A little girl was in the back of a car waving, and he waved at her, and she got so giddy in the backseat as we flew past her mother’s car.
sooo cute!
I was assuming my nickname had gone from Bleu to Pooh, because this was the second time he called me it, and I wasn’t mad about it. Hearing this hardened man call me Pooh did something for me.
Landon turned around and stood in front of me. He held my chin up and kissed my lips before pulling away and looking into my eyes. “Opening up to people is hard for me. I don’t do that shit and avoid anything real because that means I have to be real. Transparent and true with the person I’m letting in. With you, I want to be all of that because your presence makes me want to. Navy, you introduced me to your family, so I felt it was only right to show you a piece of mine.”
oh landon 🥺
“Where did this Pooh come from, Landon?” I stood with my hand on my hip and then looked at the bed. “Saw some nigga making a video on how he think you dope and wanting to shoot his shot… called you Bleu.” “A lot of people call me Bleu on the internet.” “Exactly. I’m not fucking everybody, and when it comes to me… you not everybody. Not everybody calls me Landon.”
😭😭😭 now i see how menace and don are related
My heart ached hearing him explain that this was what felt like home to him. He had a full-on penthouse with the most lavish of furnishing, and this small single-family home in a decent neighborhood was what felt like home for him. His safe space.
Recommendation: Listen to Mirror by Neyo
okay freaky deaky 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
“Don, what you doing?” she moaned, as I slammed her back down onto my dick, and she gasped, scratching my chest. My hands remained on her hips, squeezing them while she bounced up and down. “Open your eyes, Pooh… let me see you,” I grunted.
I stared up at her at the same time she looked down at me and I saw it. That look. It was the same look that I had been given any time I found myself in this position. The same look that forced me to cut all ties with any woman that gave it to me. A look that I couldn’t afford to ignore because I couldn’t give them what they expected.
I’ve never been the type to throw claims on pussy, but this one was mine. I couldn’t allow another nigga to feel what she was making me feel. The looks that she gave me, as her lips parted while she begged for more. I’d fuck around and wipe a nigga’s grandmama’s account clean and put the family’s house in foreclosure fucking around with mine.
the alpha male coming out of him!
“What you want me to tell you, baby?” The word baby on her lips felt so fucking good. I don’t know how it was possible for me to be even harder, but a nigga was. “Say it again for me.” “Baby.” “Again.” “Bayyybeee!”
The sound of banging pots and pans, and the smell of bacon, pulled me out of my sleep.
she got some good dick and is making breakfast? A WIFE!
Her standing in the kitchen, the smell of breakfast being cooked, and the warmth that lit up the house had me feeling overstimulated or maybe overwhelmed. Either way, I pulled the drawer out in the kitchen and grabbed a black and mild.
my baby overwhelmed with emotions 🥺
I never pretended to know the shit he went through or the pain he carried. There was so much that I knew Menace had and wore on his back that he would never talk to us about. Kora was his secret keeper. She knew more about him than me and Zoya, and I wished he opened up to me. He was so hardened.
Seeing Navy downstairs cooking, bringing life back into this home had me slightly emotional. It reminded me of times when Zoya would be doing her homework at the counter, I would be at the kitchen table while Kora and Angelica cooked dinner together.
“If we’re being honest, I’ve been single the last two years… I was in a relationship, but single at the same time. When me and Antwan got together, we were young, so he never courted me. Even as we got older, there was never flowers, dates, or any of that because college was the focus. Landon, I would like to be courted.”
Navy could get me to bark like a dog in the middle of traffic if she asked me. It was how innocent she looked at me, as if she didn’t know if she was asking for too much. I had never had to put in the effort when it came to a woman. It never took much to get whatever I wanted from a woman, because they were right there wanting the same thing. This was different. It felt different to me.
I knew early on in life that I never wanted to have children. While Greene was obsessed with baby dolls, always toting them around, I never played with them. The thought of being a mother to something, even a fake doll, irritated me. I always knew that I wanted my life to be about me and only me. You couldn’t do that when you had children.
not everyone in this world is meant to have children
I’ve been from doctor to doctor since I was twenty, and each doctor denied me. They told me they wouldn’t even consider removing my tubes until I had at least one child. Some even went as far to mention how I was unmarried, and what if I found a husband that wanted children. The hypotheticals were more important than what I wanted as a grown ass woman. My hypothetical husband had more rights than I did, and that proved to me how fucked America was. I filed complaints on both doctors because why would they ever play me like that?
no doctor should even be saying those kind of things to a woman who is willingly wanting her tubes tied.
“Mommy, what are you doing here?” “If you thought I wouldn’t have come to this appointment, you’re nuts. This is important to you, so it’s important to me.”
avril is so supportive i wish all mothers were like this
“He’s been calling me like crazy so we can talk and I’ve avoided him.” My mother kissed my head. “You don’t have to answer to him at all. However, for closure, hear what he has to say and let him hear what you have to say. No screaming and hollering, just words and letting him know how you feel… then move on.”
“Are you gonna ask me about future hypothetical husbands?” I sulked, knowing that question was coming next. She sat with her hands folded over the file and looked at me. “Why would I ask about what a man wants with your body?”
THANK YOU! oh my god like it’s HER body! no man’s opinion should alter that decision since he’s not carrying the baby
“Understandable. I have women come into my office and ask to get their tubes tied without children all the time. I am supportive of women knowing they don’t want to be mothers and protecting themselves from ever becoming one. Navy, you are pregnant.”
OH SHIT—
“Your pregnancy test came back positive.” “God, no!” I screeched, as my mother held my hand.
i did not expect that to be honest wow
I looked at her. “How can you be so calm or understanding when I made an appointment to kill your grandchild?” “Because you are my baby. I’m worried about my baby, not the baby inside of you. I never want you to be anything that you don’t want to be. Having a grandchild at the expense of my daughter’s feelings and well-being is not what I want.”
To be Caribbean was to know that no matter how hot it was outside, you were gonna have some soup. It didn’t matter that it was nearly ninety degrees outside, my mother was going to make soup, and I was going to eat it because it was normal to us.
story of my life 🙄
Recommendation: Listen to “Player’s Prayer” by Lloyd.
The horn pulled me out of my thoughts as I came out the corner store. I looked at the Escalade confused until the window rolled down. Antwan’s ugly ass face appeared, and I wanted to scream. Alright, he wasn’t ugly, but everything about him right now was ugly to me.
what his ass want now?
“You admit to cheating on me and getting your bitch pregnant and got the nerve to say I’m playing games. Antwan, you can suck ya mutha!” He took a deep sigh. “My moms, Navy. She not doing good.”
oh geez
“How the fuck am I supposed to go on without her?” His voice cracked, and I looked over at him. This wasn’t my ex-boyfriend who had broken my heart, this was Antwan. The boy who always came onto my block and wanted to show off how good he was when it came to playing ball. The same Antwan who would see my mother carrying groceries and take them from her. Ms. Benita had attended my fifth-grade graduation because my mother had to work and couldn’t take off.
before anything they were friends first
One day you were eating ice cream on a stoop and your biggest problem was what movie you would watch before bed. Then you were shoved into adulthood with bills, big problems, and bad decisions. “Shit fucking sucks.”
you ain’t never lied
“I’m sorry, Nav.” “No, you’re not. I didn’t come with you to discuss our past because it doesn’t matter anymore.” “It matters.” “How?” “Cause I can’t just turn off loving you, Navy. I think about you all the time and wish I could rewind time. Make things right with us and have that life we always wanted.”
nah the life YOU always wanted
“Every fucking bitch wants kids and marriage… to an NBA player.” I mushed his head. “I’m not every fucking bitch and that’s where you had shit fucked up at. Ant, I get my own money and take care of myself. You so pressed by the bitches that wanna be in your pockets, counting money you don’t even have yet. Take me back to the block.”
but she’s not all bitches so he can dead all that shit
“You know that she isn’t your daughter, right?” “Why you want me to toss you up in the back of this whip?” he asked the question like he didn’t just threaten to fuck me up back here. “I pay for her private school, health insurance, dance classes and anything that she wants to do. I’m sending her to coding camp this summer. Her deadbeat ass father in court trying to act like he doing shit.”
YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE CORLEON DON’T PLAY
She came around the counter, placing everything into the sink. “You hate my baby, Landon?” “Stevie, what?”
she’s been around menace too long 😵💫
“Daddy will kill anybody that complain about you crying. You cry until your lungs hurt, Dennis.” My brother was leaned over a bassinet with his back turned.
“Who is Dennis?” “My fucking son. You don’t give a fuck about your nephew?” he asked, and I shook my head because all these fucking names had me confused. Stevie was Wanda. Menace was Mitchell. Now I had to deal with Dennis.
Corleon did this soft bounce thing while he held the baby. “I can’t wait to have another one.” “Another one?” He shot me a look. “You said he didn’t make my god daughter?”
jesus menace is nuts bro 🤣🤣🤣
I didn’t have the driver drop me home, I came straight here because I wanted to see her. Not seeing her for a few days and knowing something was off, didn’t feel right. Fuck a shower and sleep, I needed to see what was up with my Pooh.
She chuckled. “I don’t know much about you, but I would love to. Getting to know you, means knowing where you come from. Your family. As you can see, we’re a tight knit family and when we accept you, you are family.” “Word?” “Word,” she mocked. I chuckled. “I would like that.”
his found family🤧
Beans chuckled as he choked back his smoke. “She got you like that?” “Yeah,” I said without hesitation because that was the truth. Navy had me wanting to go out my way for her, not because she had good pussy, but because of the way she was. She never expected the shit, so it made me want to surprise her.
Pulling her chin so she could look me directly in my eyes, she tried to look away. “I wanna be your boyfriend, fiancé, and husband, Bleu. May seem like I’m bullshitting, and I couldn’t possibly know. I fucking know.” “How?” she softly questioned. I took her hand and placed it on my chest. “This knows. I don’t feel like this with everybody. When we come back, I want you and your parents to meet my family.”
ahhhhhhh my loverboy 🥹🥹🥹
“Whatever you want, it’s my job to provide and make that happen. You asked me to court you with roses and shit, but Casellis don’t court that way, Pooh. Trips, diamonds and anything you fucking want from me is my way of courting you.” Navy smiled at me. “And I’m not a gold digger in your eyes?” “Where the fuck you pulling this shit from? I’m handing you the shovel… dig, Bleu.” I winked, and she kicked her feet excited.
Big bro’ needed to realize that I was coming into my own, and a grown ass man. I was taking Navy away, because that was what she needed. I wanted to be everything she needed, and I planned to be.
SHE DON’T WANT A LIL PUPPY SHE WANT A BIG DAWG!
Recommendation: “Never” by Jaheim
Ever since Landon collided into my life, I didn’t make enough time to read. My page dedicated to my reading had been neglected, so I planned to get reading in on this trip and update them in real time. All my campaigns that I needed to shoot were handled so I was free for the week.
yeah girl gotta update on that goodreads 😭😭
“The thing is, I never cared about the damage I caused. I’m always honest about what I want, never leading women on. It’s the reason I never feel bad because they set those expectations while knowing what I wanted with them. You… Pooh, you fucking different.” “How?” “I give a fuck about hurting you, Navy. The thought of me doing you like I’ve done in the past makes my chest hurt, because I never want to hurt you… I ain’t never felt like this before. You didn’t just open yourself up to me, but your family. Fucking accepted me like they have known me for years.”
🤍
