More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
And why the fuck were we the only two people here? Why the fuck had I bungeed alone all three other times in my life? My head hammered again. I care about you. I want you to be safe. Please don’t fuck anyone that makes you uncomfortable. It’s going to kill me if it kills you.
If she wanted to dive headfirst, I was going to dive right behind her.
So I pointed at the sun ascending in the horizon. Just as the darkened sky began to lighten. “Keep your eyes there.” Her green ones flickered to me before following my finger. Her pulse picked up speed. “And what happens when it disappears?” I would’ve loved to tell her that it never would. That no matter where we were the sun would always be present. But it wouldn’t have been true. The only thing we could count on was that the sun would rise again. “Wait for it to return,” I told her.
As we slowed—hanging upside-down, spinning some—we met each other’s gaze. She wore this honest smile that I hated to see leave. “Thank you,” she panted, out of breath from excitement and adrenaline. “For what?” “For doing this with me,” she said, “so I didn’t have to be alone.” It was then. That I fucking knew how much I really understood her. How much I related to the loneliness in her eyes. I felt closer to her in a way that I couldn’t articulate. It wasn’t physical. Or mental. It was spiritual, something I couldn’t shake. I nodded a couple times, and she practically radiated. As though she
...more
And I fucking thought, thank God. Thank God the sun will rise again.
Without hesitating, he starts fixing my hair. I cross my arms over my chest. The last time I was this close to Connor Cobalt, I punched him in the face. It was as complicated back then as this is now. I don’t hate the guy, but never in a million fucked-up years did I think I’d let him play with my hair.
Connor is practically gloating. I’m seconds from shoving his chest, but he wouldn’t purposefully make me look worse—not today. Not for this. We may not always seem like friends, but we are. We’re probably better friends than most. And why do I even care this much about hair?
I’m afraid of watching the people I love get hurt. I’m afraid of hurting the people I love. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, I’m going to fall into one of the two.
me. Six-foot-three with a darkened gaze, scruffy jaw, and brooding brows—he’s utterly handsome. The kind of handsome that screams danger, yet I know his heart is soft and warm and a place I always want to be.
When his eyes finally lock on mine, I pretend to appear perplexed. “I don’t think we’ve met before.” He almost smiles, which makes mine grow wider before I take another taste of ice cream. “Are you fucking sure?” He steps closer, only a few feet apart. “Because I have a girlfriend who looks a hell of a lot like you.”
Two people who weren’t allowed to love each other. Two people who now unapologetically do.
“And then I met you,” he says huskily. He holds my face with his large, calloused hand. I really love those hands. He pauses to gather his thoughts, and the longer he takes, the more my eyes begin to well. “I made your life crazy,” I whisper. He nods like it’s a good thing. “Yeah, Dais. You made it fucking crazy, and I’ve been so crazy in love with you.”
“I go two days without seeing you, Dais, and it fucking kills me. I never thought I’d love someone this way.” His hard eyes almost soften. “I never thought I could, but you’ve made me love my life more than I ever fucking have. I can’t even imagine spending the rest without you.”
He says affectionately, “You’re my family, Dais. And if it’s only the two of us in the end, I’d be just as fucking happy.”
“Will you fucking marry me?” My smile widens. “Yes.” There is no other answer in my heart than this one.
I go quiet, stunned by the unique design. Rectangular diamonds form rays around a circular, yellow diamond. It’s the sun.
If he opened the door to anything, I’d start with stop degrading women.
“Your theory about donuts sustaining the population of Mars was so senseless that I’ve been stunned to silence.” “Thank fucking God,” Ryke says, his arms crossed as he stands beside me.
My grip tightens, fisting his shirt. “One-hundred-and-fifty miles per hour. No brakes.”
The fear inside my brilliant, unabashedly confident sister almost knocks the breath out of me.
Rose glares. “This isn’t a normal risk. This isn’t jumping off a roof into a pool. If you get pregnant and something happens, you’re gone. Game over.”
“I have a daughter and a wife now,” he says, “so I’m going to do you the courtesy and tell you what I would tell them if they were in your situation.” Ryke’s muscles flex and coil, his jaw tightening. I’m not sure I want to hear Connor’s opinion either, even if it’s filled with wisdom. “You’re making a mistake,” he says flatly. “Both of you are.” Ryke seethes beside me. They’re nearly the same age, and even though Ryke isn’t a certified genius, he’s worldly, intelligent and the one in love with me. Connor directs this next statement to Ryke. “You view risks as tape you can tear through and not
...more
Ryke Meadows endures all things like he was born to last forever.
“How’d you make it into this world on two fucking feet?” The girl never stays still, never stops. I shake my head. I love her, every minute of the day, and she doesn’t even realize, doesn’t even see how much.
Maybe now, more than before, it really fucking sinks in. She’s my sister. It suddenly means something more than it did, connects me to another person in a more meaningful way. Still, it’s all uneven and fractured and rough as hell. I’m not sure how the knowledge would affect her, if it’d change her perception of me. Make it worse between us.
Garrison groans. “No, she’s a virgin. Good God, it’s like tuning into five different radio stations at once when I come here. Don’t you all ever get tired of each other?” “I’m mostly tired of you,” Lo slings back, a shot right to the fucking head.
“What do you mean together?” Lo retorts. Connor sets his arm behind Rose on the loveseat. “They mean it in the colloquial sense. They’re an item, going steady, boyfriend-girlfriend, baes—”
“We have rules,” Lo starts. “Have fun,” Lily declares, her smile overwhelming. She’s predicted this relationship a couple of times, but no one really wanted to talk about its possible fruition. Now here we are. “No, not have fun—what the hell, Lily?” Lo gawks at his wife.
“It’s just nice being able to blame some things on a curfew or an overprotective brother.” Loren Hale. Who would have known?
“What’s the point of speaking up when no one hears you?” It broke my heart.
I stepped closer to her. “The fucking point is for people to understand that you have opinions, that your voice counts, and if they don’t hear you then yell louder.” Her eyes flitted to mine, and I said deeply, “Never give up or back down on the things that fill your soul, Calloway. There is no worse life than a hollow one.”
Hey, little brother, I think before I face a twenty-five-year-old with amber daggers for eyes and steel blades for a jaw. Dressed in all black with features that fucking kill, he could be the devil’s son. In some ways, he is. In other ways, so am I.
“I’m better than you fucking look.” He raises his glass in bitter cheers. When he takes a sip from the empty glass, he mumbles, “Jesus Christ.” “This is yours.” Connor appears next to Lo with a full glass of ice water. My brother sets his empty one on a passing tray. “Appreciated, love.” Lo takes a sip. Of course he didn’t offer me a fucking glass. I don’t expect Connor to give me anything other than a hard time.
“You showed up.” His calm voice instantly heightens my aggravation, his whole unruffled, arrogant demeanor always grating on me. “Color me surprised.” He doesn’t sound remotely surprised. Connor Cobalt looks bored.
“Moffy?” Janie says hopefully, looking up at her dad. We all stare down at her, and Connor’s kid tugs at my fucking heart when she claps her hands, giddy for her cousin’s appearance. “Moffy isn’t here,” Connor tells her in his usual calm voice. “Moffy!” she giggles, not understanding. My brother is smiling more than he does in a year’s time. He catches me staring, and he glares. “What?” “I didn’t say a fucking thing.” “My son is cool. The baby genius thinks so.”
“Why do you have to inflate his fucking head?” He could have left out the word “genius”—even if Janie is a little advanced for her age. “Because I like his face.” Lo flashes me a smile.
Lo stands more between us, trying to separate the tension. “Is that why we kissed?” He touches his heart. “I thought you loved me. After all this time.” Connor smiles. “Always.”
All the guys follow my gaze to their respective girl, but none of us head over there yet. We’ve always had this unspoken agreement for years. Let the Calloway sisters have time together.
To Lily, a taco bar is a great prize. Probably because it’s something that Loren Hale would love too.
As our laughter dies down, I stare past his shoulder, noticing all four guys watching us. Ryke nods to me and mouths, what the fuck? I mouth back, I love you. It makes him smile. It makes me smile more.
“There was a time where I tried to contain you from what I imagined was harm’s way, but you helped me realize that I can’t bottle lightning.”
“Of course you had no reason to be there,” she says. “You were rightfully let go without charge, and I had to surrender what I believed was a loss. My daughter was yours, and there was nothing I could do.”
“I’d forgotten that you can’t bottle lightning anymore than I can,” my mom says. “She chose you, and it took me time to figure out why and how you both fit together. Why are you the one man who’s good enough for my daughter?” My heart is in my throat. “Then, one day, I realized that you are lightning. You can’t be bottled or contained anymore than she can. And together, you both make a beautiful, perfect storm.” She raises her champagne glass. “To my daughter and her husband-to-be, I hope you only know true happiness.”
have to tell you straight out.” He’s an expert at communication in our relationship, always making sure nothing is lost in translation between us. So that I understand where he’s at mentally. Even when it sucks to hear it so bluntly.
I’ve never wanted to sit, to stay still, and add these little pieces of me together: the days where I ache to feel alive, to switch a light on inside of myself that’s burnt out. The days where it feels impossible to do just that. The days where I can stand on the precipice of life and death and not bat an eye if I just…jumped. There is a war inside me, where storm clouds roll over the sun and no matter how far I run, no matter how far I leap, it just grows colder and more numb. I hate feeling empty, but worse than that is the emptiness that can’t be filled.
Rose has adapted to motherhood like she does everything she loves. With determination, passion and poise. I hope I’m able to do the same. Adapt and conquer.
“You’re not going to give me your shirt too?” It’s lighthearted enough to cool my boiling blood. Lo’s reddened eyes flicker to me like it’s okay. It’s not. I don’t like seeing him hurt, not even for a fucking millisecond, and if it had to be someone, I’d rather it have been me. “Next time, darling,” Connor says. “I just had this dry-cleaned.” He passes him the water bottle. “We’ll meet you at your place.”
know this promise is lofty and seemingly impossible, but I’d do anything for her, for my family. Lily once told me that she’d “go down with the Raisy ship”—and even though I rolled my eyes, it’s how I feel every day of my life.
watch Daisy pull off her helmet and shake out her hair, a smile already pulling her lips at our location. Up north. About five hours from the city. Our bikes parked in the middle of the forest. The weather is clear. The sun is out. I’m with a girl that I fucking love. I inhale this moment, however simple, for all its worth.
I’ve never found a passion, not like Ryke, but observing his carries me to new heights. I’d never seek to take the place of rock climbing in his heart. What a shame it’d be, to lose this moment. It’s so special. Passion. Love. Happiness. Seeing it all—being a part of it—is more gratifying for me.
