Devil May Breathe (The Devils of Vitality)

by Chani Lynn Feener

Talk to him? Like they had as kids? Sitting in the dark, confined to the quiet and all alone? Why? What good had those talks done then?

“We’re going to discuss the tracking device you placed behind my ear in a bit,” Zane said, speaking directly against the curve of Pavel’s ear in a way that sent vibrations humming all throughout his body. He pressed the sharp edge of the blade against his nape to ensure he was aware it was there. “No sudden movements, gorgeous.”

OHHHH???

“Is this,” he pursed his lips, “revenge then?” Pavel went still at the hint of hurt in the other man’s tone. No matter how angry he was, he never wanted to wound Zane that way. “Gorgeous, let me up.” “No.”

“You lost all of your memories prior to the adoption,” Pavel finished. “But that doesn’t matter to me. I’m still upset with you.”

“What were we to each other?” Zane held him firmly against the table. “We were children.” “You were mine,” Pavel stated, “and I was yours. It was simple—it is simple because nothing has changed. You still belong to me, and I still belong to you. Which means if you want to slit my throat here and now, you have every right to do so. I won’t even try to stop you, bashert.”

“It means you’re my person,” he explained. “When we were kids, you were my best friend, the thing I wanted to protect the most. When we were teenagers and reintroduced, you were my horny teenage wet dream. Now that we’re adults, and we’ve been reunited, you’re my lover. We’re soulmates.”

“That is the cheesiest crap I’ve ever heard.” “That’s only because you aren’t very romantic.” “It’s because I don’t believe in stuff like that,” Zane corrected.

“Bashert doesn’t mean soulmates in the way you’re thinking,” Pavel chose to reply, instead of answering his question. “I’m not like plain Hexans. Part of what I am, part of whatever concoction makes me, has this instinct to form a lifelong bond. When we were little, I chose you.”

Zane was silent for a moment and then, “So—” “When we met again,” he cut him off, knowing exactly what he was about to suggest, “I chose you again. This was always my choice. You were always going to belong to me.”

“And where is my choice?” Zane pressed against his arm, causing pain to shoot up to Pavel’s sh...

“You can throw your little tantrum, break my arm or slice my throat, it won’t change anything. After you’re done, once you’ve calmed down, you’re still going to be in t...

“What position?” Zane asked, ignoring the command. “Tell me. What position am I in, Pav?” The nickname was like a cold balm in the middle of a burning desert and he almost moaned at the sound of it. It’d been so long since he’d last heard the other man call him that. By a name Zane could no longer even recall having said before.

“What if I say I want to leave?” “You’re allowed to say anything you like.” “…But you have no intentions of letting me go.”

“You claim this isn’t about revenge. What’s it about then?” “I already told you,” he said. “I want you.”

“In what capacity? Wait.” Zane held up a hand. “Don’t answer that. Let’s just take it slow.” “I want you to be mine forever.” He paused. “That isn’t very slow.” “It’s what you need to hear.”

“Why’d you put a tracking device on me?” It was impossible to tell by his tone alone if he was upset or not about that. “In case you tried to run,” he admitted. “Peace of mind. If I don’t know where you are at all times, I panic a little.” “That’s…controlling,”

“I would never prevent you from going anywhere. You can move about as you please, nothing there has changed.” “Except now you can locate me at the push of a button.” “It was never difficult to find you before,” he said. “I can always find you, Zane.”

“And when you get tired of me?” “I won’t.” “And when I get tired of you?” Pavel scowled. “You won’t.” Zane eyed him for a moment. “I’m not making any promises.” “Y...

“I haven’t decided,” Zane replied. “I get the feeling it would only further complicate things.” “I won’t give you up.” “So you claim.” “I won’t.” “Prove it then.”

“All right,” Zane agreed. “You fail and I get to walk away. From here on out, we only interact if I want to.” Which meant they wouldn’t interact ever. More than half the allure was being chased.

“When I win, I get to touch you whenever I please, wherever I please. It doesn’t matter who else is there, you don’t get to stop me or tell me no. You give yourself to me, completely. You let yourself be mine.” “For how long?” He shifted on his feet, the only sign he gave that he was uncertain all of a sudden. Too late for that. “Forever.”

“If, gorgeous,” he corrected, “and you wouldn’t be changing things if you were confident that you were going to.” “I win,” he stated, “and you have to leave me alone for six months.”

He looked breathtaking. Like everything Pavel had ever dreamed of, used and satiated. Spent and lax and sitting naked in his living room while the moonlight and the glitter of the city outside danced across his skin.

He leaned in, warm breath fanning against the curve of Pavel’s ear. “If you want to own me, gorgeous, you’re going to have to do a lot better than that.”

Or maybe she did and she simply didn’t care. Either way, she’d single-handedly chipped away at all the safe places in Zane’s life, until there were only a rare few he could escape to where her eyes couldn’t follow.

They’d known each other as children? Did that mean Pavel was obsessed with someone else? A version of him that no longer existed? That didn’t have a hope or a prayer of ever seeing the light of day?

If that’s what Pavel was hoping for, if that was the real reason he kept coming around… He didn’t want Zane. He wanted an idea of him. Wasn’t that the same as being a second choice? How had he managed to come full circle all over again?

Hell, he’d been confident enough he could win, he should have stuck to his initial demands and made it so Pavel had to leave him alone forever. But he hadn’t. He’d caved. Which meant some part of him was growing attached to the other Devil, and that was a serious problem for multiple reasons.

What he needed was far away from this room. Why was leaving and finding Pavel the first thing to come to mind when he thought about walking out? It’d been his choice to put distance between them. He couldn’t be second-guessing himself already… Could he? Damn it.

He couldn’t possibly miss Pavel’s attention. It was crazy and controlling, and— Hot. Super fucking hot. Damn it.

Zane might have the attention of multiple people, but it wasn’t strictly the attention he was after. He could never be Lyra or Wells everything. Which meant neither of them could fill the void inside him.

Pavel claimed that’s what he wanted to do, but after discovering their past…Zane wasn’t so certain he could trust him. Still, the fact that it’d only been a week and he already missed the insufferable stalker had to mean something, even if that something wasn’t something he wanted to admit to.

Really, it was no wonder he’d had no idea Pavel took classes there, how could he have? They never would have run into one another in that location since he remained firmly in the same two buildings. Still, it irked him that Pavel was right about him not knowing anything about him. About him not having seen the other man at all these past years.

The stint in the art room had also forced him to acknowledge an important truth. He wanted Pavel Hart, not slightly or maybe, but one hundred percent. Zane didn’t like the fact that other people got to view him, while he was forced to stay separated.

So much for wanting to own him more than anything. Soulmates?

No one would bother putting a tracking device on someone they weren’t desperate to keep tabs on, right? Someone they didn’t desperately want?

Was it sick of him to like it? To feel comforted by the object that’d been inserted into his body against his will? Sure. But knowing that didn’t stop the sweeping of relief that soothed his growing anxiety whenever he touched it, just to make sure it was still there.

What could Pavel give him that she couldn’t? What could Pavel give him at all?

All she ever did was talk about herself and expect him to roll over and kiss her feet for how generous she was. He often wondered if she knew he could see through her. If she knew that he merely played along. If he had to guess, the answer would be yes.

She didn’t like Zane. She just disliked the idea of him ending up with someone else.

“Pavel isn’t Kazimir.” “In what way?” Besides the obvious, of course. “That’s simple.” She patted his bare chest once. “You’ve never looked at Kazimir the way you looked at Pavel in that video.”

“He doesn’t believe me.” Pavel had known there was a good chance of that happening. “He’s only ever been used and abandoned by the people in his life. He doesn’t trust anyone could want him for forever.” “He’s afraid?”

Pavel shook his head. “It isn’t fear. It’s disbelief. He can’t comprehend it, so he’s pushing me away and waiting to see how I’ll react. If I give up on him, I prove him right and he’ll go back to his everyday life. But if I don’t, he’ll start letting down his walls and allow himself to start considering me as a potential mate.”

It was the D’vitar that kept him even remotely grounded. They were a species that mated for life, naturally seeking out their soulmate, or bashert, the person with an energy pattern that would sync nicely with their own.

The problem lay in the fact Zane was not D’vitar. Hexan’s didn’t have the same connections or urges and could marry and divorce on a whim. That wasn’t the type of relationship he was after, but convincing Zane to hand himself over for a lifetime was proving trickier than he’d hoped.

Pavel could give him exactly what he’d always yearned for. Shouldn’t that be enough? He would provide family, purpose, and longing. There was nothing and no one he wanted more than Zane, and he was willing to remind the doctor of that every single day for the rest of their lives.

“I haven’t,” he reassured. “It’s only been a handful of times.” Ledger looked like he wanted to scold him but sighed. “I won’t lecture you, brother, but remember, you’re not invincible.” “I also can’t survive without my bashert,” he stated.

“I was going to say complicated. You can have anyone you want. Why does it have to be him?” “It just does.” It wasn’t a good reason, but it was the reason nonetheless. Plain and simple. “It’s always been him for me.”

The second we were within ten feet of each other, I felt it snap into place.” It’d felt like that piece of himself had been waiting all that time, yearning for Zane.

The same way he was never going to be able to let Zane go. “You’re mine, Doctor,” he whispered.