Devil May Breathe (The Devils of Vitality)

by Chani Lynn Feener

“You want to have sex with me. That’s all. A sexual relationship is—” “I want you.” He dropped back against the glass chair. “I want all of you, but you’re too closed off to let anyone in that way. I bet Kazimir can count on one hand all of the personal things you’ve told him over the years.”

“I know you,” Pavel stated. “I see you. You’re desperate to be needed, but you don’t trust anyone will actually invest their time and energy into you. Despite your loneliness, you prefer surface-level relationships because it’s safer. This applies to friendships as well. If you’re the one who draws that line in the sand, you feel like the distance between you and others is your choice. I don’t just want to breed you, Zane. I want to connect with you through more than just my cock. I want everything you are and everything you’ll ever be and more, and I want all of that to be mine.”

There’s no good reason for you to be distracting my best and brightest—” Pavel held up a finger, effectively cutting the professor off. “I’m not liking the usage of the word my there, Professor.”

“No, I—” Zane stopped himself. Why was he defending himself? “Who I sleep with is none of your business.” “Want to rethink that statement, gorgeous? While I’m being generous?”

“That’s different,” he disagreed. “Wells could get to touch you by order of the Imperial Heir. They’re treating you like a thing they pass between them, which they cannot. You might be a belonging, Doctor, but you’re mine, no one else’s, and I sure as shit won’t tolerate another person’s hands marring your perfect form.”

His chest was tight and he had the unmistakable urge to flee, as though there was danger nearby. “I’ll only say this once,” he stared down at Pavel, the words rushing out of him. “I am not interested.”

“I knew you’d be too afraid to be real with me, so I’m easing you into it, gorgeous. Don’t worry, I only said all of that just now because you looked like you really needed to hear it. I don’t want you thinking this isn’t serious. It is. I am.”

“I’m going to mess you up so bad, Zane Solace. And then, when you’re finally open to it, I’m going to teach you what it means to be truly cherished.”

“Getting there,” Pavel said, then met his gaze. “You’re not resisting.” “Is there a question in there somewhere?” The corner of his lips twitched. “But you’re still a brat.”

I want,” he nipped at the curve of his jaw, “to screw you up so badly, you won’t be able to tell what you're desperate for the next time, me or oxygen. You know what happens then?”

“Your subconscious can no longer tell the difference, and you’re left feeling breathless and desperate for just me.” He shoved Zane back under and fucked into him a few times before dragging him back up. “Answer the question, gorgeous.”

“You're mine, Doctor.” He started to kneed Zane’s ass. “Aren’t you starting to feel it?”

He was on his side, facing away from the window with one of his pillows clutched tightly against his chest as though he was dreaming about cradling someone close. If he was dreaming about Kazimir, Pavel would lose his absolute shit.

“I don’t belong to anyone.” That whispered statement Zane had made in the pool room days ago kept coming back to Pavel randomly. He wondered if the doctor even realized how sad he’d sounded when he’d said it.

Pavel felt a rush of giddiness sweep through him as he entered the walk-in closet, eyes closing as he inhaled deeply, practically growing hard from the onslaught of Zane’s scent. It was spicy and floral, with notes of beach wood. It was a scent that hadn’t changed, no matter how much the person it belonged to had.

Everything about his bashert was. Everything about him was meant to be cherished and prized and honored. That was part of the reason Pavel was even here, switching out items, bettering his baby’s life one stylus at a time.

The fact that Zane entertained scum like Wells and Lyra seriously pissed him off, and Pavel felt his eyes begin to glow as he set his sights on the sleeping form turned away from him. It’d be so easy to slide into bed with him and— No.

Oh. Zane appeared at the top of the steps leading from the path to the lot, momentarily scanning the area before his eyes landed on Pavel. That. He wanted that.

When he finally pulled back, only allowed to move away an inch or so with Pavel’s strong hold on his neck, his face was flushed and the tips of his ears were bright red. “What was that for?”

His eyes lingered on Pavel’s mouth, almost as if he was debating whether or not to kiss him again.

“Professor Diar is watching,” Pavel informed him quietly, certain he’d made a mistake when that instantly had all of the lust written on Zane’s face draining away. “Why are you so afraid of him, gorgeous? You could overpo...

“It’s not fear that I’m feeling.” He pushed Pavel off and settled back in his seat, refusing to look at him, quiet a moment before adding, “And if I told you, would you kill...

“Don’t put yourself out.” “For you?” He shook his head. “Never. It’s never a hardship to share with you, Zane. I’m glad to do it.”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “What do you want to talk about?” “You.” “Not my favorite subject, but all right.” Zane’s head turned toward him. “What’s your favorite subject?” “You.”

He laughed. “It’s only my favorite when I’m stalking my favorite subject, which is still you, gorgeous.”

“Fantastic at stalking, maybe.” Zane quieted for a moment and then in a quieter voice asked, “How long have you been doing it? How long have you been following me around?” “Since you arrived on planet,”

“What? I’ve always known what I want, gorgeous. There was never any question of that.” “Then why wait so long to tell me?”

“Kazimir got you first,” he explained. “And then there was Lyra.” “So you just…let them have me?” Zane seemed really annoyed by that. “You couldn’t have wanted me that badly then.”

“It is,” Pavel insisted. “You didn’t want Samuel. You wanted Kazimir and, at least for a time, you wanted Lyra. If I’d known things had gotten bad with them sooner, I would have acted sooner, but you’re rather spectacular at keeping your secrets close to heart, gorgeous. I’m many things, but a mind reader isn’t one of them.”

“Bet that eats you up inside, doesn’t it?” Zane rested his arms on the table and leaned in closer. “If only you could read my mind, the stalking part of your day would be a whole lot easier.” “You’re teasing me.” He grinned. “I like it.”

Oh, so he was a fan of his and not Zane’s? Interesting. Poor thing. “That’s never—” Pavel found himself hauled up by the collar of the coat, Zane only giving him a second to blink in surprise before his mouth was on his, tongue brutally shoving past his lips.

Their kisses were never soft or sweet, but there was a ferocious intensity to this one, a sort of wild energy that spilled out as Zane feasted on his mouth, dominating him in front of their audience.

“For the fucking record,” Zane said. “I am the crazy possessive type.” With that, Zane practically chucked Pavel’s hand away as if burned and stormed to the passenger side in the biggest show of an adult tantrum Pavel had ever seen. And he loved every damn second of it.

Every time Pavel showed up, Zane got hurt. He’d appear out of the blue, manhandle him, and then just leave. As though aftercare wasn’t a thing. As if Zane wasn’t deserving of receiving any of it.

Zane was only possessive of a few things. Things that were so important to him, the mere thought of sharing sent him into a rage. A person had never made that list, and yet there he’d stood, the urge to prove to everyone in that shitty burger joint that Pavel was off-limits driving him to do the unthinkable.

And therein laid the issue. Pavel didn’t belong to him. Things that weren’t meant to stick around couldn’t be owned.

And the inevitable was, eventually, Pavel would get bored of him or find someone more suitable. Everyone always did.

The plan had been simple, confront Pavel and tell him whatever this game was, it was over. Do whatever he had to do to make him see reason and stop. It’d seemed doable when he’d been driving in his car here, bitter and, frankly, kind of afraid, but now…

“Take it from someone who got caught by a sociopath,” Rin told him. “If this isn’t something you’re into, run. While you still can.” Zane couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m hardly the running sort. Besides, I can handle myself.”

It’d only slipped in a couple of inches, but he was smartly leaving it in, glaring daggers at the customer who’d stabbed him and was now shaking. The customer who’d clearly been about to stab Zane in the back before Pavel had intervened.

The flash of pain across his face was a rare show of vulnerability. A rare show caused by someone else.

Damn it. He was doing it again. Being all possessive.

“Relax. This was nothing. I’ve been patching him up since we were kids. He’s just used to me doing it, that’s all. No need to take it so personally.” “I’m not.” He was. He absolutely was.

Ledger chuckled. “That’s Zane for you. Always putting the Retinue first.” Nikita frowned. “I’m not Retinue.” “You’re mine,” Ledger stated. “That’s the same thing.”

“Keep looking at him like that,” Pavel said, “and I’ll be forced to blindfold you at every family event moving forward.” Family.

“Get out,” Pavel’s voice dropped deadly low, and when Zane took a step toward the door, warned, “Don’t play dumb with me right now. You’re wrong if you think I can’t still put you over my knee just because of a minor injury.”

Pavel inspected him for a moment, clearly trying to read between the lines and then guessed, “You felt neglected.” “I felt like used trash,” he corrected tersely. “No matter what game you’re playing, I am still a Royal. I will be treated as one.”

But it was difficult. Zane didn’t get to comment on how Pavel had walked away from him without a second glance. Not when he was merely returning the cruel favor.

At least Pavel did. At least he’d been trying all this time to bring them back together, the way he’d promised a much younger Zane he would always do.

And yet this version of the man he’d always cherished, this adult, devilishly handsome, entirely frustrating version had the audacity to stand there and act like he’d been the one abandoned? No. Absolutely not.