The Thrashers

by Julie Soto

Caroline Vallow was having a party. Jodi didn’t even know Caroline Vallow, but if she missed tonight, she’d spend the next six months hearing stories from this party—like how Paige had made out with a foreign exchange student, or how Lucy and Julian had won beer pong with a behind-the-back shot, or how Zack had met his new summer fling.

Zack was Jodi’s best friend. But she was only one of Zack’s many best friends.

was common knowledge that both Lucy and Paige were also in love with Zack. It was weird from the outside, but there was no strain—as long as Zack didn’t officially “choose” one of them.

Lucy always seemed pretty badass when she had a few drinks in her, but Jodi knew that the real reason she stole guys’ drinks was because she knew they wouldn’t be drugged.

The ding of a new text jolted her out of her thoughts. It was an unknown number with a Sacramento area code. All the message said was—are you having a nice summer?

Lucy had decreed that all five of them would go stag that year. Lucy claimed she wanted an excuse to break up with her girlfriend, but Jodi knew there were several motivations behind this, not least of all that Zack would be forced to be single that night.

memory—a school bus rocking. The sweaty seat under her thighs. Pale blue irises pinning her against the window seat. “I’ll protect you.”

“That’s not what happened though!” Jodi lowered her voice to a hiss. “Emily was unstable. She was strange. We all knew that. This isn’t our fault. We didn’t do anything to her to make her kill herself.” It was quiet. Zack opened his mouth—and closed it.

She couldn’t imagine sitting down with Maureen Mills, lying to her about what good friends she and Emily had been and trying to tell her stories about their fun times together. Sure, Jodi had been conned into a few more shopping and movie dates than the others, but that’s because saying no to Emily Mills was like kicking a puppy. A girl is dead because we didn’t invite her in our prom limo.

Just before she shut her phone off for the night, her eyes were drawn to the unknown number in her text list. are you having a nice summer?

And um, I’ll try to bring Zack and the others.” All the warmth drained from Maureen’s face. “That’s not necessary. Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach, like someone had punched her in the gut. “I have no interest in seeing that boy ever again.”

It was called being Thrashed. That’s what the Thrashers did. Get too close, and you’ll get Thrashed.

Emily had had a thing for lampposts. Maybe not a thing, but a quirk. She told them about it one night when Lucy was driving them all home after the movies. None of them knew how Emily had been invited—they just assumed that Zack had told her to come. But Paige found out later that Zack had talked about it in front of Emily, that was all. Not even in front of her, adjacent to her. Emily had shown up on her own, acting like she’d been included.

Emily and Jodi, smiling at the camera. Narrowing her eyes, Jodi took a step up to the bars of the bleachers, as if getting closer would help. When was that taken? It looked like a selfie, the camera flash bright in Jodi’s eyes. Emily’s head leaned on Jodi’s shoulder. “Isn’t that at Lucy’s cabin last year?” Paige stepped up next to her. “I did your hair like that.” Jodi stared. The earrings. She’d lost one during that trip and never wore them again. Emily wasn’t there. Jodi’s eyes snapped to Hannah, wondering why she would edit together a picture that didn’t exist.

“They say that girl killed herself because of you. All five of you. Criminal harassment, they’re calling it.”

“Zackary Thrasher, you’re under arrest for the harassment and statutory rape of Emily Mills.”

I TRIED TO ASK HOW SOMEONE BECOMES A THRASHER. THEY SAID, “YOU DON’T.”

going by the nickname ‘the Thrashers,’ this clique of five is facing scrutiny as more reports come forward about their bullying and harassment of Emily Mills, and one of them is facing statutory rape charges—”

Maybe it wasn’t being lonely she was afraid of. Maybe it was being alone.

She held him as he cried, hoping this moment could be worth all the things she was sure to miss as her life broke into pieces.

She wondered how easy it would be to just open her mouth and let it all fall out—all of her frustrations that her friends didn’t prioritize her, all of her regrets about Emily, all of her love for Zack. But she sniffed into the Kleenex instead and refocused on her task.

Jodi Dillon is her best friend. I told her to try reading Jodi’s body language, look for visual cues, see if Jodi feels the same. Said Jodi was the only person who cared about her in the entire world. Wouldn’t elaborate.

Obsessive. Angry when prodded about this.

Had Paige invited Emily just to humiliate her? That wasn’t like Paige. Had Julian offered to get her a corsage, knowing Emily wasn’t invited with them? That did sound like Julian. Had Zack promised to slow dance with Emily? A possibility, but not to torment Emily.

But one question circled in her mind. Had she just derailed a police investigation?

She felt … she almost felt like Emily. Like no one wanted her around, but they were tolerating her.

Would Jodi say that Julian was bullying Emily? Probably. But Emily was also unable to take a hint.

The movie screen was falling forward, headed right for them. She froze, but something warm slammed into her back, sending her down hard on her chin.

“Julian?” He took a shaking breath against her back. He’d covered her. Was he injured?

“Dillon, go.” “Don’t be a martyr, Julian. It doesn’t suit you.” She climbed up into the bed of the truck. “You can feel your legs and all that, right?” “Yeah.” He bent a knee. “I can’t use my—my core.” “Stop talking about your abs, you asshole,” she tried to joke, and she thought she heard a puff of breath in response.

Julian was sitting on a stretcher to her left, his eyes wide and mystified, fixed on her. He looked like he had seventy questions to ask but only a breath to do so.

“I think he’s really impressed. He may owe you a life debt or something.” Jodi scrunched her nose. “Hardly. He could have just laid there for a few hours until the Jaws of Life came.”

She said that right after Julian’s ambulance left, a few more beams snapped. The screen collapsed, like, more.” He looked up at her. “If he’d still been under there, he might be dead.” Jodi stared up at the ceiling. “Tell him to buy me a gift card and be done with it.”

Was Zack right? Were they being punished for hanging out again? Jodi pushed the stupid idea to the side and curled into Rosa’s pillow.

Jodi’s chest felt empty. She’d thought maybe they had something to say to each other. The sound of his screaming against her throat, or the way he’d told her to just go. The slam of her chin on the truck bed as his body covered her.

Jodi let Paige talk it out, wondering what it was Lucy had done. What had Emily written about in her journal?

NOT WHEN JODI IS SITTING NEXT TO ME. SHE’S FASCINATING. I THINK I COULD BE HER IF I TRIED.

“Ambulance? We call 911 for asthma and they’ll bring an inhaler?” Julian jumped down. “We’ll have to ditch the bottles and the pot—” “That doesn’t fucking matter!” Jodi snapped. “We can’t be in the news again, Jo,” Zack said softly, his voice almost begging.

Jodi hesitated. She knew—she knew—that if Emily got on that hood, she’d get hurt. She felt it in her gut. Either one of them would do something stupid or Emily would try to be braver than she should. Emily held on to Jodi’s hand even as Jodi relaxed her grip. Jodi turned to her.

“You can’t talk to me that way in my own house!” “You can’t throw things at me!” She backed away to the other side of her bed. “You promised you wouldn’t do that again.”

“He doesn’t hurt me,” she whispered in the silence, and though it wasn’t the full truth, it was close enough. “He just scares you,” Julian said.

She didn’t like that she knew something about his dad and he knew something about hers. She didn’t want him thinking about her like she was thinking about him. He’s only hit me a few times though.

If Emily’s journal was hidden in the bathroom wall … then what did the police have?

I KNOW GOD WON’T FORGIVE ME FOR THIS, BUT—I’VE NEVER WANTED A PERSON TO DISAPPEAR LIKE I WANT JULIAN HOLLISTER TO. I WANT HIM GONE.

She blinked. “Did you—You sat through the whole thing?” “Yeah. You could have mentioned it was three hours, Dillon.” He leaned back on the wall next to them. “That’s a serious time commitment to see some trees and rooftops you painted.”

He’d left her alone on New Year’s with Emily Mills’s ghost. None of them were here. None of them had been here in a long while. Maybe they didn’t want to be.

She’d gotten Happy New Year! texts in the group chat, but nothing else. Maybe that’s the kind of friends they were now. Holidays and birthdays, but once they graduated in June, there wouldn’t be anything but the reunions to bring them together.

Julian had come to Our Town for some reason. He was the only person who had been showing up for a while. She hadn’t thanked him. How was he supposed to know to come to the next one?

“A little bit. Maybe a lot. I don’t know what’s a lot.” She rubbed her face. “But I didn’t throw anything at anyone. Not that I thought I would, but … it’s nice to know that I don’t hurt people when I’m drunk, like my dad. Or yours.”

“You know,” he hissed. Oliver’s eye was split. His nose bleeding. “You know and you know she doesn’t drink—” “She’s her own person, not your lapdog. She makes her own choices—”