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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Jenn McMahon
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November 10 - November 12, 2024
Because I can’t fucking breathe. The person lying in that bed without a pulse is the man I’m deeply and madly in love with. He’s the man who knows me better than anyone else. He’s the man who holds all of my secrets.
“I’m fucking twenty-one, you Lincoln Log,” Emiline says defensively. My eyes widen. “Since when?” I groan, rubbing a hand down my face. “Good gracious. How have you two not tied her up and locked her in the basement to protect her?” I gesture to Thomas and Marc. “Because the last two people I want to be tied up by are my brothers,” Emiline answers.
No one knows the struggles I deal with and I’d like to keep it that way.
“Besides, you know the unspoken rules at work. No dating any of the four P’s… paramedics, physicians, firefighters, and police officers.”
“You are not getting in the car with a random person like this. If it means I’m a protective asshole, then so be it. But when I lay my head down to sleep tonight, I want it to be in good conscience that you’re home safe.”
This is a dangerous game she’s suggesting I play. Because all secrets kept in the dark eventually come to light.
“You didn’t need to come get me.” “Yes, I did.” Her eyebrows pinch together. “Why?” “Because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you, Emmy. Grab the helmet strapped to the back and get on the bike. I’m taking you home.”
“Is it safe?” she asks. “No,” I shake my head. “But you’re safe with me.”
“As a matter of fact, I’ve never had a girl on the back of my bike before.”
“Your friend isn’t wrong,” I whisper into the shell of her ear, and I feel her body become stiff under my arms. “I can’t have you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you.”
“You’re going down, Lincoln Log,” I say, playing off the nerves. “You wish I was, Shortcake.” He winks before he starts off toward the cornhole setup. I freeze in place, and my jaw falls open. Everyone around me also stands frozen, and my brothers look downright murderous over the words that just came out of his mouth. He did not just say that out loud. Logan turns around and makes eye contact with everyone in the group. “Oh please,” he rebuts. “That’s not what I meant. I meant, like… she wishes we were going down. Not.” He stops his rambling and groans. “You all have dirty fucking minds.”
“This isn’t funny,” she groans. “My brothers…” That’s when I break. “You think I don’t know?” I cut her off but keep my words low only for her to hear. “You think it’s easy for me to suddenly want to touch you in ways you’ve probably never been touched before? You think it’s easy for me to keep my distance and force myself to hate you?” She sucks in a sharp breath as her eyes bounce between mine. “I…” “Yeah, I get it’s your brothers, but those are also my best friends. I made a promise to them years ago that I’d never come near their little sister. To top it off, I’m not a relationship guy.
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“So you will remember when I tell you that you make it impossibly hard not to flirt with you, Em. It’s damn near impossible to hide it from everyone around me too. If you’re in the room, I want my eyes on you. If you’re close to me, I want to touch you. And if you’re near me, I fight every fucking urge in my body not to do something I’d regret.”
“I wouldn’t regret it,” she finally says.
“That might have been the wrong word because I wouldn’t regret it either. But I don’t want to make things complicated for either of us. It’s a bad idea for us to go down that road.”
“Fine.” I smack the counter lightly and turn on my heel. “Grab some coffee, will ya?” I tell her over my shoulder as I retreat away. “Okay, Daddy. Whatever you say,” she says in a smug tone. My steps falter, and I pause momentarily before shaking myself out of them and walking away. I refuse to acknowledge what Emiline just called me because if I do, I will say something I should definitely not be saying right now.
“Em,” he exhales. “You look…. tonight... shit. I don’t have the words.”
“You just did the sidewalk move,” she says. “Excuse me?” I say, looking over to her. She looks up at me, her smile still in place. “You know, keeping the girl on the inside to protect her from runaway cars. Except, this one was a runaway skater boy.”
“You know I didn’t bring a date,” he says, stepping forward. Our bodies are so close that if a gust of wind were to blow, I would collide with his chest. He leans his head over my shoulder. “But I’ve been wanting a dance with you all night,” he whispers only for me to hear.
“Do you think that’s a good idea tonight?”
“I don’t give a fuck anymore,” he whispers, the smile on his face growing wider. “I’ll handle your brothers later, but right now… I want to dance with you.”
“You know why I didn’t bring one tonight,” Logan whispers. I snap my head in his direction and swallow past the lump in my throat. “Because it wouldn’t be fair to her…” Logan pauses, collecting his thoughts. “It wouldn’t be fair because my eyes would only be on you. You make it impossible not to look at you.”
“I’m slowly losing all restraint with you, Em. I’m trying really fucking hard here to be respectful toward you and keep my word to your brothers, but there’s only so much a man can take.”
“Think you would be able to keep another secret?”
“I didn’t bring a date because I’m tired of fighting whatever the hell this is between us,” I whisper. “I’m tired of avoiding it because my brothers might think it’s wrong.”
“Am I the only one who feels something?” I question, pulling my body away from him. “I don’t do relationships, Em,” he replies.
“I can’t do a relationship either.” I shrug. “I’m swamped with school, and I can’t commit to anyone or anything other than my studies right now.”
The moment her doe eyes finally look up at me, all the restraint I’ve been holding on to breaks. My fingers still grip her chin as I lean in without another thought and finally, fucking finally press my lips to hers.
My hands grip her hips, and before I can overthink it, I hike her dress up enough so I can lift her in my arms. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I turn my body toward the wall to hold her against it.
“Logan,” Emiline practically moans. “Just… don’t stop.”
“So pretty when you beg,” I grit out. “But we need to make one thing clear. This is a one-time thing. We’re just getting this out of our system, right? So this can’t happen again, and no one can find out about this.”
“Use me, Emiline.” “Oh. My. Fuck,”
“I’d love nothing more than to watch your face as you fall apart, grinding on me, but if you’re going to come for me, I want to taste every drop of your orgasm.”
“Tell me to stop,” I urge, looking up at her. “Tell me this isn’t what you want and I’ll stop.” “It’s just… I don’t know if I can come like that.”
“Wanna make a bet?” I ask. She rolls her eyes. “What kind of bet?” “I can have you coming with my name on your lips in less than two minutes flat,” I say with complete confidence because I know I won’t be able to stop until she’s dripping for me. “Cocky, much?” “Confident. Big difference,” I grin. “And since this is a one-time thing for us, I plan to fully get my taste of you so when you leave, and I lay in bed gripping my cock to the thought of your wet pussy on my lips, I can come in less than two minutes too.” I wink.
Her pussy throbs around my finger, and now I know she’s ready. I add in a second finger and suck her clit harder and faster, making her hips buck into my face. “I. I. I’m coming,” she screams. “Logan. Oh my god, Logan.” She continuously repeats my name as she comes. And I do too. I can’t fucking believe I just came in my pants like a teenager.
“Watching you come for me. Hearing you scream my name when I made you come… fucking exquisite.”
“What was that night for you?” I say, and my tone causes him to turn and face me again. “Just another night where you can say you got a girl off? Huh? Everything you said to me before that picture was taken, was that just a way to get me right to where you wanted me before I broke my barriers down and begged you to get me off?” Something in Logan snaps. He takes a heavy step toward me, and both of his hands cup the side of my face, angling my head so my gaze meets his. I lose my breath with his touch and how close his face is to mine. “Is that what you think, Emiline?” “I don’t know what to
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“Everything I’ve ever said to you was the truth, Em.” His voice is soft and sincere this time. “You weren’t just another woman to me that night.”
“Name three things you can touch,” he says. “T-the couch.” I inhale and exhale. “The pillow.” Another inhale and exhale. “You.” I force myself not to look away from him, watching intently as Logan swallows before speaking again. “Name three things you can hear.” “I hear…” I pause. “The dishwasher is going.” I can feel my breathing slowing. It’s still irregular but not as rapid as it was before. “The television is on in my bedroom.” Another quick breath. “You.” “Now, name three things you can see,” he says. “You,” I say without missing a beat. My heart is still racing, but my breathing is
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“I’ve been lying to myself long enough. I’ve been avoiding you because I’ve been terrified to let these feelings grow into more.” “I’m so tired of fighting it,” I confess. “I am, too,” Logan says, looking down. “But I told you I can’t do relationships, and that hasn’t changed. I just… can’t.”
“What do you want this to be then, Em?” “Whatever you want it to be, Logan.” I shrug. “I told you I can’t do the whole relationship thing either. At least not right now with school. So, good friends?” I ask.
“The best of friends, Emiline.” He grins wickedly.
“You got this, Emiline. You’re going to ace it with flying colors.”
“I want to kiss you, Emiline.” “Why?” “Because it’s all I can think about doing every time I look at you.”
“I didn’t invite you over for this, Em. I don’t want you to think that.” “I know you didn’t.” “But the movie.” “Fuck the movie,” she breathes out before gripping my face and locking her lips on mine again. My hands move on their own accord as they reach for her waist. She lifts herself off the couch to straddle my legs, hovering a safe space above me.
“Touch me, Logan.” I pull the strap of her bra to the side, kissing her collarbone. “Where do you want to be touched?” “Everywhere,” she pants. “I need you to be more specific.” I pull the other strap down, pressing a kiss to that collarbone. Emiline reaches behind her, unclasping her bra and tossing it to the side. Her breasts are on full display for me. I lean forward, taking the hardened nipple between my teeth before sucking it. “Fuck,” she moans, eyes fluttering closed. “Is this where you want to be touched?”
“You didn’t tell me how wet you were.” A smirk forms on her lips. “If grinding against my cock got you this wet, I can’t wait to feel how wet you are once I do this.” Two fingers slide inside of her with ease, my palm making contact with her clit. Her head falls back in pleasure. I lean forward, keeping my lips on the pounding pulse of her neck while I fuck with my hand as best I can with her pants still on.
“That’s it, Em. Ride my hand. Take what you need from me and grip my fingers with your pussy. I want to feel every single thing.” “Oh my god, Logan,” she says breathlessly. “Yes. Say my name when you get yourself off. Remind me who gets you off like this. Who makes you feel this good?” “Logan,”
My cock is screaming for attention, but I don’t want her to think this is about me. I want to give her pleasure.
