Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Expanded Edition: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

by Steve Harvey

Had that compliment not come through, I would have been salty about having to sit around with the kids all day when there were so many other things that I could have been doing

Appreciating a man, not undermining his confidence, is the best way to get the best out of your guy. And the best way to appreciate him is by being a girl, and especially letting him be a man.

Don’t invite him up for a nightcap—kiss him good night and let him figure out what he needs to do to earn the cookie (but not before the ninety-day probation ends).

Don’t wear a T-shirt to bed every night—a little lingerie never hurt anybody.

Do all the things for him a wife would do—support him emotionally, be loyal, work it out in the bedroom, tell him you love him often and show it, too. Maybe live with him. Have his babies. Get close—really close—to his mom and sisters and friends.

Responsibility and marriage do not fit into that feeling, until all of the playing gets tired and we realize we have to be grown-ups, or something—or someone—makes us grow up.

men do everything with a purpose, and in the case where a man dates you for an extended length of time, or moves in with you, or gives you a ring, but still refuses to be pinned down on setting a wedding date? He’s doing it to lock you down. He wants you, and he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.

You know you want it, so here’s what you do: get some requirements and standards and enforce them—tell him, “I love you, you love me, we’re in a terrific relationship—one that I’ve always dreamed about. And what I want now is to be married to you. So I need you to set a date, and get back to me in a couple of weeks. If I don’t get asked by then, then please know I’m not sitting around waiting for you to dictate when my happiness button gets pushed. The arrangements we have now are not making me happy.”

Set a requiremnt if he doesnt propose by this date then your out.

we’re not going to ask you when you’re ready—we’re going to play with you until you give us your requirements and standards, and stand by them.

Make clear to him what you’re worth, and that you come at a cost; tell him how much you’re worth like you’re about to list yourself on eBay for a million dollars.

Break down your value: say, “I respect you, I adore you, I’m affectionate, I pay attention to you, I’m punctual, I’m kind, I’m loyal, I’ll have your children and love them madly—and all of this is available for a handsome sum. I need your time, loyalty, support, affection, attention, punctuality, kindness, gentleman ways—I need the doors opened, chairs pulled out, your respect, and above all else, your love. I also expect a diamond ring and a walk down the aisle.”

Break down your value to him for the diamond ring.

boys shack. Men build homes.

Demand that he be a man about it. If he’s not in love with you, he’s not going to go for any of this, so now you know.

I can tell you from personal experience: put your foot down, set some standards, and watch how fast he falls in line.

Start putting yourself first—get where you want to be, and make your man be all that he can be.

number one cause of failure in this country is the fear of failure. Fear paralyzes you from taking action.

Don’t be afraid to lose him, because if a man truly loves you, he’...

that has nothing to do with you and how incredible you are.

Let your man know that you can be a lady at all times.

If there’s still dirty laundry hanging between your man and his ex, let HIM handle those issues. It’s not your place to jump into a situation that happened before your relationship.

You know what situations are likely to take you from classy to trashy in 2.2 seconds.

He’s already caught up in your spell, so you don’t have to jump at every invitation or be so eager that he loses interest.

Make sure that you stay occupied during these first thirty days by keeping up with things that you love, like your standing mani-pedi appointment with your mother or a night on the town with your girlfriends.

honesty is truly the best policy at this stage in the game to keep your relationship on track and to give you the best opportunities to get to know each other.

No amount of sweet-talking and eye gazing should make you lower your standards.

friendship has been the cornerstone of their union.

Nothing warms a man’s heart more than knowing that you appreciate him—even for the small things.

This isn’t a test of his manhood, but an opportunity to see if this is truly a man you can rely on when life throws you a curveball.

2. Talk about your sexual history. Ladies, don’t even think about pulling the wrapper off your cookies until you have an HONEST discussion on both ends about your intimate past. If he’s not willing to do so, that’s a definite flag that this man doesn’t respect you or your standards.

Any real man is going to want to know how he can please you more and make your relationship better.

Most of the magic that happens in the bedroom starts before you get there.

When you nurture every part of your relationship, your intimacy will be a natural extension of your growing affection for each other.

man knows when he has a good thing and he will do everything within his power to make a quality relationship work.

every man needs to know who he is, what he does, and how much he is going to make.

Now there is a difference between a man who just talks about his dreams and one who is really taking action on his vision now.

If his actions aren’t meeting up with his talk, then you know that he isn’t a gamble worth taking.

If he hasn’t made up in his mind that he wants to take on his dreams for himself, then you will be just another hurdle in his path.

Ladies, your love and respect are like GOLD to a man.

good man knows how to appreciate a good woman who stands by his side and when it’s time to cross the finish line he won’t forget to take her with him. But never stop wanting what you want. Keep it sexy!

You’re trying to be understanding, but it’s now going on three weeks since the last time you felt any heat in your bedroom.

Sometimes men just need to know that they are not alone.

There’s nothing sexier than sweating and building muscles together. And when those endorphins kick in, there will definitely be more than a few fireworks going on in your post-workout routine.

Your cookies might be crumbled for now but any man who truly loves his woman will find his way back into the groove, and you will be baking up some new cookies in no time.

Just because you have a year or two under your belt doesn’t necessarily mean that marriage is the next step.

Don’t be afraid to ask your man how you fit into the vision he has for his life.

If you are included in his vision, start scheduling regular time to talk about your mutual goals and dreams.

Set aside some significant time to talk about where you see yourselves TOGETHER in the next three, five, and ten years down the road.

4. Are your communication styles compatible? You’re an introvert. He’s an extrovert. Your first defense during a fight is to shut down; his first instinct is to explode.

Boshi and me

Be straight with each other about your financial habits, your financial goals, and how you want to manage your household expenses together.

No man wants to be surprised that he’s inheriting your $100,000 student loan bill.