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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Steve Harvey
Read between
August 12 - August 13, 2023
Never gives in easily, and the standards/requirements start the moment you open your mouth.
Wifey/keeper
Men automatically know from the moment she opens her mouth that if they want her, they’ll have to get in line with her standards and requirements, or keep it moving because she’s done with the games and isn’t interested in playing.
the best way to become successful is to master and control things you have control over.
You control what you can control—your image, the way you conduct yourself, the way you let men talk to and approach you—and use that to get the relationship you want.
Self control.
“Thanks, my health is important to me and working out is a great way to keep in shape,” and he knows that he’s going to have to dig a little deeper to find out more about you.
Know that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going to change his mind just because you two are going out on dates and being intimate.
He is who he is...
“Men Respect Standards—Get Some”): “I don’t take phone calls after 10 P.M., because my kids are asleep and I’m getting my rest”; “I appreciate a man who shows up when he says he’s going to show up and calls when he’s going to be late”; and “I don’t have sex with anyone until I’m sure that we are in a serious, committed relationship—no casual sex for me” are all acceptable ground rules for any man coming at you.
Set out your boundaries & expectations from the beginning & stick with it. Dont let things slide and tell yourself "oh its just one day".
A woman who commands respect is a keeper; a woman who lets men get away with disrespecting her is a throwback.
5. A woman who can hold a respectful, respectable conversation with a man and his mother is a keeper; a woman who shudders at the prospect of having to talk to the matriarch of a man’s family is a throwback.
7. A woman who knows she wants to be married and raise a family and lets a man know this up front is a keeper; a woman who doesn’t have a plan for her relationship life beyond next weekend is a throwback.
8. A woman whom we can introduce to our friends and family is a keeper; a woman we don’t even bother introducing to our friends or family is a throwback.
9. A woman who smiles and takes care of herself and is generally happy with her life is a keeper; a woman who doesn’t take care of herself and is sour all the time, has an attitude wider than all the ocean, and doesn’t hesitate to lay somebody out for the slightest transgression is a throwback.
10. A woman who shows her appreciation for all that you do for her is a keeper; a woman who acts like nothing you do can make her happy is a throwback.
12. A woman who understands that a man validates his manhood by who he is, what he does, and how much he makes, and who knows how to finesse her relationship so that her man feels like he’s handling his business is a keeper; a woman who wields her paycheck and influence like a sword and belittles his career and financial contributions is a throwback.
2. If he laughs off your requirements and standards, then he’s sport fishing; if he seems willing to abide by your rules, and actually follows through on them, then he’s looking for a keeper.
If a mans a keeper or a player: #
3. If he takes your phone number but waits longer than twenty-four hours to call, he’s sport fishing; if he calls you right away, he’s showing that he’s genuinely interested in you, and is most likely looking for a keeper.
4. If he takes you out on a date and lets you pay, or only kicks in his portion of the bill, he’s sport fishing; if he pays the bill, he’s showing that he’s willing to provide for you, which means he’s likely looking for a keeper.
5. If he tells you he’s going to be somewhere at a certain time, and he consistently shows up late without so much as the courtesy of a phone call, he’s probably sport fishing; if he shows up when he’s supposed to, he’s looking for a keeper.
7. If he keeps offering up excuses for why he can’t meet your friends and family, he’s sport fishing; if he agrees to go to the family barbecue or a social event where he will be introduced to family, friends, and co-workers, he might consider you a keeper.
8. If he cringes at the mere mention of children, he’s sport fishing; if he’s willing to meet your kids and shows up with gifts and can relate to them in a way that makes them comfortable with him, then he might consider you and your kids keepers.
9. If he does not have himself together financially, emotionally, and spiritually, he may be sport fishing; if he is capable of providing and protecting his potential family the way a real man should, then he might be searching for a keeper.
This is still questionable...
10. If he lobbies for an “open” relationship and says he’s cool with you seeing other people, then he’s sport fishing; if he wants your relationship to be exclusive and he agrees to date only you, he considers you a keeper.
V
usually to the detriment of romantic relationships.
No matter what they say, no matter what they do, no matter how many different ways they slice it, women like “Did I Marry a Man or a Boy?” feel like they just can’t compete with The Other Woman—the mother.
his mother has something against his significant other; he doesn’t want to grow up;
he jumps through hoops for his mother because she spoils him rotten and takes care of his every need.
because his mother has set requirements and standards for that man, and his woman has not.
a man who loves you will be the man you need him to be if you have requirements—standards you set to make the relationship work the way you want it to.
1. You need to respect me. 2. You must put me and our kids after God and above all others. 3. Be clear to everyone involved in our lives that they will respect your relationship—and me.
Ground rules & REQUIREMENTS
Men cannot read minds, and we are completely incapable of anticipating what you want.
your man truly loves you and he’s a real man, he’ll figure out a way to get his mom onboard with making his woman happy
“Did I Marry a Man or a Boy?” should have stopped her husband at the bedroom door and told him something like, “Look, I know you love your mother and you’d do anything for her, but it’s not acceptable to me for you to leave me and these babies here in this house alone to bake cookies. If you choose to go over there, then you need to stay over there for the night.”
she’s making him aware of the standards he needs to live up to in order to stay in their relationship. Once it’s said, the ball is in his court.
you can control how you feel and what you expect of your man.
you don’t and can’t comprehend why a man would be unfaithful, and you won’t ever pretend to.
women will put up with a lot of things. Cheating is not one of them.
He then went on to explain that he loved me and would never do anything to hurt me, but if I gave him permission to have sex with other women and not form relationships with them, he would.
Why tf do men always say this?!
Should I consent so that a potential for sneaking around can be eliminated?
It was something that may have made him feel good physically, but emotionally, his heart—the professing, providing, and protecting he saves for the woman
Trust me when I say this: under this situation, plenty of men would easily justify their getting some from somewhere else. Neither he, nor any other man, for that matter, is going to go without sex too long.
Boshi trying to justify it.
He’s got to try to feel better some kind of way, and so he’s going to get sex from someone if he can’t get it from you.
“I don’t care if somebody got a picture of my butt up in the air in the pump position with my social security number stamped on the left-hand side of my cheek, I’m going to tell my wife, ‘It ain’t me
When they get caught DENY DENY DENY. Which goes downhill from there...
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,”
Whats this saying? Google it
we think we’re slick and we go to great lengths to hide our infidelity from you, always with this in mind: if you don’t know about it, it can’t hurt you.
it’s more important to you to be with us in our imperfection than to leave us and be alone.
How men thinnk when theyre cheating
if a man doesn’t see you fitting into his life plan—he won’t even bother with all of the covering up and the chitchat after he gets found out. He’ll simply tell you that he was sleeping with someone else because . . . He hasn’t become who he wants and needs to be or found who he truly wants.
we are defined by who we are, what we do, and how much we make. And if we haven’t gotten to where we want and need to be, then we’re not going to be ready to figure out how settling down with one woman fits into our plans for becoming a truly independent, mature, well-off man.
he’s become the man he envisioned himself being and has put his priorities in this order: God, family, education, business, and then everything else. But if family isn’t second, it’s about to be a problem;
Where do you stand on the priority list?
“You’re married—I can’t do that with you.” Man, do you know how many marriages and relationships would still exist today?
Theirs always a women out their fe who is willing to cheat with you knowing you have a partner
these are the women who have no standards and requirements and who suffer from serious self-esteem issues, making themselves willing to cheat and available to be cheated on.
