The Dawn of the Cursed Queen (Gods & Monsters, #3)

by Amber V. Nicole

“Move.” Vincent’s voice was gruff and filled with anger, as if I were the one that made us stop. The generals towering over us may buy his act, but I saw the crack in the armor he hid behind so well. Vincent was afraid.

I turned as she walked across her room, my eyes following her naked, lean-muscled form as she grabbed her garbs off the large, clawfoot chair. I watched without a hint of lust or longing, not craving her as I once had eons ago. What I’d done in this room with her had been out of survival, duty, and perhaps a belief that I deserved it. Maybe I did deserve her after the way I had betrayed my family. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat, refusing to reveal the disgust I felt for myself.

“The World Ender had a lover and not just a fling like in his past. They say she is a beast made of flame and hate, and she followed you lot back. His beast. The female Ig’Morruthen.” Dianna. He meant Dianna.

Samkiel was a light. He promised peace and change, and I had helped snuff it out. A part of me hoped I burned in Iassulyn for eternity for it. Another part of me knew Dianna would hunt me, hunt us all like she did for her sister. I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t welcome it.

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. I was happy to see him. Happy to be off of blasted Onuna, but another aching pit ate at my gut. One thing I could not, or had not, forgotten. “You’re a monster,” she said, sneering at me and pulling at the restraints. “I halted plans for you, searched for that damned book, hoping there was another way that I could keep you.” My hand slid across her jaw as she pulled away from me in disgust. “I love you.”

“I have a blade,” I said, and Isaiah sat up straighter. “It has runes engraved on the sides. Think the words of Ezalan, but more. I could erase all her memories and replace them. She would want only to serve you, I swear it. Dianna is a weapon I crafted, and a damn good one. She slaughtered Tobias and Alistair with ease. We need her.” I need her, but I did not say that aloud. Nismera glared at me. “I wanted her away from her mate. You failed that, and yet you think you can accomplish this?”

“I did everything you said to make them hate each other. Everything. I ripped the false sister from her exactly as you wished. This is as much of your problem as it is mine.” “Except I do not love her.” That made my pulse quicken, and I knew they heard it. Nismera’s eyes narrowed into slits, but I could not lie to her or myself. Not anymore. I glanced at my glass, the red liquid darker than the blood on Onuna. “I cannot help the way I feel.”

How ironic was I? The boy who was so afraid of monsters in the dark that I became the very thing I feared.

“Truthfully, fate, probably. The plan was for Samkiel to come back after the weapon was made. Dianna would help me kill him before she ever felt the bond and knew what he was to her, but I was wrong. Maybe she was seeking that connection on some level. She killed Zekiel, which brought Samkiel back. They hated each other, and by the time I realized they had teamed up and were looking for that book, it was too late. They have been inseparable since.”

Love to us was deadly, powerful, and, above all, something we would rip to pieces to keep. “Being around Dianna was the first time I truly felt anything besides anger or hate or bloodlust. For us?” My eyes held his. “Love is a terrible, cruel thing.”

I again saw the symbols etched into the floor, and chains strong enough to hold the god I knew wouldn’t last much longer, and it was all because of me. One glance and I hated myself, hated as I turned away and followed after Xavier, the entire time knowing the consequences.

“I’ll do it,” I said. “But take it from me. You won’t like what I find. Samkiel’s death will have broken her. We all saw what Gabby’s death did to her. Dianna will find us and make everyone pay. She’s probably slaughtering her way through realms as we speak.”

"Has he inquired more about that?" Reggie asked as I passed him, dumping bits of fruit and bread in the trash. "Only every day, in some way or fashion," I said, heading back to the balcony. "And what do you tell him?" A harsh laugh left me as I knelt. "Oh, I say, yeah, babe. So we had a mark. It only formed when you died, and I threatened the universe to get you back. It was there for a while, then disappeared, and fate and I have no idea what that means. Oh, by the way, did I mention you died?" I glared at Reggie as I stood up, making my way back inside to the trash. "How did he take it?" "Reggie." I shook my head. "I'm lying, just like I am to him. I haven't told him, and I don't know how or what my price is for him being back."

"I'm afraid, too," I admitted. "Afraid if she does, I won't be able to stop her. Samkiel gets worn out even with the smallest use of power right now. He thinks I don't notice, but I notice everything about him. Nismera has a whole legion at her beck and call. Allies, his two hateful brothers, and I don't know shit about these realms."

"I do know one thing more than any," I said, holding his gaze. "What's that?" "No matter what, I will kill anyone and everything to make sure she doesn't find him. Even if he hates me or I die in the process."

I was finally comfortable in my own skin, happy with who I was, and no matter what, I wouldn't let that change. For the first time in centuries, I knew who I was. Samkiel may have died in that tunnel, but the part of me that was conflicted about the darkness living within me died with Gabby. Anything good in me didn't survive the loss of them.

I clicked my tongue and smirked. "A fate with a heart. Who would have thought?" The tension between us seemed to melt away then. Reggie cocked his head with a small smirk. It was such a mortal expression from one so ancient. "Perhaps I have just been in your presence for far too long." "If I'm your role model, you're definitely fucked." My chuckle made even fate's lips twitch.

I glanced down at my hands to see I was sliding my fingers over the spot where my mark should have been. "When Samkiel and I were… I would never hurt him, but maybe you're right. Maybe something is wrong with me."

"You should tell him soon, my queen. Secrets have buried rulers faster than any blade."

“You summoned me, my queen.” It still felt peculiar to have that roll off my tongue. Dianna was my queen, the only one who would receive that title from me, the only one I’d bow to. Yet I had to play the part, so I forced myself to use the correct terms.

“How did your date with our girlfriend go?” I shrugged. “Absolutely riveting.” “Learn anything?” My eyes darted toward a few of the flowers above her head. “I feel dirty.” “River?” “River.” I nodded.

“I know,” I said. “I apologize. I suppose I am irrational, especially when it comes to you. It’s just the mark has not formed. There is no binding letting everyone know you are truly mine.” “I thought I left plenty of those.” She smirked wickedly. I squeezed her knee playfully. “I’m not talking about your little love bites.”

I had missed them when we could not fully be together. No matter how much I enjoyed that, I still ached for the one that should have burned into my flesh, the one that would never heal, never disappear. I chewed on the inside of my cheek and leaned back, glancing at my bare finger. “You know which one I’m talking about.” She leaned back, her eyes scanning mine. “Do we need a mark for that?” I looked at her. “No, but does it not bother you it has not shown?” Dianna’s gaze dropped to my scar as it often did. “I don’t need a mark for that, and besides, maybe we did the ritual wrong? We kind of did everything backward, and I was evil for a while.” I laughed, shaking my head. “Never evil.”

“I remember being held down with those runes by the council. I remember Kaden arriving and…” I swallowed. “I remember being stabbed and that blistering pain. It felt as if my entire being had cracked open. I remember the realms opening and how much it hurt. Millions of voices exploded inside my skull. I felt them, everyone at once, and then it disappeared. I remember The Hand leaving. I remember Nismera standing over me, and I felt weak, so damn weak. Then all I remember is you.”

I did not tell her I remembered telling her I loved her or that she did not say it back. That part I kept to myself, fear a heavy, dreadful thing that told me no matter what we did or shared, she did not love me. There was still so much she kept from me, and like a fool, I was too afraid to ask. My heart could not take it if I spoke those words again, and the look that she wore now formed. How ironic was it that I had slayed beasts larger and deadlier than me and spoke to gods and deities who bowed to me, yet with her, I was utterly and completely terrified?

If he was the sun, by the old gods, she was the moon. Powerful, dark, and overbearing at times. She never left him, nor he her, as if they danced around each other for eternity.

“I promise not to maim or kill anyone unless they hurt or threaten you. If that happens, I’ll burn them alive. Deal?” “Deal.”

“With all due respect, akrai, do not compare me to him or what you’ve experienced with your past lovers. I don’t need nor want any other form but the one you wear daily. Do you understand?” “I didn’t mean it like that.” “You might not have, but that is how it came across. You, Dianna, my dark-haired, fiery vixen, are and will always be enough for me. No shape or form or thing you bend to will ever make any part of me swell, as you put it, like you. Understand?” I hopped off the table and walked over to him, not stopping until I wrapped my arms around him. He rested his cheek against the top of my head, and I hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me, engulfing me in his arms. Perhaps it was truly a funny thing not to realize how broken or damaged you were until someone came along and picked up every single fractured piece and showed you how just being you was enough.

“While you can take any shape you want, your true form is the one I prefer. So no, not even on your best day.” My form shimmered, my bronzed glow replacing the pink-hued skin. Thick dark curls spilled over my shoulders, the ends tickling my lower back. I pulled away and glanced up at him. This time, when he looked at me, that swirling emotion I had expected to see deepened in his eyes. “There’s my girl.” “There’s my girl.” I raised up on my tiptoes, my lips brushing across his in a chaste kiss. “Now that,” he made a noise in the back of his throat as his thumb danced back and forth over my cheek, “that does something to me.”

But nothing compared to this powerful, beautiful, handsome god king shoving his heart toward me and praying I did not hurt it. He was by far the most shocking and wondrous thing I had ever experienced.

“What have you seen?” I asked, realizing what had instigated his sudden spark of anger. His eyes met mine. “I saw Jade City ablaze.” He didn’t lower his gaze. “I saw it crumble and fall to the waiting sea below.”

But I think my favorite thing about him was how he never seemed to want to leave Xio’s side. He looked at her as if she hung the stars. It reminded me of the texts I loved to read.

“I’m going. You are going to have your magical meeting with a queen.” She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him close. She placed a kiss on his lips hard enough that it left a smack and stepped back. “And then I’ll be back to give you dessert.” Cedaar’s eyes widened a fraction, and I wondered what the word dessert meant. “What’s dessert?” I asked Reggie. He only shook his head. “Some things are better left unknown.”

“Do you? Because you keep throwing this big consequence in my face. I can’t think about the possibility that he doesn’t exist anymore, okay? I just can’t.” “I’m merely saying you need to think of all possibilities.” My heart thudded. “I have, okay? And when I think about them, I tend to go off the deep end. All I know is that I can’t lose him. I wouldn’t survive it. The pain I felt in that tunnel was as if every molecule in my body split and fractured. It was worse than any stab or punch. I thought I was broken before, but… my soul cleaved in two, Reggie. I felt it. A part of me died when Gabby did, and whatever part was left, whatever he helped heal, died down there with him, too.”

You brought a god back from death, Dianna. That act alone has never been done and will have required equal payment in return. If you think there will not be dire consequences, you are a fool. Can you look at me and say you don’t feel it, too?” “Well, I wouldn’t worry. As long as he stays alive, the universe will continue to spin or whatever it does.”

What if Reggie was right? What if I only brought him back temporarily? I heard nothing else. Felt nothing else. He was limp in my arms, that deathly gray taking up his entire face now. The color was stripped away. My light was stripped away. “I would have loved you then, too.” Love Love Love “Remember, I love you…”

She nodded. “Let’s start over, shall we? My name is not Xio. It’s Dianna. Those people took someone from me who means very, very much, and now I need your help to get him back, okay?” I nodded, my heart easing its frantic pace. “So you aren’t going to kill me?” She smirked and stood, holding her hand out to me. “No, Miska, I’m not going to kill you.” Then she looked over her shoulder and said, “But I am going to kill everyone else.”

“Vincent, Kaden has no mate. He was not born of flesh.” “He does now. He made her, crafted her when he found her. They spent a thousand years together. He trained her, made her a killer, and respectfully, my king, a damn good one. She killed Alistair with her bare hands. I was there when she flattened his entire organization. I was there when she came back from Yejedin, covered in the ashes of Tobias. There for it all. She may have been made for Samkiel, but she is Kaden’s blood, his anger, rage, and, above all, power. After what we did to Samkiel, she will not rest. She nearly leveled Onuna for Gabriella. What will she do for him?”

Fair, but the way he said it had my magic standing at attention. Not in fear or an attempt to protect me, but in a whisper, almost a purr. I mentally slapped it. Stop that. He was a traitor, a betrayer. He’d do the same to us.

“My turn,” I quipped. “Why her?” His posture went rigid. “Pick another question.” “Fine. Why are you being so nice to me? I know you’re my guard and all, and I can’t even breathe without you near me, but why?” He didn’t say anything for a moment, and I thought he would ignore me as he stabbed at his food. Then he sighed, not daring a glance at me as he said, “Because I think you feel just as alone here as I do.”

We sat in silence for the rest of the meal, but I couldn’t hide the fact that both of us, betrayers at our cores, seemed to bond over the silence. Maybe it meant nothing. Maybe it meant everything.

She held up that small finger, wiggling it at me as she grinned. “Your burdens are my burdens, and we take care of each other, okay?” I clasped her pinky with mine and nodded. “Promise.”

My back hit the wagon wall as I sat up straighter. “How do you know I can even understand you?” A crooked smile formed on his lips as he dug into the dirty clothes he wore and pulled out his hand. He opened his palm to reveal my rings. “Because I know who and what you are, Samkiel.”

“You know, they tried to take that necklace off you. Three guards attempted it, and it cut their hands. They laughed, saying it was damn near unbreakable.” I glared at him but said nothing. He sipped on his soup. “Must be pretty damn important.”

I lifted the necklace, peering closely at the pictures of us inside. A small smile curved my lips, a small bright spot in this damned day.

“It’s a centrifuge.” Her voice was as cold as the room. I stood up and turned toward her. “And the blood currently spinning inside is of my brothers.” “What?” “She has Isaiah’s and Samkiel’s. I can smell it.” I took a shuddering breath. “She must have collected Samkiel’s when she killed him, but Isaiah’s?” “Kaden.” “What?” I snapped, turning toward her. She stood there with an empty vial in her hand. “I think all she’s missing is yours.”

The last part made me wonder. Now that I thought about it, she never let Camilla go too far without Vincent or her guards. At first, I had assumed it was because she thought Camilla would flee, and Nismera needed her power to help the other witches fix Nismera’s medallion. But it had been so long now that Camilla wouldn’t run. She might snoop and be too damn nosy, but she wouldn’t run. What about Camilla had her so concerned? Not glancing at me, Vincent stepped forward, completely focused on Camilla. They stared at each other as if it was I who had interrupted something. Neither of them said anything as they left.

A shuffling came from my right, and the last guard gasped. “No,” he whispered. “You’re no rebel. You’re him.” The dagger left my hand and speared through his skull, cutting off anything else he would have said. His body dropped with a thud. I picked up the first guard I’d killed and stomped through the brush as I neared the elf. He sat up, holding his side as he smiled at me. “Thanks for saving me.”

“Please tell me you did not get yourself in this predicament to prove a point.” His tail thrashed behind him. “Actually, no. I left to take a piss, and the guards saw and jumped me.” “Why?” I asked. “They mentioned a traitor.” The elf dug into his loose pants pocket. He pulled out the rest of my rings and handed them to me. “I guess I can tell you my secret since I know yours.” I took my rings back and placed them in my pocket. “Go on.” “My name is Orym. I’m an ex-commander of Nismera’s Thirty-sixth Legion.”

“How… how are you alive?” he asked as we settled into the cramped tent. We stayed in the shadows and snuck in through the back of our tent, making it back without the guards seeing us. I said nothing as I lay back down on my small cot. “I saw… we all saw the sky open. Your light dances across the sky. You’re supposed to be dead.” Dead. That’s what they kept saying, and by all accounts, they were right.