False Start (Red Zone Rivals, #5)

by Kandi Steiner

“You…” I started, but stopped immediately, my stomach flipping so violently I nearly lost my dinner. I stood, shaking my head, hands flying into my hair as I walked away from her in denial.

When I was on the opposite side of the room, I froze, numbness invading every inch of me as I tried to process. I turned slowly to face her, and I didn’t know what hurt more — the crushing weight on my chest or the sight of her falling apart.

“I wasn’t mad at you that week,” she said, her voice trembling as she fought back tears. “I was terrified of losing you.” “Losing me?” I let out a breath, shaking my head in disbelief. “Why… how could you ever lose me?” “You were sixteen,” she cried. “You had your whole...

“I was just a kid, too. We both were. I had no idea how you would take it. I was afraid you’d hate me, that you’d be mad ...

“I just… I needed time. So, I told my parents, and they told me no matter what I decided to do, they’d support me. I went to tell you, but your parents said you were sleeping. They saw how upset I was… I was crying…” My hands curled into fists at my side.

“So, I told them, and… and they said they would tell you when you woke up, that they’d have you call me. They hugged me and swore it would all be okay.” “Fuck!” I dragged my hands through my hair again, and then I couldn’t stand to be apart from her any longer.

“I’m so sorry, Kyle,” she cried. “I should have told you. I should have—” “You did, you tried. You trusted my parents to tell me and…” I went wide-eyed. “Oh, God. Madelyn, when you saw me at school on Monday…” “I thought you hated me,” she sobbed. “And then you left and—”

“I lost the baby,” she cried into my chest, her hands clinging to the fabric of my dress shirt. “And I lost you. And I lost myself. And now, realizing you didn’t even know… I… I…” Fuck. I couldn’t help it. I broke.

Clutching Madelyn to me even harder, the first sob wracked my body, and that made Madelyn crack wide open, too. She clung to me, both of us crying like we were kids again, like this conversation and this room had transported us back to that time in our lives.

“Mads, I am so sorry,” I croaked, my chest splitting open with every word. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone. I’m so sorry I didn’t force you to talk to me, that I let my stupid anger get in the way of me running to you.” “It’s not your fau...

“You’re not mad at me?” she asked pathetically. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I shook my head, locking my eyes on hers as I bent to her level. “I’m furious, Madelyn, but not at you. Never at you.”

As if acknowledging my rage allowed it to burn brighter, I felt my chest squeeze in the way it did before I got into a fist fight. I saw red at the thought of my father. I had no doubt he was the one who told my mom what would be said to me. And then I cursed my mother, who no doubt didn’t have the spine to stand up to him and say no. Both of them were fucking dead to me,

Right now, the only thing that mattered was this ...

“They stole you from me,” I whispered, stomach curdling at the realization. “They stole our child from us.” Madelyn closed her eyes, freeing more tears as her hands covered mine where I held her face. She leaned into my touch as if it was the only thing that could save her....

A baby. A child. I was a father. Madelyn was the mother to my child. My throat constricted, and Madelyn swiped away...

“We can’t go back and do anything different,” I finally said, forcing a long inhale and exhale. “We can get angry, and sad, but none of that will change what happened.” Madelyn nodded, her bottom lip wobbling. “...

“How?” she whispered. “You’re about to be a rookie in the NFL, Kyle. I… have a kid, one who isn’t yours. I have to get away from Marshall. I have to—” “Fuck all of that,” I said gruffly. “Fuck any excuse your brain is trying to give you right now. You’re a survivor, Mads, and I get it now. I understand why. You’ve had to sur...

“But listen to me,” I added, bending to hold her gaze again. “You don’t have to do this alone. Not anymore. Not ever again. You’re mine, Mads. You always have been. I lost you then, but I refuse to lose you now. Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you. Whatever we have to do, we’ll do it — together. No more letting anyone or anything get between us, you hear me?” She nodded, her arms wrapping around my neck.

“From this moment on, it’s you, and me, and Sebastian. Okay? We will figure it out. We will find a way. But I’ll be fucking damned if I ever let you go again. I’ll lay down my life before I let you walk alone. I’ll walk away from everything else if I have to — Seattle, the team, football, my family — but never you. Do you understand me? Never, ever you, Mads.”

I breathed her in, everything that she was, everything that we never had the chance to be. And I swore on my life right then and there that I’d make it right with her. I’d make it all right again.

“Kyle,” she sighed into my mouth, her tongue dancing over mine. “I need you. I need—” I silenced her request with my mouth, one arm still holding her tight to me as the other weaved into her hair and tugged with just enough pressure to make her gasp and arch her neck for me. I knew what she needed. What we both needed. And I was all too eager to lose myself in her forever.

“Mine,” he husked against my mouth, and then two pins clattered to the floor. “Always mine, Mads.”

“Even when I hated you, there were so many nights I dreamt of this,” he murmured against my lips.

“I dreamt of growing up with you, of hearing how your moans would change, feeling how your sighs would warm my skin when I found just the right spot.”

“I could get you off just like this,” he promised, and I knew he was right. Every time he ground his thigh against my clit, fire stroked my belly, low and hot. “I could make you come without even getting you undressed.”

“Fuck, Mads,” he breathed when the fabric was gone, and he sat back on his heels, staring at my pussy like it was his deliverance.

“You are so gorgeous,” he said, his voice low and sincere.

“My pretty fucking girl.”

“Patience, Mads,”

“This makes me so fucking hard, Madelyn. Knowing I do this to you.”

Kyle Robbins was on his knees for me.

Kyle Robbins was mine.

“I can’t,” I gasped, heaving, my chest aching with every breath. “Kyle, I…” “Give it to me,” he commanded, and then he was sucking my clit again, another finger joining the first. “Give me the first one tonight, Mads. Come on my tongue.”

I ripped apart. Every stitch that had carefully held me together since the moment I lost him was eviscerated, along with my ability to stand. I came like it was the first and the last time, like it was the end of my life and my body had one last chance to feel everything.

He consumed me, every part of me, and I never wanted to live outside of him again.

“If we do this,” he said, swallowing. “If you let me have you…” “I’m not taking it back, Kyle.”

“Claim me,” I begged, arching into him. “Leave your mark. Get back what’s always been yours. Ruin me, if that’s what it takes.”

“Have me in every way you want, Kyle, because I’ll only ever belong to you.”

And he flexed his hips, filling me, a groan ripping from his chest as I moaned and dug my nails into his back. We were home again. We were whole.

She was made for me.

I wanted to bury myself so deep in her that we became one. I wanted to erase every man who had been with her since me, every year that has separated us.

This was meant to be. We were meant to be.

“You’re perfect,” I murmured into her neck as I rocked my hips, out and back in, slow and steady. “Absolutely perfect.”

“You look so fucking pretty playing with your tits like this.”

Something told me her pleasure had been pushed to the wayside for far too long. She’d learn soon enough that with me? It would always be front and center. She would always be my number one priority.

“Ride me, Madelyn. Let me see you wild and undone and taking what you want.”

“You love feeling every inch of me, don’t you?” I mused, smirking as she threw her head back and let out a moan once she was fully seated. “Naughty fucking girl.”

“God, look at you,”

“These are beautiful, Mads. You’re so strong, so fucking sexy.” For a moment, I was sure she didn’t believe me.

“You,” I repeated, rocking my hips up to meet hers. “Are.” Another flex, another roll of my thumb. “Sexy.” A squeeze of her throat. “Every inch of you. Every scar. Every mark of motherhood. I’ve never been more turned on in my fucking life, Madelyn. You’re the only one who undoes me like this.”