False Start (Red Zone Rivals, #5)

by Kandi Steiner

“Thank you,” I said after a moment. “For the coffee. But it’s supposed to be me taking care of you.” She arched a brow. “Is that so?” “It is.”

“I saw that blush. Just what were you writing about, Miss James?” She was giggling at the tease, but when I said her name, the smile slipped. “Hearst,” she reminded me. “Nah, fuck that,” I said. “He doesn’t deserve to have his name on you.” “So, you’re just going to call me by my maiden name?” “For now.”

“Did it feel good?” I asked, and I chuckled a bit when her neck flashed a deep red. “Writing, I mean.” “Oh,” she said, her eyes falling to her hands on my chest again. “Yes, actually. It felt… like coming home.” I smiled at that. “I love your writing.” “You only loved it because half the time I was writing about your stupid ass,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Fair. I wonder if anything’s changed. Maybe I should go take a peek…”

Because suddenly, I didn’t give a fuck what happened when we were kids. I just wanted a clean slate. I wanted to start over, right here, right now.

I needed to save myself.

“Mom, what if… what if Kyle never knew I was pregnant?” She frowned at that. “Honey, you told him you were.” “No,” I said, the word wet and garbled. “I told his parents.”

I made a vow that when I touched her tonight, I’d savor every inch, not just with my hands, but with my eyes, too.

And if there was anything I wanted to prove to her now that she was back in my life, it was that I was patient. That I wasn’t going anywhere.

And I was doing my best not to sob like a baby.

“New Year’s Day’ by Taylor Swift, and then Giana started walking again. She was gorgeous.

When I looked at Clay again, it was just in time to see him lose the fight against his emotions. He pinched the bridge of his nose as his shoulders shook, Holden smirking behind him and clapping him on the back.

“I vow to always remind you to put yourself first sometimes,” Giana said when it was time for them to share, her eyes glossy as she looked up at Clay. “And to believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. I promise to always be there at the end of every game, win or lose, and to never let you sink too deep inside that head of yours.”

“I vow to always keep the house stocked with Cheetos,” he said toward the end, which made all of us laugh — that girl loved Cheetos. “I promise to kick anyone’s ass who doesn’t take you seriously in your career, and I swear to continue stealing your books and studying every scene you tab and highlight until the day you stop reading.” “That will be never,” she quipped, and we all laughed again.

“Are you challenging me, Kyle Robbins?” “Haven’t I always?”

“You know what,” he said, watching me for a moment longer before he turned to face his friends. “You’re right. I owe you all an apology.” That shocked the table silent.

“Riley, I shouldn’t have been such an asshole to you. You were a great player from the moment you stepped on the field, and if I’m being honest, I was intimidated by you. I was also pissed to have to share the limelight when I felt like that media attention and those deals I was making were all that I had at the time.”

he looked at Julep. “I’m sorry most of all to you, Julep. That night at The Pit when you were drunk… I shouldn’t have had you in my room — not even if to prove a point to my stupid roommate who couldn’t get his head out of his ass,” he added with a pointed glare at Holden. “But I promise you, I never would have hurt you or done anything to cross the line. I was just… fucked up, if I’m being honest.”

My throat tightened the longer that silence stretched, the more I realized how hard it was for him to say all this. I wanted to reach for him, to comfort him in that moment, but everything about his body language told me he needed space to get through what he needed to say to his friends. So, I stayed by his side, my gaze steady, letting him know I was there for him without saying a word.

“I didn’t have the best family life,” he admitted, and he swallowed hard before his eyes found me. I nodded softly, keeping my eyes locked on his. “But no one knew that — not at NBU, anyway.”

“I may have shown it in an asshole way, but I care about you guys. I always have. And if I ever annoyed you, if I ever pushed you, if I ever made you want to punch me in the jaw — it was because I was desperate for someone to recognize my existence.” He tongued his cheek. “Sometimes, ...

I covered my mouth with my hands, closing my eyes and hoping like hell that I didn’t let a tear sneak free. For a long time, no one said a word. Then, finally, I heard a clap on a shoulder, and I opened...

“There’s a reason you were invited to my wedding,” he said, pulling back but still holding onto Kyle’s arms. “And to this one. There’s a reason no one ever tried to kick you out of The Pit.” “We saw you,” Leo filled in. “Even when you tried damn hard to make that impossible to do. I’ll...

Kyle nodded, his eyes sliding to Mary on a grin. “I don’t have anything to apologize to you for,” he said with a wink. “Still think your tattoos are sick. Still think you’re one nasty girl. And would still call yo...

My personal favorite was the book wall, where mine and Kyle’s names were written in gold script on the spine of a fake book. When we opened it, it had our table number in it.

The bouquet toss happened about midway through the night, and though I pretended that Mary and Riley had to pull me out against my will, I didn’t miss the way Kyle covered his laugh with one hand as he watched me gain my stance and prepare for the throw. That thing was mine.

But I didn’t have to. Giana tossed the bouquet of flowers made from book pages up in a perfect arc — For Riley. Shit.

I thought about losing the bet with Kyle for a split second, but my pride won out, and I jumped in front of Riley — who was somehow even more petite than I was. She blinked in surprise when I snatched the flowers, and then all the other girls cheered and surrounded me.

I don’t think he realized I could still hear him when he said, “Am I going to have to put a baby in you to tie you down the way Clay did with G?”

“Riley, you didn’t try too hard either,” Kyle assessed. “After all, I know how you fought for the ball when we played five hundred.” Riley shrugged, looking over to Zeke. “Bouquet toss is for women who aren’t already married.” There was a long pause. And then a chorus of demands for her to explain. She laughed, leaning into Zeke before holding up her left hand. “None of you idiots noticed the ring?”

“Oh, my God! I’ve been so focused on the wedding I didn’t see! I’m the worst friend ever!” Clay consoled her with a chuckle as Riley leaned into Zeke again. He put his arm around her, and she looked up at him like he hung the moon. “We eloped.” “Of course, you two would elope,” Julep said. “Is this just because you didn’t want to have to wear a frilly dress, Novo?” Zeke sucked his teeth and leveled a look at his friends. “This girl wore her damn leggings.” “We were hiking!” Riley defended.

“It’s kind of crazy,” he said, shaking his head as his eyes washed over mine. “What is?” “Two weeks ago, you were just a memory. And now…”

“I can’t believe how fast this has all happened. I mean, I hated you. I never wanted to see you again. And then you showed back up in my life, and… it just feels like a whirlwind. One moment I’m just your agent, then I’m your fake girlfriend, then you’re meeting my son, and then I’m here and nothing feels fake anymore and I just… I don’t…” “I know,” Kyle said, thumbing my jaw with his brows furrowed.

“We can slow down. We can pull back. We can be just friends, whatever you need.” He paused, chewing his bottom lip. “Are you ever going to tell me why you hated me?”...

“Is it because of what happened with my parents that night? Did… did your parents make you say what you did?” I frowned. “What do you mean say what I did?” His jaw tightened. “That you wanted me to stay...

My breath caught in my throat. Because that confirmed what I suspected. His parents never told him I was pregnant. They told him I wanted him gone. And then, he left. I felt myself hyperventilating, each breath...

“I know you were mad at me before the party though,” Kyle added, speaking faster like he was onto something. “You were off that whole week. I tried to talk to you, but you wouldn’t let me in. And the...

“Mads,” he croaked, holding my head to him. “You’re breaking my fucking heart right now.” “Not as much as I’ve already broken my own.” “Talk to me,” he begged. I shook my head on a sob but held onto him just as tightly. “Not here.”

“I’ll see you all in the morning,” Kyle promised, and then he hooked his arm around my waist. “I need to get my girl back to our room.” My girl. Our room.

But I’d do anything Madelyn asked me to — even if it meant bleeding out right here at her feet.

“I was upset with you,” I admitted. “Something was wrong that week. I knew it, and you wouldn’t talk to me. I think I knew you were going to break up with me, and I…” I cleared my throat. “I felt so out of control. All I wanted was for you to be there with me that night at my parents’ party. I wanted you to let me in. I wanted a chance to fix whatever I’d done wrong.”

“In hindsight, I’m glad you weren’t there,” I said on a sigh. “Because you would have had to witness what my father did — to your mother, to your father…” I swallowed. “To me.”

“The next morning, when all the dust was settling, I didn’t realize how bad it really was. Not until you showed up.”

“I saw you from my window. And, fuck, Mads,” I said, shaking my head and looking right at her. “I can’t explain what I felt when I did. I was relieved, happy, hopeful, and yet shaking like a fucking leaf, too, because I didn’t know if you’d ever be able to love me again after what had happened. The way my father had treated your mother, the things he’d said, and then…”

“I just… I thought you and I could make it through anything,” I confessed. “I waited in my room just thinking of how you’d open the door, how you’d see me and your face would crumple, and I’d run to you and you’d hug me and we’d hold each other and whatever you’d been angry at me for that week would just disappear. It wouldn’t matter. It…”

“When you didn’t come, I ran downstairs. And my parents told me what you’d said to them, what you’d asked of me.” “They said I wanted you to stay away from me,” she whispered, the first words she’d said since I started speaking. I nodded.

“It fucking killed me,” I said through the thickness in my throat. “My parents knew it would. They said we were going to move, that I wouldn’t have to live in the hurt. They told me to pack my things. And when I saw you on Monday, when I showed up to get my stuff from school… I thought maybe you’d run to me. I thought maybe they were wrong, that you’d change your mind, that you wouldn’t let your parents control you. But I saw it in your eyes. I saw how…”

“I saw how fucking scared you were of me. It was like you saw my father when you looked at me, and that gutted me more than anything.”

“I hated you,” I whispered. “I did, Mads. I hated you with everything that I was for years. Until I saw you again.”

“And then I realized that the only reason I could hate you was because I couldn’t see you, couldn’t touch you, couldn’t remember what it was like to be in your presence. And the moment I was around you again, all that was eviscerated. Because the truth is I can’t do anything but love you.”

“I’m about to prove you wrong,” she said after a moment, dropping her hands into her lap. Her red, blotchy eyes met mine. “You’re going to hate me after what I tell you.” My chest hollowed out. “I never could—” “You will,” she argued. “Because I didn’t tell your parents that I wanted you to stay away from me, Kyle. I told them I was pregnant.”