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But if you couldn’t keep your sense of humor in the midst of the nightmares you went crazy, or changed jobs, or ate your gun.
“Jean-Claude said, ‘I would prefer that you wear the symbol of my love every day.’”
Good sex was like money in the bank; if you made regular and sizable deposits, you earned more interest.
“In all the centuries I have been alive, no conversation that began with the equivalent of ‘we need to talk’ has ever gone well.”
“We all build upon our ruins.”
The fact that I had fallen in love with him, too, was either irony or God being kind.
You should never attack a necromancer in a cemetery; it’s like chasing Rambo into a building full of loaded guns. Some people seem to help you kill them.
It’s hard to pay a debt to the dead, so I’d decided to pay it forward
every religious group has people who make you want to say, I’m not with them, or even, They’re evil.
“I didn’t lose any of these fights; I won them all. Everyone who hurt me is dead; I killed them. I think of the scars as an advertisement for just what a bad-ass I am.”
“No, every time I look at my scars I think that I lived, and I killed what hurt me. These are victory marks, not victim,”
“Damn straight.”
Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, and all that jazz.
girl box,
anthropomorphize
They’d have flamethrowers and the protective suits that went with them;
Cops can make very good bad guys, and very good friends.
“Fire scares everything; bullets don’t.” Translation: He trusted their flamethrowers more than the guns.
Shoes were always the sticking point when you stripped in real life; the trick was to take the shoes off early in the process if you’re wearing real pants. Most professional strippers wear pants meant to rip away with Velcro and be put back together for next time. In movies, it’s all distraction and stopping the scene a dozen times to change the clothes, so that some scenes it’s like five different outfits that look like a single strip scene; it’s all illusion. In real life, take the shoes off first.
I let the men laugh at my expense, because laughter was so much better than tears.
“So, you’re not apologizing for almost killing him, really; you’re apologizing for accidentally almost killing him.” “Yes.” “Because if you kill anyone it should be on purpose, is that it?”
“Oh, I’m not lying. Why tell a lie when the truth is so much more terrible?”
See, not paranoid, just cautious, and if you think otherwise you haven’t had enough people shoot at you.
“Yeah, and if the women I wanted to date were into that sort of thing it’d be great, but they’re more impressed that I can recite Shakespearian sonnets by memory in their ear.”
THERE WAS MUSIC playing; it climbed into my dream and pulled me out. I came to with a vague memory of water and a boat, and zombies juggling kittens that slashed and clawed through the air.
“You mean you’ve cursed him in absentia?”
everyone has a sad story, but they’ll still shoot you, or stab you, or tear your throat out with their teeth.
saccharine.
Let’s hear it for orders of execution and being fucking assassins with badges. It makes shooting people amazingly simpler.
