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She’s my responsibility.
I’m supposed to. It isn’t only my job, it’s my purpose. My entire being revolves around her.
She’s my person. Easy to be around. She doesn’t judge me. I can be myself.
He’s the only thing that keeps me sane most days.
He doesn’t judge. He doesn’t try to change me. Of all of the people in the world, he accepts me for who I am. And I’m terrified to lose that.
There is not a future where I am not here with her. It doesn’t exist. I won’t let it.
“I have you.”
I’m only crazy when I’m not around her.
He comforts me before I even know I’m hurt.
It’s hard to ignore how crazy hot Alexei is sometimes.
“Alexei.” He pauses, stopping me. “I know you’d never do anything to hurt her. I trust her with you, and that isn’t given lightly. I don’t know what happened, but I know it wasn’t your fault.”
She’s mine. My Lara.
Lara is where I leave her. She’s my anchor. My base.
The thought of being without him terrifies me.
“She’s worth it.” I’m firm with my answer.
“I need her back. I need her here, with me.”
“Jax. You don’t understand. I can’t live without her.”
“You found me.”
She is the calm to my storm.
She is all I see, all I’ve ever seen. I willingly gave up my soul to her a long time ago, because she is my person in this world. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I really want to kiss you,” he whispers.
The second his lips touch mine, sparks fire through me. I let him take charge, he tastes like cherry sweets and sin. Like everything I've always dreamed of.
Alexei has always had a way of making everything better.
“Nothing could ever tear us apart.” He confirms.
That she has been the only woman I have had eyes for.
I’d die for this woman.
“I need you,” she whispers in my ear, making a shiver run down my spine.
Mikhail glances in my direction. “Lara is lucky to have you. You take ‘ride or die’ pretty damn seriously for her.”
“I’ll do better next time, I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again.”
I cannot stand to lose the one person who holds me together, yet all I want to do is claim her and make her mine. Forever.
I don’t want to let go.
“I-I don’t know if I can stop. This might have taken my addiction to you a step beyond something we can go back from.”
“She’s tough as nails and a survivor.”
I always see her.
“I can’t lose you, Alexei.”
My first thought of the day and my last is always her. In fact, there probably isn’t a minute where she isn’t on my mind. “There is no one on this planet as special nor as beautiful on the inside and out as you, Lara. Your standards should be up in the stars, not in the pits of hell with me.”
All I want is him.
“She’s more than that. She’s important to me.”
He’s more to me than just some silly fling. I need him like air. Without him, I feel bitter, alone, and worthless. Imperfect. Unwanted.
I’d die for her, I’m obsessed with her,
I want to hear his voice. I miss him.
“You’re one mean woman, Lara. But for you, I will deliver stalker balls.”
I’ve never done any of that before, but I think about it often with Lara. It’s always her.
Seeing her naked would ruin me.
“You trust me with your life, right? You always have, always will?” I ask sternly. I never bring this harsher side out in front of her. I try to hide it from her, keep her away from the dark that plagues me. “You know I do, more than anyone else.” “But you don’t trust my words? When I say you’re beautiful, I mean it. I may be many things, Lara. A liar is not one of them, especially to you.”
I’m a fucking idiot. I know I want her.
That I am simply madly in love with him.
She makes me drunk on her.
Someone is watching me. But reaching to get my phone, I stop. There’s something about the sweet wrapper and Alexei’s words playing in a loop about protecting me. The distance between us physically. The damn sweet jar. It’s him.
My heart craves him. It always has, it always will. Without him my mind spins out of control. With him I am calm. And most of all, I am loved so fiercely. That could never be matched by another.
