How to Hug a Porcupine: Easy Ways to Love the Difficult People in Your Life (Little Book. Big Idea.)

by Debbie Joffe Ellis

don’t make the mistake of coming to the table with assumptions about what’s driving her behavior. Instead, allow her to explain her behavior in her own words. She will be far less defensive (your curiosity is a good thing) and you might just learn something!

a porcupine, blame is the opposite of trust and communication. For this reason, blame is one of the things porcupines fear most.

Be very specific about how your porcupine’s behavior affects you, but be expressive about your feelings, and don’t place blame or pass judgment.

Any discussion that promotes honesty, openness and a willingness to talk and change, is a “victory” for you and your porcupine. After all, you are a team.

An essential part of that preparation is the ability to differentiate between your porcupine and his behavior. They are not the same!