How to Hug a Porcupine: Easy Ways to Love the Difficult People in Your Life (Little Book. Big Idea.)

by Debbie Joffe Ellis

no one can upset us unless we allow them to.

What might it be like to deal with someone like me?

It’s our responsibility to make our needs clear to our loved ones, just as it is their responsibility to do the same with us.

Having a course of action will help keep you from becoming defensive, too.

This is a crucial mistake, for it’s in fact the motivation behind action that most needs to be addressed.

Instead, allow her to explain her behavior in her own words.

Interruptions are power-plays. They’re ways of suggesting that what you have to say is more important than what someone else has to say.

That is, we need to first show that we understand what we did or said, and then “own” up to it. Then, and only then, can we give an apology that is truly heartfelt.

Begin by isolating the issue at hand, striping all your emotional reactions away from it, and then get to the heart of the matter.