Fighting Temptation (Men of Honor, #1)

by K.C. Lynn

Each step brings me closer to the man I’m secretly in love with, my best friend Jaxson. We met when I moved here to Sunset Bay, South Carolina, just a little over two years ago. My mother had just passed away from cancer and I came to live with my grams. It still amazes me how fast I fell in love with this town, and how quickly I made some of the best friends I’ll ever have. A smile touches my lips as I recall the first time I laid eyes on Jaxson. My best friend, Kayla and I, had been sitting outside the ice cream shop, on a sweltering hot summer afternoon, when he came riding in on his motorcycle…

Thick, dark lashes frame magnificent ice-blue eyes, his olive-colored complexion complemented by shaggy, dark brown hair. It’s the kind of hair that makes my fingers itch to run through it, just to see if it feels as soft as it looks. His strong jaw is graced with a sexy five o’clock shadow. I’d heard a lot about Jaxson since moving here, all the girls spoke about him as if he was some sort of god, and now I know why.

She goes on to tell me that Jaxson is two years older than my sixteen and that he just graduated before the summer. I’m disappointed to learn that I won’t see him around school.

“His mom left when he was a kid, his dad a few years ago. I don’t know where; he was a real asshole—the town drunk.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to meet Jaxson that day, he was there meeting Melissa Carmichael. My blood heats just thinking her name. She’s always been such a bitch to me, especially after I became close with Jaxson. I hate to even think about what they did together after they left the ice cream shop that day. Although, that’s been the story of my life for the last two years – watching Jaxson with random girls. He’s not the relationship type, or so he says. I have a sneaking suspicion his mom leaving has something to do with that. The night I finally did get to meet him, well… it was the scariest night of my life. It was two weeks after seeing him at the ice cream shop. I had snuck out of my bedroom window after Grams went to sleep and walked to the cemetery to visit my mom. I had sat at her grave and talked to her. It was something I always found comforting and still do.

The pain I felt when she passed hadn’t faded, and I’d wondered if it ever would. I don’t remember how long I’d been crying for before I heard some rustling and laughter…

They drop me on my mother’s grave, the hard impact knocking the breath from my lungs. The one behind me pins my struggling arms above my head while Jace sits on my legs, restraining them. His hand wraps around my throat as he leans in close, a malicious smile curling his lips.

He rears back and slaps me, the impact is so hard that blood pools in my mouth and black spots dance before my eyes. “After I’m done fucking you, my buddy is going to get a turn, then we’re going to beat some manners into you.” He tears at my tank top, ripping the strap from my shoulder.

As he rises to his full height and turns toward me, I realize the dark avenging angel is none other than the town’s bad boy, Jaxson Reid.

He extends his battered hand to me. “I’m Jaxson Reid.” I put my shaking one in his. “Julia. Julia Sinclair.”

Since that night, Jaxson has taken care of me – protected me. He brought me back from the brink of pain and heartbreak after losing my mother. He reminded me what it was like to be happy again.

Our friendship surprises a lot of people because, other than Cooper, he has never befriended anyone else, and he definitely doesn’t have any friends that are girls. But Jaxson and I formed a bond, one so strong, it is unbreakable. I unconditionally and irrevocably love every damaged part of him. And for the boy who doesn’t believe in love, he will always and forever have mine.

“You’re going to tell me something bad, aren’t you?” His somber expression says it all. “It’ll be all right. It’s not that bad.” He pauses, expelling a heavy breath. “I’m leaving town. I’ve decided to enlist in the Navy. I want to be a SEAL.”

“Please understand. I need to do this. I need to get out of this fucking town; I don’t belong here. The only thing that kept me here as long as it has is you.” “How can you say that? This is your home, Jaxson. You grew up here.”

“When do you leave?” I ask. He straightens nervously, sending another dose of panic through me. “Jaxson?” “Saturday morning. I take the ferry to Bradsford then fly out from there.” “This Saturday? As in three days from now?” I screech.

me, I walk into the house and decide that I can’t let him leave without telling him how much I love him. Even if the consequences could potentially be damaging.

I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on her. I had heard about the new girl, all the guys spoke about how hot she was, and even placed bets on who was going to fuck her first.

I parked across the lot then took my helmet off to get a good look at her. It was like a jolt of electricity shot through my body and straight to my dick. Julia was not hot, she was fucking beautiful.

She had stared back at me with appreciation, something that I was used to. Yet, she caused a strange sensation in my chest – one I’d never felt before, and I fucking hated it. I learned at a young age that feelings and emotions were dangerous; they only made you weak. So I gave myself a mental slap and acknowledged her appreciation with a cocky smirk. When Melissa climbed on the back of my bike I took off and fucked her all night, trying to get the new girl out of my head… It didn’t work. Two weeks later, I walked out of Big Mike’s gym and heard a terrified scream echo from the graveyard across the street. A white-hot rage constricts my chest, just like it always does when I think about those fucking perverts on top of her, holding her down. Little did I know, that night would change my life forever.

Every time I was around her, she would destroy some of the darkness that lurked inside of me. She made the bad shit in my life seem not so terrible. Then before I knew it, I had fallen for a girl from another world. As badly as I wanted her, I tamped down my feelings and kept my dick in my pants, because I knew I’d never be good enough for her. Unfortunately, my father’s blood runs in me, and I refuse to taint her. She deserves everything good, everything I’m not.

So without her knowledge, I laid claim. I warned every guy to stay away from her, and they all did because no one was brave enough to fuck with me. As much as I’m going to miss her, it’s a good thing I’m leaving. My precious control is slipping and every day I’m finding it harder to be around her and not touch her the way I want to. The way I’ve dreamed about.

“I need you to keep your promise to watch out for her and take care of her. I mean it, Coop, if something happens to her because I wasn’t here, I’ll never forgive myself.” He leans forward, his expression hard. “Have I ever broken a promise to you? I told you I’ll watch out for her, and I will. Although, I can’t promise I’ll be able to control her dating life,” he adds with a smirk. I tense, my eyes narrowing. “Who in the hell said anything about dating? She’ll be too busy with school to worry about that. Besides, why would I care? As long as he’s good to her, I don’t give a shit who she sees.” The lie flows easily from my lips.

Wyatt has wanted Julia since she first moved here. I warned him long ago not to go anywhere near her. It’s no secret the shit he’s done to half the chicks in this town, I’ve seen the bruises. The thought of him laying one finger on her makes me fucking violent. “He’s already been warned to stay away from her. If he doesn’t, you better remind him.” “I’m a local cop now, Jaxson. I hate the thought too, but I can’t just beat the shit out of the guy. I’ll do what I can to stop her though, and if he hurts her in any way, well, everything I just said to you goes out the window. I’ll take him out. You know I will. I’ll just need to do it more inconspicuously is all,” he says matter of factly.

Kayla and Cooper are the all-American couple. Kayla with her long, blonde hair, big blue eyes and witty personality. Before Cooper joined the sheriff’s department he was the town’s football hero, and let’s just say that next to Jaxson, he is definitely the hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on. With his warm green eyes, brown hair and killer smile that girls fall all over themselves for, much to Kayla’s dismay. I smile when I think of all the seductive tricks she used to snatch him.

Benjamin Sinclair, 1952, 18 years old. “He served ten years before he was honorably discharged. He could have stayed, but after I had Julia’s mother, Annabelle, I wanted him home safe with us. Who knew it would end up being a drunk driver that took him from us.”

She takes my face between both of her hands and gives me a kind smile. “You’re a good boy, Jaxson, never think any differently. Julia is lucky to have you; she’s much stronger than you give her credit for. She needs you in her life, though, you make sure you come home to her, you hear?” I nod, but feel bad doing it because I’m not sure I will be able to keep that promise.

“I hear you’re leaving soon, Reid. It’ll be nice to finally get to know Julia. This town will be better off without you, and so will she.” I glare at Wyatt, angry on Jaxson’s behalf. Right when I’m about to say something, Jaxson moves me to the side then grabs Wyatt by the shirt, slamming him into the wall. Oh shit. “Jaxson, don’t!”

His hard eyes train on me, pinning me in place. “Jules, you have to promise me that you won’t go anywhere near that asshole. Not ever.” “What is it with you two? Why do y’all hate each other so much?” “Just promise me you’ll stay away from him. If he gives you any problems you go to Cooper right away, okay?” I’m a little surprised at how intense he is about this. “I’ll be fine. I’m pretty sure he only talks to me now just to get under your skin. He’s always been nothing but polite to me.” “That’s because he wants in your fucking pants! Christ, Julia, will you just trust me on this? I know shit about him that you don’t.”

He reaches over the console of the car and wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him and hugging me tightly. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you,” he murmurs. My heart warms, and throat tightens. I’m curious what he knows about Wyatt that has him so concerned for my safety.

I’m attending college in Charleston to get my teaching degree and am really excited about it. “I’m not really looking forward to four more years of school, but I’m hoping the elementary school will have a position for me when I’m done,” I tell him.

Chuckling, he accepts the gift and opens it, revealing the stainless steel chain with the metal pendant. “It’s a medallion of Archangel Michael,” I explain. “It’s for protection. I had Father Gabriel bless it for you. Promise me you will always wear it, no matter what you’re doing or where you are, you’ll always have it with you.”

“Please take it, Jax, you need it more than I do. It gives me comfort knowing you’ll have it.” “Damn it, Julia,” he breathes, resting his forehead on mine.

I reach up, tracing the perfect outline of his lips and reveal the one secret I’ve been keeping from him. “I love you, Jaxson.” His body tenses above me, horror washing over his expression. Uh-oh. Dread twists my stomach into a painful knot, my heart sinking at the quick rejection.

“Do you really think I just told you I loved you because my emotions are all over the place? Seriously?” He drives his hand through his hair in frustration. “I know you care about me but—” “No, Jaxson, I told you ‘I love you’, there’s a big difference!” “You don’t love me. My leaving is screwing with both our heads.” “Don’t you dare tell me what I feel. If you think I said ‘I love you’ just because you had your fingers inside of me, then you don’t know me as well as I thought you did.”

“Are you really that disgusted with me?” Fury hardens his expression. “Watch it, Julia, you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” “Oh really? I don’t? Then tell me why you have screwed almost every girl in this town and act like it’s no big deal, but then you touch me and you have so much regret and disgust on your face it looks like you’re going to be sick.” “I do not feel disgust. You’re different than everyone else!”

As soon as I close the door behind me, I shatter, knowing I just lost the one person who will forever hold my heart. Jaxson I watch the one person who means the most to me in the entire fucking world run out of my life, and I don’t stop her because I know in the end it’s for the best.

I fight the urge to go in after her and tell her how much she means to me because I know in the end it still won’t change why we can’t be together. I wish things were different, I wish I had different blood running through my veins. I wish I were good enough.

I haven’t cried since I was seven years old, and I swore I never would again. But that’s what Julia does to me – what she has always done to me – makes me feel shit I thought I was incapable of feeling. And I just fucked it up. I lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I throw myself at him, my arms wrapping around his neck and legs around his waist. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me,” I cry. “It’s okay that you don’t love me back. I just need you in my life. Please don’t leave hating me.” Every word falls on a desperate plea as I try to make things right again.

“I could never hate you, Jules. You mean more to me than anyone else in my life. If I had it in me to love someone, it would be you.”

I frame his face between my hands and say one more thing before letting him leave. “I’m going to miss you. But I want you to know that when you come back, you will always have someone here waiting for you.”

Five Years Later

My head drops back on the headrest behind me, my eyes closing as I think back to my phone conversation with Kayla that happened less than ten hours ago…

I falter at the sound of tears in her voice. “Kayla? What is it, what’s wrong?” “It’s Jaxson, something has happened.” My heart plummets straight to my stomach, my legs giving out beneath me as I drop to my knees. “No!” I whisper brokenly. “Listen, he’s alive, but he’s been hurt really bad.”

All Coop knew was that he was on a rescue mission that went bad. He’s at a hospital in Germany. It sounds like he is in rough shape.” My world shatters with every devastating word she breathes. “Cooper left early this morning to go see him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but Jaxson wanted this kept from you and I had to make sure Coop was gone before I said anything. I think you have a right to know.”

“Love can be complicated, I agree with that.” Unsure of how to respond, I nod then lay my head back again, remembering Jaxson’s graduation. I had found out about it only a few days before from Cooper. He wanted to go, but couldn’t leave work. I was hurt that Jaxson never told me about it but there was no way I wasn’t going to be there for him. So I had booked a flight to leave that Saturday morning and decided to stay the night in hopes Jaxson would be able to do something after. It was a night that changed my life forever…

“He’s graduating top of this class, and may be one of the strongest men I’ve ever had come into this program. His dedication and hard work impressed not only myself, but many other senior officers and fellow SEALs. Every man sitting here has proven himself, but this officer made history by setting record times in his physical training. So with that being said, I’d like you all to congratulate Officer Jaxson Reid.”

“I guess I’m going to have to kill Cooper,” Jaxson murmurs in my ear, his deep voice sending a delicious shiver down my spine. “What are you doing here, Jules?”

I sigh dramatically. “If you don’t want to see me I guess I’ll be on my way then.” As I turn away he grabs my arm with a growl. “I never said I wasn’t happy to see you, I’m just saying you didn’t need to go to the trouble to be here.”

Unfortunately, our moment gets interrupted. “Well, well, well, let me guess – Julia, in the flesh. I started to think maybe you weren’t real, but looking at you now I can see you’re very real.”