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Jaxson glares at him but introduces us. “Jules, this nosey, annoying dickhead is Sawyer Evans.” I giggle at the introduction. “And the less annoying one is Cade Walker, both are my roommates. We were also grouped together as a team during training.”
He nods. “I know which one.” We stand up and are saying our good-byes when a girl comes stumbling toward us, her blood shot eyes on Jaxson only. I feel him stiffen as she approaches. “Hi, Jaxson, I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight. Lucky me,” she croons, her finger running down his arm.
Before I’m able to tell the bitch where to go, Jaxson steps in front of me, getting in her face. “Back off! You don’t know anything about her. You got a problem with me, fine, but you fucking leave her out of it.” It takes her down a notch. She shifts on her feet and takes a nervous swallow. “I’m sorry, Jax, I’ve just missed you.” Jax? No one calls him that but me and it sends my already heated blood rising to a dangerous temperature. I hate that I’m caught up in this embarrassing scene and everyone is staring. But most of all, I’m mad that Jaxson is nothing more than a manwhore.
I don’t wait for their goodbyes before I get the hell out of there. The moment I step outside into the fresh air, I inhale a deep breath and try to shove aside the angry hurt that is lodged in my throat.
“Why the hell are you mad at me?” He is so oblivious it makes me want to slap the stupid out of him. Instead, I round on him, my angry eyes colliding with his. “Did you screw her?” The question flies out of my mouth before I’m able to stop it.
“What the fuck does that mean?” “It means that all of you have moved on but me. For the longest time it was always the four of us – Kayla and Cooper, you and me. Kayla still has Cooper. You moved here and made new friends and started a new life so easily. I just had it thrown in my face that what happened between us six months ago means nothing to you. While back home I can’t move on because I can’t stop thinking about you and missing you. I know it’s not your fault that you don’t care for me the same way I care for you, but it still hurts damn it!” The last of my words fall on a sob.
“I’m sorry I called you stupid, Jaxson. You’re not stupid; you’re the smartest person I know,” I apologize. “And I’m sorry I called you a manwhore, even if you are, I shouldn’t have said it. I was just jealous.”
We make it back to my hotel fifteen minutes later. I head into the bathroom to freshen up and wash my tear-streaked face.
His pained groan fills the room. My head twists in his direction and I find his eyes glued to my ass. His expression is filled with sheer dominance and… restraint. It’s now that I finally realize what has him so uncomfortable.
“You say that I mean more to you than any other girl, but then why do they get a part of you that I don’t?” His eyes finally lift to mine, but before he can say anything, I continue, “It’s no secret I’d give myself to you. I’ve wanted you for so long that some days I worry I’m going to die a virgin because you’re the only one I want to be with. It’s you who doesn’t want me.” “Are you fucking crazy? I want you more than I want my next breath, but I can’t do that to you. You ask about those other girls and it’s because I don’t give a shit about them, but with you, I care. I care too fucking
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Gathering up all the courage I can muster, I stand from the bed and start toward him. He glances at the door nervously, as if considering running out. I don’t give him the chance. My arms wrap around his waist as I reveal something to him that we both already know. “I want my first time to be with you, and I want it to happen tonight.”
“What’s wrong with being a virgin?” he asks gruffly. I glare at him, irritated that he is denying us what we both want. “Fine.” I unwind my arms from his waist, breaking the moment. “I’m not going to beg you. I guess when I get back, I’ll just have to find the first willing guy to take me home,” I say sweetly, knowing it will get under his skin.
I turn back to face him, letting him see my truth. “I want it to be you, not someone else. I know you can’t give me forever, but you can give me who I want it to be with.”
I lift my cheek to look at him and see he’s sound asleep. He looks so peaceful, something that is rare to see. I press a gentle kiss on his mouth, then whisper the words I didn’t dare say when he was awake. “I love you.” My head rests back down on his chest, and as I drift off, a dream hits me fast, one where I swear he whispers the same words back to me.
It was also the last time I saw Jaxson. We kept in touch with emails and phone calls but neither of us could get away to see each other. He was sent out on missions shortly after, and it seemed he’s stayed gone since. Sometimes I think he’s avoided me because, obviously, our relationship changed that night, no matter how much we hoped it wouldn’t.
I’m met by an enraged Cooper, his long legs striding toward me. “I’m going to fucking kill my girlfriend!”
“Is he okay?” A terrified sob tumbles past my lips before I can stop it. Cooper releases a heavy breath of his own, pinching the bridge of his nose, something he often does when he’s stressed. “He’s going to be okay, over time. He’s really fucked up, Julia, you shouldn’t have come.”
“Because he doesn’t want you here.” I flinch, feeling like I’ve been slapped.
“Goddamn it, Julia, listen to me! He knows you’re here, and he’s refusing to see you. No matter how hard you fight you’re not going to see him. I’m sorry.”
Stepping back, I look up to see his eyes dark with regret. “You tell him if he doesn’t allow me to see him then he can forget about ever speaking to me again,” I say, meaning it. “Don’t be foolish.”
I haven’t seen him in five fucking years, Cooper! I’m serious; if he sends me away after everything we’ve been through, then… I’m done.”
The realization that our friendship is over has a sob shattering my chest. “Goddamn Kayla,” he snaps furiously. “No! Goddamn you! And goddamn Jaxson! Kayla’s my only true friend.” I don’t bother sticking around any longer, knowing it’s useless. I storm off, ignoring Cooper when he tries calling me back and leave behind every beautiful memory I ever had with Jaxson.
My eyes narrow at the question. “Would you let Kayla see you like this?” He shakes his head, his hard expression easing. “No, you’re right. I just feel like shit, you didn’t see her when she left.” “I’ll make it up to her.” “I hope you do, man, because as mad as I am at my girlfriend right now, I know she’s going to be way more pissed at me when Julia tells her I sent her away.” I’m pissed at myself but I can’t let her see me like this. It will ruin what’s left of me.
“I wish you wouldn’t refuse the drugs,” Cooper says, taking the bowl from me. “Nothing else is getting pumped into my fucking body. Not ever again,”
Lying back, I close my eyes and think about Julia. For the last week, it was the memories I have of her that kept me alive. Every time one of those assholes came in to torture us, I would retreat into my mind and think about her. I’d think about our nights together on the beach. I’d remember the way her eyes lit up when she smiled, and the peace I always felt from just being around her. And most of all, I’d remember the sound of her laugh. I’d let the beautiful melody wash over me as I felt every lash that tore down on my skin. There were times I thought I’d never see her again, and that was
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1 Year Later
“Jaxson?” I whisper, wondering if I’m hallucinating. The vase slips from my shaking hands and shatters all over the floor by my feet, but I remain frozen, shock rooting me to my spot.
“What are you doing here?” “I came to see you.”
“No, you come on! How dare you think after what happened a year ago that you can waltz right into my house like nothing is wrong and eat my cookies.” I point at the baking sheet, noting the two that are missing. “These are for someone else, not you!” “I didn’t just waltz into your house, you fucking invited me in, not even knowing who was at your door. What the hell is wrong with you? I could have been anyone.”
“When I got that phone call from Kayla, telling me you were hurt, my whole world stopped because nothing mattered to me more than you. Even after you stayed away from me for so long, you still mattered to me. Do you have any idea what it felt like when you had Cooper get rid of me? It was a shitty way to find out I didn’t mean anything to you anymore.” My voice catches, but I will myself not to cry. I swore a year ago I would never shed another tear over him again.
“Speak up, I can’t hear you.” “Wyatt.” This time it’s loud and clear. He stares back at me with a calmness that scares the hell out of me. “That’s not funny, Julia.”
“You fucking promised me. You promised me you would stay the hell away from him! What are you thinking?” I rip my arm back, my own anger sparking again. “And I kept that promise. For five years he asked me out, and I always declined because of you… for you. But that promise went out the window a year ago when you threw me away.”
“She’s no longer your concern, Reid, she’s mine now.” Wyatt’s arrogant reply ticks me off.
“This isn’t over. I’m not giving up.” Without another word, he releases me and walks out.
“Don’t, Wyatt. Don’t make me choose, because if you do, it won’t be you. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Jaxson, but no one tells me who I can be friends with.” There’s a wild anger in his eyes that has a shiver of apprehension creeping up my spine. I’ve never seen him like this before. It’s then that Jaxson’s words invade me.
Cooper stands too and advances on her. “That’s not what this is about. Jaxson and I know shit about him that you girls don’t.”
Explains why the creeper is a lawyer, knows loopholes?
“I’m talking about physical danger. Coop and I have seen the bruises he’s left on girls. If you want to protect her, like you say you do, then you will stop picking a fight with me and tell me right now where the fuck they went!”
“Everything okay, Wyatt?” My question startles him out of his distraction. “Yes, sorry… so I have some big news to share. My dad has decided to run for mayor,” he tells me. Mr. Jennings running for mayor scares me, especially after Wyatt’s earlier comment about his position of power.
My stomach tightens when I see none other than Melissa Carmichael rubbing herself against Jaxson like a dog in heat. This night just keeps getting better and better.
Let me guess Wyatt texted her to distract Jax?
She’s Jaxson’s age, so two years older than me, but she looks ten years older. I’ve heard rumors that she has a drug problem, and the way she’s gone downhill, it wouldn’t surprise me.
I lick my lips, trying to remain calm. “Wyatt, let go of my arm.” My body shoots forward as he jerks me against him. “You aren’t going to fucking do this to me. I’ve been patient for years while you have been nothing more than a cocktease. I’m not letting you go just because that asshole is back in town.”
“My name is Julia, I’m twenty-four years old, and you are Jaxson… my ex-best friend. Now shut up and leave me alone.” She rolls away from me and is out cold again. Damn! She’s pissy when she’s tired. I take my spot back on the floor once again.
surprised when I pull out a framed picture of Julia and me from my graduation. All the memories from that day come flooding back.
one of the reasons why I reciprocated, wanting to be there for hers. It had been three years since I’d last seen her. When I arrived back home I found out she had a boyfriend, someone more in her league, a med student. She had no idea I was there; I didn’t want to fuck up her relationship. And if I was being honest, I didn’t want her to realize just how different I was from that guy.
I shake my head. “She needs someone who can love her the way she deserves. I don’t know how to, it’s something I was never around.” “Jaxson, love isn’t always something you learn, it’s something that you feel. And I know you feel it, I can see it in your eyes every time you look at her.” “I’m really messed up, Margaret, even more so after what happened in Iraq.” I’m uncomfortable admitting this to her, but I’m trying to make her understand.
The woman is testing my limits, and I haven’t even been around her for twenty-four hours. Clearly, it’s going to be harder to restrain myself than I thought. I need to keep a clear head; I’m trying to fix the mess I made, not screw it up more.
It doesn’t help that it’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone. Justin is the only person I have slept with other than Jaxson. That was almost two years ago, and for the man being a med student, he had absolutely no idea where a woman’s clitoris was located. Or maybe he just didn’t care. I dated him for nine months in hopes of getting over Jaxson. It didn’t work, of course, but at least I wasn’t alone and the company was nice.
Grace moved to Sunset Bay a little over a year ago. Kayla and I hit it off with her right away, and we all quickly became friends.
Grace is alone with no other family. I’m hoping she will open up once she gets more comfortable with us.
“Then answer my question! Why did you stay away from me for six years?” “Because I didn’t think I could keep my dick in my pants, all right?”
