More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
I unconditionally and irrevocably love every damaged part of him. And for the boy who doesn’t believe in love, he will always and forever have mine.
The only thing that kept me here as long as it has is you.”
“Are we okay?” he asks.
They don’t understand that she’s different; she always has been.
Julia was not hot, she was fucking beautiful.
She was different from anyone I’d ever met. I never thought someone so good and genuine existed until her. The more I saw of her, the more addicted I became. Every time I was around her, she would destroy some of the darkness that lurked inside of me. She made the bad shit in my life seem not so terrible. Then before I knew it, I had fallen for a girl from another world.
Even though I didn’t ever plan to take her, I made sure no one else had her either.
“I need you to keep your promise to watch out for her and take care of her. I mean it, Coop, if something happens to her because I wasn’t here, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Wyatt has wanted Julia since she first moved here. I warned him long ago not to go anywhere near her. It’s no secret the shit he’s done to half the chicks in this town, I’ve seen the bruises. The thought of him laying one finger on her makes me fucking violent.
I’m doing this so I have no regrets.”
But I wouldn’t let myself dwell on it because no one had a mom out there like I did.”
“You’re a good boy, Jaxson, never think any differently. Julia is lucky to have you; she’s much stronger than you give her credit for. She needs you in her life, though, you make sure you come home to her, you hear?”
I nod, but feel bad doing it because I’m not sure I will be able to keep that promise.
“I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you,” he murmurs.
“It’s a medallion of Archangel Michael,” I explain. “It’s for protection. I had Father Gabriel bless it for you. Promise me you will always wear it, no matter what you’re doing or where you are, you’ll always have it with you.”
Kinda weird that I have one too…
“Yeah, my mom gave it to me.”
“I love you, Jaxson.”
“Jules, I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I got carried away.”
“What we just did… it shouldn’t have happened,” he says, shattering my soul into a thousand pieces. “Fuck, I can’t believe I did this.”
“Listen, our emotions are all over the place right now. I should have stopped—”
“I know you care about me but—”
“You don’t love me. My leaving is screwing with both our heads.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what I feel. If you think I said ‘I love you’ just because you had your fingers inside of me, then you don’t know me as well as I thought you did.”
“Damn it, Julia. Listen, you may think that you love me—” “Don’t fucking patronize me,” I scream back, finally reaching my breaking point. Shaking my head, I begin packing up the blanket, realizing this was a huge mistake. “I’ve been in love with you since I was seventeen years old, but I kept it to myself because I didn’t want to mess up our friendship.” I turn on him, trying to mask my pain with anger. “Are you really that disgu...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
“I do not feel disgust. You’re different than everyone else!”
“This is about me, Julia, not you. I’m too fucked-up to love you,” he says, his voice completely broken.
“I could never hate you, Jules. You mean more to me than anyone else in my life. If I had it in me to love someone, it would be you.”
“Julia, you have to let go of me.”
But I want you to know that when you come back, you will always have someone here waiting for you.”
“Really? I didn’t know best friends carry pictures of each other in their wallets,”
“You’re wrong. Yes, I’ve moved on in some ways, but don’t think for one second that I’ve moved on from you. I think about you every damn day. That night with you on the beach fucking haunts me, and that bitch means nothing to me, just like the rest of them. I know you don’t understand that but it’s the truth.”
“I didn’t even notice; she’s someone I went home with months ago when I was drunker than shit, and she hasn’t left me alone since. You know I don’t repeat women. She means absolutely nothing to me, and she now knows to stay the fuck away from me.”
Hopefully one day my heart will believe it, too.
“Are you fucking crazy? I want you more than I want my next breath, but I can’t do that to you. You ask about those other girls and it’s because I don’t give a shit about them, but with you, I care. I care too fucking much.”
“I’m not better than you, I’m better with you.”
“I know you deserve all that romantic shit. Like flowers and candles, everything that I don’t have right now, but I swear I’ll be good to you, Julia. I’ll take care of you.”
“I may not be able to give you the forever you deserve, but I fucking promise you, I will never stop being your friend.”
“That’s how you always look to me.”
“Don’t you know by now, Julia, I’d give you anything you wanted if I could?”
“Because he doesn’t want you here.”
“Goddamn it, Julia, listen to me! He knows you’re here, and he’s refusing to see you. No matter how hard you fight you’re not going to see him. I’m sorry.”
“You tell him if he doesn’t allow me to see him then he can forget about ever speaking to me again,” I say, meaning it.
“I’m sick of this macho bullshit. I’ve gone through a lot to be here, and I haven’t seen him in five fucking years, Cooper! I’m serious; if he sends me away after everything we’ve been through, then… I’m done.”
“You are my business and you always will be. Whether you like it or not.”
“A friend,” I tell him, my voice tight.
My chest tightens when I realize just how much I’ve missed her.
It had been three years since I’d last seen her. When I arrived back home I found out she had a boyfriend, someone more in her league, a med student. She had no idea I was there; I didn’t want to fuck up her relationship. And if I was being honest, I didn’t want her to realize just how different I was from that guy. How unworthy I was—even of her friendship.
She’s the only woman I’ve ever held. It’s a foreign concept to me, but feels natural and so goddamn good with her.
“If you had tried to have sex with me, Julia, you would still be feeling me inside of you.”
“I’m not leaving you, Julia, so forget about it!” “You already did!”
