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I hope she’s right because if not, the next time it might not be an animal hanging from the ceiling. It could very well be me.
To make matters worse, I’ve been feeling terrible lately. The stress is really starting to get to me.
my stomach suddenly rebelling.
“Because I told you I would pay you back for Germany.”
Pink’s duet with Nate Russ, “Just Give Me A Reason”.
“Wait!” she says when I begin to lift her. She reaches under her pillow and pulls out my pendant. “I got it back from that guy. I saw it hanging out of his pocket when he was dragging me, so I grabbed it. He thought I was trying to take his keys, that’s why he hit me.” I stare down at the tarnished medal in her hand, pain restricting my chest at the sacrifice she made for me. “Thank you,” I choke out.
My hand moves to the side of his face. “All you need to do is look in the mirror and you’ll be reminded of the good this world has to offer.” He closes his eyes, wanting to shut me out, but I don’t let him. I kiss across his jaw, bringing my lips to his ear. “You’re the best man I’ve ever known, Jaxson. You’re strong, honorable, and loyal. The best thing that ever happened to that little girl was having you in the wrong place at the right time. Just like me.”
“Don’t leave me,” he rasps, the desperate plea tugging at my heart. I hug him close. “I’ll never leave you. I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me.” “Forever,” he mumbles in my neck. “Forever,” I repeat the word, my heart filling with peace.
“Actually, no. You’re pregnant.”
She smiles. “You’re pregnant.”
“Yes, which is most likely how you got pregnant, it regulated your cycles, helping you to ovulate. This is very unusual, but I have heard of it happening before. However, you have to stop taking them now.” I’m pregnant.
“Lucky? Julia, there’s nothing lucky about this. Fuck!” he bellows, storming into the kitchen.
“None of this is okay, Julia. Not for you, not for me, and especially not for the fucking kid. Do you not remember who my father is?”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m exactly like him, because that’s all I knew growing up. Why do you think I said I never fucking wanted kids? What part did you not understand?”
“Don’t put words into my mouth, Julia.”
“I’m telling you I don’t want the fucking baby! But you’re not listening to me, goddamn it!” He loses control. His fist slams into the fridge repeatedly before moving to grab my crystal vase full of flowers and throwing it to smash against the wall.
“Good, it’s about fucking time!”
“I’ve told you for a long time that you should have stayed the fuck away, but you didn’t listen, you kept trying to make yourself believe that—” His words die abruptly.
doesn’t want the baby.” Saying the words out loud is torture. “I’m pregnant, Sawyer, but he doesn’t want us,”
I shake my head, not knowing what to believe anymore. I was so certain that he did, but after what just happened, I’m not sure anymore. Or maybe the sad truth is, it doesn’t matter if he does, because maybe love isn’t enough.
“He said, ‘Just so you know, son,’” she mimics in a deep voice, “‘whatever you do to my daughter tonight, I do to you later.’”
“Are you kidding me? From what you told me about Julia, she’s going to be a rockin’ mom. But having you for a father? Well, no one will love and protect that kid like you. If someone ever tried to mess with your child, I’d feel real sorry for the poor bugger. If I didn’t love my dad so much, I’d totally pick you. Hence, naming you the big brother instead,” she adds with a wink.
“Please don’t. The last thing you should ever feel when it comes to me is guilt. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even be alive right now, or God knows where I would be. Even if it was the most awful experience of my life, I’m not letting it define me and you shouldn’t either. I’ve taken my life back, and it’s all thanks to you.”
“Please don’t leave me, I’m so sorry, so fucking sorry. I love you so much. Please, Julia, wake up!”
A warm gentle pressure weighs on my tummy. It doesn’t take me long to realize it’s Jaxson’s hand. “I’m going to let you know now, kid, I’m probably going to fuck up, a lot.” I hear him whisper. “I had a real shitty father growing up so I never learned how to be a good dad. Thankfully, you have an amazing mom, so hopefully she overshadows all of the mistakes I’ll make.”
“I promise though,” he continues quietly, “I’ll try really hard to make those mistakes few and far between. I promise I’ll always love you, and I’ll always protect you. I’ll kick anyone’s ass if they try to hurt you, even if it’s just your feelings.”
He drops his head in his arms with a groan. “See, I’m already fucking up. Listen to how much I’m swearing. Your first word is probably going to be shit.”
Because the truth is, Jules, I do love you. I’ve probably loved you longer than you’ve loved me; you’re just the one who said it first. I wanted to tell you so many times. But I was too scared because the last person I ever said those words to left me, and she never fucking came back.”
“The thing is, I never felt like I was even good enough to be your friend, let alone love you. And honestly, I still think that. I know I’m not, but I also know that no one will love you and protect you like I will. If you give me another chance, I’ll work every day at trying to be the person you and our baby deserve.” His hand moves to my tummy now. “I’m still fucking terrified about being a father, but I promise I will love and protect our baby with everything I am. I already do love him… her—whatever it is.”
“I did this for you, and when our baby gets old enough I will push them too, every night after supper.”
“You know me better than that. I’m someone who demands, not asks. But if you say yes, I promise to love you forever, and push you on this swing every night for the rest of your life.”
“Every other woman was ruined for me the moment I laid eyes on you. You have always been mine, and you always will be.”
