More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“It’s never too late, because I will never give up on you.”
“Did you kick his ass?”
“Damn straight, and I’m not done with him either.” “Good boy,” she praises, patting his shoulder.
She pats the side of my face, a lot more gentle than the pat that was just delivered to my head. “And while you’re asking for forgiveness, you may as well tell her you love her.”
“Oh don’t look at me like that. I’ve always known you love her, Jaxson. I’ve waited a long time for you to come to terms with it, but you’re a little slow on the uptake,” she snickers.
“Jaxson, love isn’t always something you learn, it’s something that you feel. And I know you feel it, I can see it in your eyes every time you look at her.”
“All I’m saying is, for once think with your heart instead of your head. See where that leads you.”
“No! He’s Julia’s man, now get outta here!”
“He would have liked you, Jaxson. I told you this before and I meant it, you’re a lot like him. I knew the moment I met you, you were right for my Julia.”
“No, damn it! I probably should, but I don’t. That was the best fucking night of my life.”
“Because there was a point when I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, and the thought fucking ripped me apart.”
“I swore to myself that if I got out of there alive I’d fix the mess I made with you. I can’t live without you, Julia. I’ll fix this, even if it kills me trying.”
“I’ll get us back to what we had, Julia, I promise,”
He’s right, as much as I want him, now is not the time. If we are ever intimate again, it will be his move and his alone.
“Don’t ever leave me again, because if you do I might not survive it.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He promises,
And she’s been banged more times than a snooze button on a Monday morning.”
But I know it’s not fair to Julia; she deserves to have a life, a family. That’s something she can never have with me, because no way in hell do I ever plan on having kids. My bloodline stops with me, the thought of fucking a kid up like my father did to me makes me sick.
“Don’t cry for me, Jules,” he says, his voice gruff as he rubs my back.
“After seeing the tattoo don’t you understand that you did? The angel is you, Julia. You were always there with me in the darkness. Every time those fuckers came in to torture us, I went into my mind and thought about you.” My breath seizes in my lungs, his words stealing my breath. “I would think about your smile and your eyes,” he says, his thumb brushing my cheek. “Then I would think about the night I was buried inside your warm body, and I’d completely lose myself in you. It made everything I went through bearable, it made me fight to get the fuck out of there.”
“What do you want me to say, Julia? Do I want to fuck you? Yeah, I do, but what do we do after that?”
“Because one day you’re going to want to get married and have kids, something I never plan to have.”
“Yeah, well, as much as I really want kids one day it’s never going to happen, because I can’t have children.”
“I have polycystic ovary syndrome,” I tell him, my throat tight. “I found out after I came back from your graduation. I had a physical with my doctor after we… well you know, and it came up. I don’t ovulate because I don’t have regular menstrual cycles. It’s why I am on the pill. The doctor told me my chances of ever having children are slim to none.”
“You never lost me, Jaxson, you pushed me away. There’s a difference.” Slipping out from his grasp, I walk away.
“I totally forgot… friends only,” I give myself a tap on the head and let out a dramatic sigh.
“I remember your mother, Julia, she too was very pretty. I can only imagine the disappointment she feels from beyond the grave.”
“Oh fuck that! I’ve had my issues too, man, life isn’t perfect for anyone. You guys need to pull your heads out of your asses, because one day it might be too late. If I had someone that wanted me, like Julia does you, there would be no doubt I would take that shit, issues and all.”
“This is Sarah Miller, my sister’s friend. She’s a jewelry designer. I’m here picking up your fucking engagement ring from her.”
“I’m telling you, Jaxson, somebody is going to fill that position sooner than later. You can’t expect her to be alone for the rest of her life. So if I were you, I’d pull your head out of your ass and lay your claim before it’s too late.”
“I’m going to take you home and bury myself so deep inside that sweet pussy of yours. My scent will cling to every part of you. Then every fucking guy in the world will know you’re mine.”
“You’ve always been mine, in every way that matters.”
“I don’t know what the future holds for us, Jules, but I think this week has proven we can’t go back to what we had before.”
“Then we’ll make a new us.”
I nod and tamp down the panic threatening to choke me. Please don’t let me fuck this up.
God, I fucking love the taste of her. I could kiss this girl for the rest of my life and it still wouldn’t be long enough.
“Do I need to wear a condom, Julia?” I’ve always worn one, but knowing she can’t get pregnant, I want to have nothing between us as I take her.
“I’ll never stay away again, Julia, I can’t. I need you as much as I need my next fucking breath, so get used to feeling me, because you’re mine.”
I never want to move from this spot, I want to stay inside of her for the rest of my life.
Secondly, I thought you understood you were different to me than everyone else. I mean christ, I have you fucking tattooed on my damn back.”
“You feel this? Do you feel how perfect this is? This is the only pussy I want to feel around my dick—the only one. I could be the last man on the fucking planet having my pick, and I would always, only, pick you.”
At this moment I desperately want to tell him how much I love him. Tell him that I never stopped, and I never will, because it’s the god’s honest truth. I will love this man until the day I die, but I know he isn’t ready to hear that, not yet.
He makes love to me with a tenderness I have never known, and I know in this moment, with every fiber of my being, that Jaxson Reid loves me as much as I love him.
“Yeah, and because of that she just got blindsided. Listen, Jaxson, you need to think hard about this. Is this something that’s worth hurting her over? I feel the same way as you do—I want to help. But let’s face it, if we don’t go, someone else will. It isn’t like the mission will fail if we say no. If we were still in the Navy then this wouldn’t even be a question, we would haul our asses out there and do what we needed to do. But we aren’t anymore; and for a damn good reason too, if you ask me.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep! You can’t promise you will come back to me. Something could happen to you. Look what happened last time.” Her anger quickly turns to agony. She drops back down, her shattered sobs slicing me right down the middle. “I’ve never asked anything from you. I’ve supported you in everything you’ve chosen to do, even if I didn’t like it. But I’m begging you now, please don’t do this, please don’t leave again. I won’t survive if something happens to you.”
I’m too much of a pussy to say them because the last woman I said them to left and never came back.
Long brown hair tumbles past her slender shoulders, framing her perfect tits while a light sheen of sweat covers her skin, giving it a glowing affect. With her eyes closed and face tilted up, her expression soft and sweet, she looks like a goddamn angel. My angel.
I have no idea how I went so many years without this, but I know I never will again. I’d die without her.
“You own me, Julia, every fucking part of me.” I look up at her, letting her see what I so cowardly can’t say.
I may not be able to give her everything she deserves, but I’m more than capable of giving her that.
