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Panic like I’ve never felt in my life snaps my shoulder blades together and freezes me in place. Fuck no. This isn’t how it’s going to end.
Life is slowly leaving Lia, and soon, it’ll be all gone. Everything about her will be only a part of my memories. Not if I have a say in it. She might have jumped from a cliff to escape me, but that won’t be happening in this life. She’s my wife. My son’s mother. Fucking mine. And I’ll go through hell itself if it means keeping her there.
I know why she thought about giving up. To leave me. I was suffocating her, she said. I was torturing her.
My anger turned into rage and I had to take a step—or a few—back so I wouldn’t hurt her to the point of no return. I hated what she had done. I hated her sometimes. And because of that, I apparently tortured her, smothered her, and drove her to the edge of a cliff where death was better than being with me.
How will I be able to take a step in a different direction now? Because I have to or I will lose her for good.
“She was suffering and you knew it, but you chose to believe she cheated on you and let her bear your ruthless wrath. When the fuck could she even cheat on you when we shadowed her every step? She lost her previous life and was adapting to yours. She never tried to escape after that one time, because deep
down, she wanted to be with you and Jeremy, but you had to suffocate her.”
I stare back at Lia. They think I’m doing this to keep her in the dark, when everything I’ve done was to protect her.
I make a vow to get her back, to make things right. Somehow.
That there’s no way I’m leaving Lia alone.
Lia and I will write our own story, and for that to happen, she needs to stay by my side.
Deep down, I know I need to let her go. Even if only temporarily. Even if it means shredding a fucking piece of my chest.
I can feel her. She’s become a part of me.
Lia didn’t just challenge me, she also seeped under my skin and clashed into my bones. Now, I have to let her go for her own good. Because even though I need her in my life and crave the softness she brings to my ragged edges, I have apparently cut her too deep that I didn’t only reach the flesh, but I also severed tendons and veins.
I told her I would be there for her until her scars healed, but I ended up adding a few of my own.
It never gets any easier. Not the part about watching from afar. Or the part about going to an empty home without her.
I miss her. I miss my Lia, and the fact that she doesn’t remember me has been eating at my soul like the crashing waves that swallowed her that night.
heart. Hope blossoms in my chest because I know, I just know that I can have my wife back.
know, I just know that I can have my wife back.
I wrap both of my hands around his wrist, staring up at him, waiting, imploring the Adrian I think I’ve lost. Turns out I haven’t. Even as Winter, he came back to me. He treated me like I mattered. He kissed me. He sat down and smiled at me.
but I want to fight. For him. For us. For the relationship we’ve never properly had.
“I spend two months, two fucking months, entertaining your belief that you’re Winter, and just when I think I have you back, just when I start to believe you’ll be different, you fuck up everything.”
“We ride together and die together, woman.”
For a moment, I want to believe that she’s doing this for me. For us.
“I didn’t cheat on you and I’d never be able to. Not when you own every part of me.” “I own every part of you?”
“You can whip me to death, but I won’t tell a lie…I never looked at any man but you.”
Did I fucking use you, Lia?” “No…”
“No, I didn’t. I wouldn’t. If I’d planned to, I wouldn’t have married you. In fact, I got rid of every fucking member of the Rozettis who knew about your existence and then hid you from your father. Including the bastard you saw me kill that first day in your apartment’s parking garage. He was following you and I finished him.”
“You…you were following me?” “For a few months before I met you, yes. So if I’d wanted to use you to get close to Lazlo, I would’ve done so around that time.” “Why didn’t you?” “Because you became fucking mine.”
“Why should I? You insisted on cheating, remember?” “Adrian…take it as if I’m begging you. Don’t do this to us.” “Do what?” “Kill us again.”
“You said it yourself. I didn’t have a choice.” “And if you did have a choice?” A sob of relief leaves me. “I’d choose this, Adrian. I would choose you
Like his heart. His soul. It’s only fair after he confiscated mine. He’s holding them in the palm of his hand, whether he’ll squash them or revive them, no one knows. But I continue holding onto the hope that the six years we’ve spent together mean something. They have to.
“Say my name again.” “Adrian…” “Say that you’re mine.” “I’m yours…yours…”
“Do it then. Finish the job, Lenochka.” My hands shake, sweat covering my palms. “No…no…I don’t want you dead. I love you. I’m in love with you, have been for years.”
I love his face. I love how he’s more beautiful than a Greek god and just as lethal. But most of all, I love how his hard granite features only soften around me. As if no one in the world is worthy of his gentle side but me—and Jer.
“We’re husband and wife. We’re supposed to do this together.” “It’s because we’re husband and wife that I’m protecting you.
I wanted you and Jeremy for myself more than anything.” “You had us.”
I don’t believe in second chances, Lenochka.” “But you…gave me one. Right?” “You’re the exception.”
“I never wanted to give up my life. I was just…trapped.” “Trapped,”
“Yes, Adrian. Trapped. As in, with no way out. But you wouldn’t know what that term means, not when everything you want magically comes true.” “Believe me, there’s no magic involved. I forged my way through, and while I didn’t give a fuck about who got destroyed in the process,
I didn’t walk all over you. I didn’t step on you and continue my path as if you were nothing.”
“No. You’re not just my wife, the mother of my son, and completely and utterly mine, but you’re also the only woman I’ve wanted since the first time you begged me to fuck you when you were drunk.”
“A lot happened around six years ago, Lenochka. I met you, fucked you for the first time, put a baby in you, and married you. You’ll have to specify.”
“That’s what I do, Lia. I can’t stop when it comes to you. If I had a chance to go back in time, I would’ve ended his miserable life that
day in the club when he dared to put his fucking hands on you. If I had, you wouldn’t have lost ballet.”
“You drove me to stand on a cliff ready to finish my life, too. Do you deserve to die for that?”
“Probably. But I can’t die, because that will leave you and our son unprotected.”
“Understand this, Lia. I would kill for you over and over again if I have to, and you will never, ever question that.”
But in order to keep her and shield her mind, I need to stop being forceful with her fragile mentality. I’ll wait until she rebuilds herself and stand with her every step of the way. One day, she’ll realize that the world we live in doesn’t matter. We’re the only ones who do.
“I gave birth to you, Jer. Your papa didn’t.” I smirk at Adrian. Beat that, mister. “But you did it together.” Jeremy frowns. “That’s why I have Mommy and Papa.”
