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“I know what this is about.” “You…do?” “You want to be Adrian’s equal.” “Am I that obvious?”
“I didn’t know you danced, Adrian.” “I don’t.” “You are right now.” “Because you look beautiful.” “You’re dancing because I look beautiful?” “It’s a perfectly good reason.” “Is that really all?” “No. I need to stake my claim so that no fucker looks at you.”
“You haven’t done that before.” “I thought I was protecting you before, but fuck that. If you’re going to be in the limelight anyway, I’ll be by your side every step of the way.” “And…you won’t try to hide me away again?” “Believe me, I would if I could. If it were up to me, I would’ve worshipped you away from onlookers, where you’re safe, but you’re not
happy with only that anymore, and I would never drive you to the edge of a ...
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My Lenochka has been slowly but surely evolving, and I don’t want to miss any second of it.
She’s my rose.
“Because I’m a woman and my existence doesn’t matter?” “Because you’re my wife and I’d rather die a thousand times over than put you in danger.”
I’m done treating my wife like a stranger when she’s always been the only person who mattered in a room full of people. The only person I see.
“I can still kick Kirill’s ass and beat him the fuck up.” “Or that’s what you wish.” Kirill smirks. “You heard Lia. Just because I don’t use violence, doesn’t mean I can’t. I merely leave brute force to fools like you.” “Who are you calling a fucking fool?”
“I’m done settling for scraps. I need more of you.” “You have me, Lenochka. All of me.” “Not where it matters.” “What is that supposed to mean?” “I might have your care and your protection, but I don’t have your heart.” “You do.”
“I hate you.” “Lia,” he warns. “What, Adrian?” “Take that back.” “No.” “If you don’t, I’ll fuck it right out of you.” “I’ll still hate you.”
I asked him to open up and he didn’t only refuse, but he brutally showed me that he never will.
The moment she whispered that she loved me, then shouted it, I was a goner. It’s not lust. Far from it.
I could tell something was wrong, that I should stop or at least slow down, but the thought of parting from her put me in a worse state of mind and I just…couldn’t put an end to it. She did. When she stood at the top of that cliff, pain like I never felt before exploded in my chest—fear, too. Then she jumped. Everything that happened was because of my inability to slow down. I finally have her back and even her therapist said that her state of mind is improving, despite the stress I put her through last week. But I know, I just know that if I don’t hit the brakes, this time I will lose her for
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There were times when I thought there was only pain and cold shoulders in our relationship. However, ever since Lia lost her identity, then returned to her old self, I thought maybe we got a second chance. A chance where we won’t give up on each other. A chance I won’t miss.
He searched the whole damn world for your mother.” Oh. So he did search for Mom.
So even if I could put up with it for a while, I need to have some sort of hope that he will one day have feelings for me, no matter how far in the future that might be. I’m ready to wait if I know it will happen. Our marriage has never been a fairytale, but I thought we cared for each other. Even when we hurt one another. When I asked my therapist if it’s normal to cause each other pain when I obviously love him and he cares about me, she confirmed it. Apparently, when stressed, we get to take it out on the person closest to us. In my case, that’s Adrian.
“I’m sorry for making you feel bad when I should’ve done the opposite. I lost the ability to feel love when I was a boy, but you’ve slowly but surely yanked those feelings out of me. You didn’t only yank them out, you also held tight to a part of me I thought was long gone. For you, I want to go back in time and keep that part alive for the moment I met you. In the past, I thought people were destined to leave, so being attached to anyone was useless. And I thought that at some point, you would leave, too. I fought the pull to you. I fought the lure of your rose scent and your breakable
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“Oh, Adrian. You already are worthy of me. There’s no one else out there who understands me better than you do, who’d bring me back, even when I go through a dark tunnel like I did. I just want to be your wife for real and your partner for better or worse, not merely a delicate flower you hide away from the world.”
“I love you, Adrian, and though it hurts sometimes, I’ve never regretted it.”
The fact that I get to live it with my Lenochka is the reason why I not only endure it, but I also enjoy it. Because this is our family. My family, the one I would protect with my life.
The sound of her voice makes me even harder and I give her what she needs. After she deprived me of them in the past, I don’t take her noises of pleasure for granted. Whenever she offers them, like now, I engrave each and every one of them in my memory.
My mood instantly blackens. I hate that part of our lives, even if it shaped who we are today. But what I hate the most is the feelings from back then. It’s true that she didn’t cheat, that she was as faithful to me as I was to her, but at one point, I believed it. And that pain split me in two, and because I was miserable, I hurt her.
“Are you thinking about cheating, Mrs. Volkov?” “Not even in the next life.” She wraps her arms around my neck. “You’re not only my lover and my husband, you’re also my best friend and my partner in everything.” “And you are mine, Lenochka.” “I love you, Mr. Volkov.” “I love you, Mrs. Volkov.”
And I’ll spend the rest of my life showing her exactly how deep and raw that love is.
