Consumed by Deception (Deception Trilogy, #3)

by Rina Kent

“If it’s easy, do it again and give me a baby sister.” “It’s not that easy,”

“We’d never leave you, Adrian.”

“Really?” “I promise,”

I was too afraid of Adrian’s nature to ever embrace him fully. In truth, I still am. I don’t think I will ever not be scared of him.

“If something happens to you, it won’t push me away. If anything, it’ll bring me closer, Lenochka. Sex plays a part of who we are, and I love how you submit to my dominance, but it’s not the reason why I’ve been married to you for six years.” “What is then?” “You.” “Just me?” “Just you.”

Lia has always been the soft, elegant type who keeps her emotions to herself. She said she hates my silent treatment, but she doesn’t realize that she often uses the same tactic herself. In fact, she was the one who pulled away first and refused to let me in no matter how much I coaxed her.

She always used to see the worst in me, and as a response, I resorted to forceful methods in order to keep her. To some extent, it was because that’s all I know, but I also did it because the thought of her leaving me turned me into a fucking beast.

Lia isn’t the type who lowers her guard or touches me freely. It’s probably the alcohol, but I revel in every moment of her losing her inhibitions.

I wished her to get on her knees for me, not because she had to, but because she wanted to.

The knowledge that she’s had me on her mind, probably as much as I’ve had her on mine, swells a dark corner of my heart with strange warmth.

This is why Lia has always been special to me. She takes the lash of my punishments and comes back for more. It’s like she trusts I’d never hurt her beyond repair and that I’ll only satisfy her.

She’s always felt like home, the one I think about going back to whenever I’m away from it.

My wife is the only woman who’s ever made me feel out of my mind with an animalistic sense of pleasure. One so carnal, I don’t ever want it to end.

“I love you,” she whispers against my mouth, her breath stuttering. “I love you so much, Adrian.”

Lia is the only person I’ve ever wanted to belong to me, no matter how illogical and impossible that is.

“Angry? I’m not angry, Lia. I’m enraged, disappointed, in pain right fucking here.” He taps the center of his chest. “All I’ve ever done is protect you, even when you could’ve been a huge disadvantage for me. I married you instead of using you as a pawn when I knew Sergei would have my head if he learned of your origins. Even when I was fully aware that Igor

would plot my demise if he figured out I abandoned and humiliated his daughter, a Russian, one of my own, to marry an Italian. But what did you give me in return? You betrayed me, you took the training I gave you and fucking stabbed me in the back with it.”

“Fucking answer me, Lia! Did you sit down and plot the perfect way to kill me?”

“I would never plot to kill you, not even when you hurt me, not even when I thought I hated you.” I push at him with all my might. “I killed for you, you fucking idiot! I killed the man Luca brought that day, because the thought of him hurting you made me lose my damn mind! That’s why my depression hit hard afterward, that’s why I was like a zombie to the point I couldn’t pay attention to my own son! Killing a man, even if he was a criminal, hit me hard and I couldn’t survive it. But do you know what the worst part is? If it were to protect you, I’d repeat it in a heartbeat.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because of the exact way you’re acting right now. I knew you wouldn’t believe me, that you’d think I’d betrayed you. I never have, Adrian, I swear. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“Why not?” “Because I love you,” my voice cracks with the wrecking force of my sobs. “I’m in love with you, and that means I would rather hurt myself and jump off a cliff instead of causing you any pain.”

“No, never! I…I wanted to tell you all about it but couldn’t muster the courage. You…you can be so scary sometimes and I didn’t want us to lose what we have.” “Well, congratulations. We already did.”

but I’m not crying because of death. I was ready for that the day my career ended, and I only stayed alive due to Adrian and the gift he gave me in the form of Jeremy.

“I trusted you, Lia, even more than I trusted myself. You were the light I wasn’t allowed to have and I did everything I could to protect it and not let it burn out. You were the only purity I saw in the world and I did my hardest not to tarnish it. In my own fucked-up way, I wanted to preserve you, to go against my nature and keep you, but I should’ve known it was only a pipe dream.”

“You did. You protected me, you…gave me a reason to live after I thought everything was over. I always called you a monster, but it took forgetting you to realize you’re the monster I need. So…please…please give me another chance. Give us another chance, for Jeremy, for our family. I…don’t care if you punish me for an eternity as long as you’re with me. Please…”

“Are you…are you going to kill me now?” “Never.”

“I-isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” “Maybe. But like you, I’m unable to hurt you, Lenochka, even if my own life is on the line.”

“Remember when you asked me if I ever loved you?”

“I didn’t understand my emotions at the time, but I do now. I do love you, Lia. I always have. But my form of love isn’t sweetness or softness. It’s nothing noble or delicate. My love is selfish and villainous. My love is the type where I will kill people to protect you and erase others to avenge you. My love is possessive, obsessive, and knows no boundaries, not when I first met you and certainly not now.”

“And because my love is selfish, I will put you ahead of everything else.”

“I wish it could’ve been different between the two of us. I wish I were the man you deserve instead of the villain you’ve got.”

And she did it for me. Lia, who used to tremble in front of a gun, killed someone to protect me.

“Is it worth it?” “Is what worth it?” “Losing everything for her?” A small smile grazes my lips. “Absolutely.”

Lia is worth failing my system, digging my own grave, and putting myself in this unfavorable position. I would do it all over again if it means having her.

Despite everything, marrying Lia was the best decision I’ve made in my life.

The only thought that keeps me calm is that Lia and Jeremy are safe.

“I’m glad you’re here with me.” “You won’t ever get rid of me, even if Boss throws a jealous fit and ships me back to the Spetsnaz. I’ll find a way to crawl back here.”

But that was before I married Lia. At some point, protecting her became my life’s priority and I survived if not for anything, then for that purpose alone. Now that it’s impossible for me to live, I can’t stop thinking about how her life will be after I’m gone.

After that, all my decisions were made with the sole purpose of protecting her, keeping her closer, and chaining her to me, even if it meant hurting her in the process.

Now that I’ll be gone, the thought of leaving her all alone hurts more than I thought it would.

I’d always think something has happened to her and that she’s hurt, or worse, fucking dead.

“I don’t care about any of that. The only thing I could think about was getting you back alive.”

“How could you do that to me? How could you leave me behind as if I mean nothing?”

“Nothing?” His jaw and voice tighten. “If you meant nothing, I wouldn’t have walk...

“You made me addicted to you and unable to function unless I get my fix, so don’t you dare think you can leave and expect me to let you go without a fight.”

“You think I would ever want you with another man? That’s like gutting myself with my own hands. You’re mine and I only ever want you to stay mine, not someone else’s.” “Then don’t say you’ll leave me again. You’re my last stop and I plan to stay, not move on.” “You’re my last stop, too.”

“I wouldn’t be so optimistic if I were you, Lenochka.” “I am. Everything you mentioned is scary, but none of it terrifies me as much as the thought of losing you. As long as we’re together, I can get through anything.”

“Does it hurt much?” “Not as much as the thought of never seeing you again or leaving you unprotected.”

Adrian’s guard is down slightly when he’s inside me or after he’s fucked me, and I’m not above using that to my advantage.

“Adrian…I told you I dislike your silent treatment.” “It’s not a silent treatment. I just don’t want you out there and in danger.”