Makai (Berkeley Bred Book 3)

by Grey Huffington

“I’ve never considered it. I’ve never considered a significant other.”

“What changed? What made you change your mind? When did you change your mind?”

“You.” “Me?” I gulped the air that lumped in my throat.

“You haven’t been in love. You haven’t had your heart broken by a lover. You’ve never considered a partner. You’ve never considered children. Makai, have you spent all this time alone?”

“What’s the point of settling when you know there’s someone out there that checks every one of your boxes?”

“Not until I bumped into you. Suddenly, I realized why my interest was never piqued while dealing with other women. I never even gave a relationship with any of them a thought. I was all right spending my life as a bachelor. But when you hit ...

“Do your thang, Mommas. If you big ya back, we just gon’ unbig that motherfucker with plenty water and cardio.”

He craved me. He craved us. He craved our unison. He… “Makaiiiii—”

This… This was the definition of making love. This was the definition of taking one’s time. This was the definition of romance. This was the definition of falling—hard.

“Makai…” I whispered in his mouth. “Shhhh.” He silenced me. “Just listen to us. Just feel us. Just stay here with me, in this moment. No words.”

I opened my ears. I opened my heart. I opened my walls. I opened my world. I opened for him.

“I don’t know if I made it out in time, Kiwi,” he whispered, kissing my lips. I could hear the worry in his tone.

“I have two eyes, Kiwi. I know exactly where we are. It doesn’t matter. Wherever we are and Mommas is feeling blue, that’s where the fuck we’ll be until she’s warm again.”

“Tell me what’s the matter, Mommas. The real thing, and not some made-up shit in your head. And give me a kiss before you let that shit fly.”

“I know, but I can feel your absence already. I can feel the effect of the separation already. Now that we’re both home, I don’t want to have to fight for your attention or for you to go back to thinking the way you were prior to any of this. I’m just feeling so… I don’t know. I’m not feeling very secure. As much as I hate to sound so needy, I am. The truth is, I need you to validate the feelings we both share and promise me they won’t change now that we’re back to reality.”

“What if you decide that you don’t actually want a partnership again? What if—” “Shhhhhh. You’re getting yourself upset for nothing, G. Shit is solid. I’m locked in. We’re locked in. Ain’t shit changing between us. I’ll admit that I have a shitload of work waiting on me. I have a bunch of business to take care of, so I might go missing for a day or two, but by the third day, I’m right back in your face, right back in your world. Three shifts at best and I’m back, Mommas. I promise.”

“Yeah. And don’t ever hesitate to tell me how you really feel, aight?”

“Communication is what will make this shit work. You’re not a fool for feeling how you feel or needing to make sure you’re not alone with those feelings. We all seek validation in some area of our lives. Most motherfuckers just won’t admit it. You telling me the shit you have going on in your head is validating me, letting me know that this shit is as real as I think it is… as real as I want to it be… as real as I need it to be.”

“How can I make it better, Mommas? How can I make this feel better?” he as...

“Can you stay with me? Until it’s time for me to leave for work? I’m not...

“Don’t thank me. I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do for my big, big baby.”

“Look, you can get your ass up or we can come get yo’ ass up. Either is fine with me,” Kleu threatened. “We’re all having brunch at one and I’ll be damned if you miss it because you miss that aggravating ass nigga. I don’t know what you see in that asshole, anyway.”

“It’s more so what she feels,” Nature said, coming to my defense. “And it’s the same thing you feel for your man. He’s on the same spectrum as Makai.”

“I understand but you have to see Makai’s point of view. Just imagine if you’d walked into his bathroom to find his ex’s robe that he wears because it’s comfortable or her entire face care kit because he hasn’t bothered buying his own since they split?” Aeir reasoned.

“I knoooow. I feel where he’s coming from, one hundred percent. I just wish he didn’t put me in the doghouse to make his point.”

“If you don’t want to talk to me or communicate with me, then do what you want. But not halfway. Don’t pop up on me. Don’t pull me to the side to talk about nothing. Don’t bait me in just to leave me hanging. Stand on your s-stand on your principles, Makai. I’m respecting your space. Don’t come bothering me until you’re ready to come back to me.”

“I don’t fight, Makai. I never will. I don’t have a toxic bone in my body. I only fill my life with healthy relationships, no matter if it’s friendships or partnerships. I don’t argue. I don’t fuss. That’s not me. If that’s what you’re trying to get from me or expecting at all, then I’m not her. I’m not the woman for you.

“Communication is my only weapon. It’s all I’ll ever use to progress in situations. You’re upset, but you’re not communicating with me. I can’t win here. You can’t win here. So, what’s the point?”

“I don’t like the way I’m feeling.”

“I’m a grown-ass man, G, and I’ve never felt any emotion for a woman that wasn’t my mother, aunt, or my brothers’ wives. Family. That’s all I’ve ever given a fuck about. And then, you saunter your fine ass in my line of vision, leaving me feeling so many fucking things at once. “I’m overwhelmed. I’m overstimulated. I’m all over the fucking place. And that shit I saw in your bathroom made my chest hurt. I felt like somebody was reaching in my shit, trying to pull my heart out that bitch.

“To even think that you still hung up on another nigga got me heated. But it’s you, G. Standing on business ain’t that easy. So, yes, I popped up to make sure you straight, make sure you don’t need shit, and to hear your voice. I’ve had a long fucking week without you but have I gotten over that shit? Nah. You can’t sit here with a straight face and say you’d be over it either.”

“I’m trying, Makai, but what else do you want me to do with you here, standing in my face? Act as if my week hasn’t been long without you? I can’t do that because it would be misleading.”

“Thank you, Makai, for sharing these things with me. For communicating with me. Your fear isn’t in vain and neither does it make you any less of a man. It’s love, Makai. Though we haven’t reached that point, we will. And I need you to know that it’s a gamble. It always will be.”

“Weird as this shit sounds, she ain’t. She’s like a fucking lava lamp or some shit. A nigga look at her pretty ass and all the stress, frustration, whatever… it all disappears. It’s been a hell of a week for me. I need her to tame the storm brewing inside me. Real shit, she ain’t even got to use that thunder between her thighs to do it. I just need her around right now.”

“See, I never aspired to be like you niggas, all in love and shit. Mommas got me thinking differently, though. Why the fuck I be up, late night, playing different scenarios in my head and shit, all involving her healthy relationship, no profanity using, sleepy, clingy, addictive ass? Like I’m a fucking mental patient or something.”

“Nah. I’m happy for you, bro. And she’s a good girl? Them my favorite kind. They take their asses to work and come straight to the house. They might watch a few shows, read hella books, and sleep as often as they can.” “Always tired as fuck.”

“She be knocked the fuck out. I just be up, bored as fuck, waiting on her to open her eyes.”

“Making unnecessary noise and shit, hoping it wakes her ass up!”

“She broke up with some nigga a few months ago, when I bumped into her. I gave her three months to get that nigga out of her system. When I pulled up on her, I asked her if she was done crying over the nigga. She told me she was. We spend damn near a week in paradise, and as soon as we get back, I take a piss in her bathroom and the nigga shit still laying around.”

“The shirts and shit of mine you wore on vacation, I didn’t wash. I used it to introduce my boys to you. Though they haven’t formally met you, you’re no stranger. They’re very smart boys and great listeners. They’ll behave themselves. If it makes you more comfortable, after I’ve let them meet you, I can lock their door so they aren’t able to come inside until you leave or are more comfortable.”

“She was beautiful.” “And the smartest woman one would ever meet. Deemed a genius, but I’m still trying to figure out how the one thing that was most brilliant about her was the same fucking thing that betrayed her. Brought her to the edge, ultimately suggesting that the world was a better place without her. As deep as her love for my father ran, she couldn’t fathom going out alone. He had to join her. She made sure that he would.”

“Same, Mommas. Living in a cold ass world without the two people you need most is wicked. I keep wanting this shit to be a nightmare that I can wake up from. But I’ve been awake a long fucking time, long enough to know this is real. This is reality.”

“As much as it sucks, it is. It’s reality. I miss my mom and dad every single day. Now more than ever because I need them to see that I’ve become exactly who I promised them I would.”

“I told you. My limit is hell. Motherfuckers go low and I go the lowest. Did you hear them niggas trying to growl at me all low and shit?”

Once I buried my face in her neck, it was lights out for me. I’d never known peace until Glacier. Now that I’d discovered it, I never wanted to live without it.

“Take this dick. You got it, Mommas.”

Though he’d never been in love before, he’d been loved and he’d been loved properly. It made all the difference.

“Which makes me want to do this shit right, Mommas. The people I love, I don’t let them down. I never have and I never will. I’d go to the ends of the earth for ’em, no questions asked. I feel the same about you, but the shit is a little different.

“My family, they don’t expect much from a nigga, especially on a daily basis. I strived every fucking day to be the dude that you need that day because every day, I’ve realized you need something else, another version of me I probably haven’t even tapped into yet. So, I’m just trying to make sure I’m not lacking.”

“No. No. No, you aren’t. You make a nigga feel real fucking good these days, G. Purposeful. Ya know? Give me something to look forward to every damn day. I be out in the streets, ready to skip and bob my head to some fucking love song as I make my way back to you.