Makai (Berkeley Bred Book 3)

by Grey Huffington

“Then, when that bullshit ass bond is broken because it wasn’t solid in the first place, they have to go ask a motherfucker for permission to leave a motherfucker, how to leave them, what they are entitled to after they leave them, and how long they stay in their pockets after they leave them. We good. “If Kleu left me today, for one, I’m going to split somebody’s fucking wig, and second, she can have whatever the fuck she wants from me. I don’t need to pay for her a lawyer to tell me to be a...

“At the end of the day, it’s just papers and a high-ass ceremony most folk can’t even afford. Nigga, did you know that most of the wedding party pays to be part of the fucking wedding? What type of shit is that? I’m paying to be in your wedding...

“We’ve never paid for any of the weddings ...

“That shit will never make sense to me. They pay for their hair, makeup, dresses, suits, shoes, everything. I’m good, man. I’ll go to my grave thinking that shit is all for nothing. People want weddings, not bonds these days. It’s always the most...

“But how long I got to get my shit together? I need to make sure I’m stacked standing by your side, wiping your tears. It’s the least I could do for you making me your best man.”

“That shit understood, player. I’m the designated best man. Anybody that has a problem with that can get shot.”

“When all this shit over, I’m going to ask her to marry me. Her birthday is February 14th.”

“’Cause y’all niggas know how to pick ’em. All y’all niggas got the same girl, just different faces. Aeir – definitely could’ve been born on Valentine’s Day. Nature, though she has a little heart to go with her shit, still… Valentine’s Day. Glacier, if you blow too hard, she gon’ fall the fuck over.”

to deal with your shit.” “Whatever. I can be a bit toxic sometimes. I don’t mean no harm. I just need somebody that can get with my shit when I’m getting with the shit. I can’t take a motherfucker that’s gon’ run cry. Nah, come punch me in my eye. Black that motherfucker so I know not to play with you no more.”

“Kleu is every one of them at heart. That’s why they get along so well. She’s the sweetest, nigga. She won’t admit it, but she is a natural protector. That’s her role in their friendship. She’ll shut some shit down for the women she loves. Crazily, all of them are the same fucking type.

“Ever, Lyric, Baisleigh, Halo, Aeir, Nature, Glacier. All of ’em. And she can’t get enough of them. Cold-blooded and soft as the rest of them at the end of the day. That’s why I love her ass and ain’t ever giving that motherfucker up. Never. Anybody waiting can retire that shit.

“I’d pay any kind of money to see ya mom’s face hearing this shit. To hear your pops try to guide you and shit, tell you what a successful marriage takes. They were the happiest couple I’d ever laid eyes on until I met my pops and the rest of my people.

“Again, that shit beautiful, man, and I don’t see it any differently from what I have. Being happy and in love ain’t no easy shit. Especially when it’s shit that’s always trying to tear a motherfucker down.”

“I’d give a fucking lung to see either of them long enough to tell them about, Glacier. Shit, about Aeir and Nature and Kleu and Halo. They’d love each and every one of them.”

She’d been designed for me. Perfectly, she fit. It wasn’t until she walked into my life that I came to the conclusion that I’d been lonely before. Shielding my heart from women after the world had already broken it was my coping mechanism.

I didn’t want to cope anymore. I wanted to live. That was what Glacier did for a nigga. She gave me life. She gave me purpose. She gave me hope, some shit I hadn’t had since the day my momma killed herself and my pops.

“So, I met this girl, man,” I said, turning toward my father’s side of the headstone where his body rested. “She’s special.”

“You’d love her. She reminds me of you in some ways, many ways, really. According to Lawe, we’ve all surrounded ourselves with women just like you. He didn’t say it out of his mouth, but I knew that’s what he meant.

“And honestly, I ain’t mad about it. You were in possession of such a beautiful spirit. You were the purest of people who ever entered Dad’s life. Things just got in the way, things that you co...

“But this visit ain’t about that. It’s about Glacier. Her name is an exact contrast to who she is. She’s not cold. She’s not hard. She’s not made of ice. Mommas is warm. A whole hug. A shelter from the cold. Soft inside and out. She’s magic. And believe it or not, she’s mine.”

“I never thought much about the day I’d tell you about a girl as a kid, ya know? But shit, I never expected to be telling you about her standing over your grave. I feel robbed. I feel shunned. I feel like I’ve been punched in the fucking gut.”

“Reminds me of you and that one you’re seeing,” she said, catching me off guard.

“Even a blind man can see the adoration in that boy’s eyes for you. He’s such a lost soul. It’s written all over his face. And what you offer him, no one else will ever be able to. You don’t require him to travel the distance.

“You meet him where he is and he accommodates you for the journey. You two are selfless when it comes to each other and that’s how I know you’ll make it through whatever has been put in front of you. Just have faith, and most of all, have patience.”

“I love you, too, Icy. Bring me some of that candy I love next time. Your dad said he was on his way, but—”

“He left it in the drawer beside your bed. You had fallen asleep so he left it there for you. Remember, one! Two if you’re really craving something sweet.”

“You stupid, malicious, backstabbing bitch. You don’t get to congratulate me now. Hadn’t you been sucking my man’s dick and fucking him like he was the last on earth, then you could’ve been right there, waiting for me when I got off the stage to congratulate me.

“I was nothing but good to you. I’ve only ever been in your corner. I loved you like you were my sister. You had no business shitting on me the way you did. You had no business breaking my heart the way you did. You had no right to do that to me. Nelson is a man. I’ve grown to expect things from those creatures. I could’ve dealt with him cheating the same way I am now—by moving on with my life. “Breakups happen. But you, Valencia. To know that it was you he was cheating with is just… It’s foul! Again, breakups happen, but friendship breakups—that is pain on an entirely different level. I mourned us more than I mourned Nelson and me. I cried for us. I wept for us. You broke my heart way worse than that man ever could.”

“And that’s the fucking problem, Kiwi. You love a nigga that was never meant for you to love, baby. Girls like you not supposed to fall in love with niggas like me. And niggas like me not supposed to fall for girls like you. You deserve lawyers and doctors and pilots and shit like that. Motherfuckers with professions that won’t jeopardize your life. “Falling in love with me put a red dot on your back. Falling in love with me made you the easiest target for a nigga who’s feeling any type of way about me. And up until I met that nigga, wasn’t too many fucking problems a motherfucker had with me.”

“Had it been anyone else in the world that you laid down and busted that shit open for, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be in this position. You’d be at work right now, not laid up in the very beds you stand beside every night. So, yes, Glacier. This is my fault. And because it is, this is what’s about to happen.” He took the seat beside the bed and scooted it as close as he could. He grabbed my hand carefully, placing it between his. “Baby.” I wept, unsure of what he was about to say but dreading the words that were about to fall from his lips.

“Listen, Mommas… There’s an account that I’ve set up for you. Inside is $1.8 million. It’s all yours. You won’t ever have to work another day in your life if you don’t want to. Start a business. Take a year off. Invest it in stock. Whatever you want to do.”

“As of this moment, G, there is no us. Go live your life, Mommas. Let a square put a smile on your face. You deserve that. It’s the least I can do, let you go. I refuse to find you on the floor with some hot shit in ya chest. That ain’t the life I’m trying to live. That ain’t a life I’m trying to live. I’d rather go my way and let you go yours. Your life, for me, matters more than the love I have for you.”

“What I don—” he choked. “What I don’t want is to feel what I felt when I walked in and found my brother’s wife on that floor beside him as he clung to the bit of his heart she’d managed to leave him. What I don’t want is to look my children in their faces and tell them how much of an amazing woman their mother was. “What I don’t want is to try to rebuild a life with bits and pieces, knowing that it’s likely impossible. What I don’t want is to lose my fucking mind—–just like my mother. So, when I tell you you must go… Just go, G.” “But I love you, Makai. I love us.” “I love us, too, but not as much as I love you. You as a person. You as a nurse. You as a granddaughter. You as a woman. Before you’re mine, you’re all of those things and I love that shit. I love it enough to know when to let it go.”

“You have no right. Wh-what even was the point? Why’d you come back? Why’d you show up at my door that night? What was the point?” I hyperventilated.

“Stupidity! That was the point. Thinking I could fall my stupid ass in love when that ain’t in my cards. That’s not how my life...

The words I needed were lost. The pain overpowered everything, all things, inside of me. Makai, the man I’d fallen for the very day I laid eyes on him, was telling me that in this world, we no longer existed. That we could no longer be. That I didn’t belong with him. That he didn’t belong with me. As if he didn’t remember us, remember our love. As if he’d forgotten so swiftly. As if I hadn’t felt something. As if he hadn’t felt it, too.

“Tell Malachi, because I know that’s who sent you, that I’m right where I want to be. Tell him that I’m good and not to waste his chips. If he bails me out, then I’m coming right back in this bitch. Tell him I’m sitting down for a while and to hold shit down.”

“Don’t waste any more of your time here, partna. Go home and get yo’ ass back in bed. Tell them niggas I’m straight. I’ll call them when I’m ready. I’ll let them know when to come get me.”

“I don’t think you understand, my nigga. But I’m not in the business of convincing nobody of shit. Tell my people what I said. Tell ’em I’m good. Tell ’em I’ll call ’em when I’m ready. Any more of your time spent here is a waste and on you. As for me, I’m going to lay my Black ass down.”

“How is it that one day your life is the closest thing to perfect, and the next day, it’s barely a breathable place? I feel like I’m suffocating, Aeir. He left and took his love with him. I don’t understand. I’m confused. My heart is confused. My heart… It’s hurting… so bad.”

“I understand, babes. When you love someone so much, so hard, and with everything you have, losing them feels like the end of the world. I can’t say anything that’ll make you feel better. All I can do is comfort you at this time.

“My words, Glacier, they can’t soothe your pain. It’s fresh and it’s valid. Your relationship has ended. Not due to death, cheating, or differences that you couldn’t resolve. It’s ended because life happened and ripped the man you love away from you. That’s a hard pill to swallow. You won’t get it down today, tomorr...

“And this may not be the end. Maybe it’s just a comma. Just a pause. Just an obstacle. I don’t believe, not even a little, that this is the end of your story with Makai. I just don’t believe...

“You don’t have to know right now. Take your time. There will be order after the chaos. But first, give yourself time to feel, time to hurt, and then time to heal. You’re a beautiful girl with a bright future. Don’t let this situation dim your light. Keep your head up, and when you’re ready, keep pushing forward. You know what they say about things you love… let it go. If it’s meant, it’ll come back around.”

“Things with Malachi and I weren’t always this way, Glacier. I left him, pregnant with our son and all. I chose to put myself first and push forward, no matter how much it hurt. I knew, deep within, that he was the man for me. I knew that he was my final destination.

“Me knowing wasn’t enough, though, babe. Malachi had to know that for himself. And not by me convincing him. He had to figure it out on his own. I stepped away to give him the time he needed to do so. When he returned three months later, he had a different view of us, of our life. We haven’t been more certain of our love than we are now.

“Each day, that certainty grows and it all started with me pushing past the pain to let love work its magic. This feels so much of the same. Makai is the most fearless man I’ve met, other than his brothers. But there’s one thing he’s afraid of. It’s not life. It’s no...

“He’s afraid for them to leave him. Like his mother and father. He is still healing. Malachi expressed on several occasions that Makai took Anna’s death the hardest out of his entire family. It was...

“Falling in love, for Makai, finding someone he wants to spend forever with, it’s all triggering for Makai. He hasn’t lost his mind, Glacier. He lost his heart. It’s with you. And he’s simply trying to protect it at a...

“He’s making sure that it’s not him standing over your grave on Sundays. He’s making sure you have the chance to live life, whether he’s a part of it or not. His freedom is a small price to pay for that. At least it’s the way he sees it. Give him grace. He’s a man in ...