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“Why isn’t he—why isn’t it him? Why isn’t he here? Wh-why is he doing this to me? I’ve done nothing but love him with every fiber in my body. Doesn’t he know that I love him? Doesn’t he know that he’s my world? Doesn’t he know that I-I can’t breathe without him? Doesn’t he know that my body aches for him? Doesn’t he know, Mercer?”
“Don’t. Makai is my brother, but hear me clearly. When a man shows you who he is, believe him. Makai is a man who will go to the furthest extent to protect the people he loves. He’s lost enough of us. He ain’t losing another.
“Trust me when I tell you that, that isn’t always pretty. Sometimes, it’s ugly. Very fucking ugly. I gave up years of my life to protect the people I love.
“We’re all the same, Glacier. But Makai is a different kind of beast. His thoughts consume him. The need for results fuels him. His tunnel vision is sometimes his worst enemy. He’s trying not to make an even worse enemy out...
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“Letting you go for him isn’t easy, but he feels it’s necessary. There’s nothing you or any of us can say to convince him otherwise. Trust me, we’ve ...
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“Good evening, Glacier. I’m quite sure you don’t know who I am but I recently discovered your existence through Nelson. He’s a dear friend of mine. My intentions aren’t to stir up any commotion. I come in peace, advocating for the health of people who are oblivious to what’s going on around them.
“I met Nelson five and a half years ago when I first started going to Dr. Lacey. We’d both recently discovered our status and were starting the new prescription drug that treats HIV and eventually eliminates the possibility of transmission to others. The goal for people like us is always to be undetected since a cure isn’t available to us. Nelson was unsure how he’d been infected and so was I.
“We bonded over the things we had in common and eventually exchanged numbers. There was no foul play. I was aware that he was a heterosexual man as well as he was aware that I wasn’t. On those awful nights when his thoughts started t...
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“Eventually, our friendship evolved and Nelson became curious. I let him explore his sexuality, passing no judgment. He and I went on for a few months, exploring that portion of his life before he decided to get back to the basis of our friendship and eliminate the rest. However, every so often, he found his way back to m...
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“Eventually, it stopped, again, but our friendship continued to blossom. Still, he confides in me about things that he won’t dare mention to another soul. One of these things in particular is the fact that he’s in love with two women, one of which is pregnant, and the ...
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“This brought me to the question of whether the women involved knew his status. Nelson blew up when the question was posed, confirming what I already knew. You are oblivious and so is the woman that is supposed to be your best friend. This message is nothing more than a message of caution. I want you and your child healthy.
“I’ve lived with this disease long enough to know that it’s not pleasant. It’s not the end of the world, by far, and I live a good life. But if I can prevent a child, without a choice, from being brought into this world with a positive status, that’s exactly what I will do. I’ll end this message by saying that I’m sorry for any hurt it may have caused. But I’d rather it be now than later that I tracked you down and told you what you deserved to know the day that Nelson decided he wanted to put his penis inside of you. I’m no fool and I’m sure that my life is in jeopardy by sharing this, but to
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wish you nothing but the best and I pray that your pregnancy is as beautiful as you are, my love. Don’t walk, run to the nearest clinic and get tested. Knowing your status is important. Nelson has been undet...
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“I’d taken tests and had blood work done throughout nursing school and nothing had ever come back positive, so I wasn’t too worried. My annuals were appointments I didn’t skip. I made sure to get the full panel yearly.
“I love you, bro. Real shit. Happy you’re home. Never been happier to have your boney ass shoulder pressed against mine.”
“You’re a better man than me, Makai. I commend you one hundred times over.”
“You niggas tried to have a little reunion without me. Fuck you, you big ear, fat lip fucker. And fuck you, you suit-wearing bitch. And fuck you, you wide receiver back having, fry cooking ass nigga. Didn’t call me? Well, I still pulled up.”
“From this point on, don’t even say shit to me. None of you. What’s up, nigga? You out that motherfucker?”
“Nigga, you want your kneecaps or to ride with them niggas? The choice is yours, but make that motherfucker right now.”
“But I don’t. Have you forgotten who my wife is? Who she was? You think I give a fuck about what it’s supposed to be? When it’s a matter of the heart, not much else matters.”
