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“Why aren’t you running?”
“Bossy. I like it. But you know what I like more? Your posh little accent. Question. Does it sound the same when you say crude things?”
My words come in mumbled, haunted sounds, like in those creepy horror movies where the nerd dies first. That’s me. I’m the nerd.
My jaw nearly hits the floor when none other than my baby sister rushes through the door,
Kolya Jr. has been an adventurous whore since he got his first boner at the fresh age of five. It was such a marvelous discovery when I found my then-wiener hard that I giggled with glee. Then I proceeded to run all over our house, dangling, pointing, and showing it off to anyone who crossed my path while shouting, “Look! I have a gun!”
After he laughed his ass off—five out of five sense of humor on that man, love him—he
Once, a girl was like, “Choke me, Daddy,” and I nearly killed her. In my defense, she didn’t specify how hard I should choke her, so I went with the flow—the flow being maximum violence.
“Oh no.” I glare down at my pants. “Fuck no, you fucking fuck.” He twitches again as if saying, “Fuck yeah.”
Fuck me sideways. Kolya is definitely hard and in the mood now. Maybe if I get him the same flavor as the three from last night… He flops down so fast, I curse his goddamned maker.
It’s me. I’m the maker.
“Niko, please tell me you weren’t talking to invisible people just now.”
“Of course not. I was having a very frustrating conversation with my dick.” “That’s even worse.”
“If you wanna see my dick again, just say so.” I grab my belt, ready to die on this hill. Gareth slams his hand on mine, a terrified expression covering his features.
“Kill!” Gareth growls. “Stop encouraging his crazy or he’ll be walking around naked for a couple of days.”
“Good idea.” I snap my fingers at him. “You’re so smart, Gaz.” His face falls. “Please don’t.”
Not that I’m tempted to find out. That would be crazy. * * * Just kidding. I am crazy.
Though beautiful isn’t quite the right word. He’s not pretty like a girl or beautiful like a colorful flower on the side of the road. He’s handsome.
I couldn’t exactly text her, ‘Hey, little princess, for the love of fish and chips, please tell me I was seeing things and you weren’t at the Heathens’ initiation,’ because that would give away that I was there.
“Oh cool, you remember! Nice to officially meet you, Brandon. Or, hold on! I actually found you a perfect nickname. Lotus flower. You know, because you managed to bloom so beautifully while surrounded by the muddy swamp that is Landon. Isn’t that so fucking poetic?”
“You need to check your ego.” He looks down at himself and then smirks. “Perfectly awesome, thanks for asking.”
“I need my hand, so yes, you have to release it, Nikolai.” “Fuck. I love the way you say my name.
Under the soft yellow light kissing his cheek and right eye, the blue lightens to a chilling turquoise, revealing tiny flecks of gray in the irises. Blue on gray. Fascinating.
Who the fuck are you, Clara, and what’s your favorite way to die?
Fuck this shit. Seriously. I’m losing my few remaining brain cells because of this asshole.
“Sir,” he starts with a Russian accent. “I thought you might want to know that your cousin Killian was attacked. He’s upstairs now.” I narrow my eyes. “Upstairs, as in alive, or upstairs, as in, in his casket?”
“If you wanted to see me, you should’ve told me and I would’ve given you a tour.” “Get over yourself.” He’s looking ahead like a fucking robot. “I’m here for my sister and her boyfriend.” “Tomayto, tomahto. Wanna have that tour anyway?” “No.” “How about dinner?” “No.” “A drink?” “No.” “Do you have another word in your monosyllabic asshole vocabulary tonight?” “No,”
my Prince Charming,
Bran would hit me if I were to say this out loud, but he’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
He pushes his cousin in front of him. “Nikolai was bored, so I took him out for a stroll.” “Eat shit, motherfucker. I’m not a dog. Also, he was the one who was so bored that he started vandalizing shit,” Nikolai says, then speaks to Glyn, “I was dragged out against my will because he refuses to admit he misses you.”
As he drinks, she also picks up a shot and takes it in one go. What…? My sister did what…?
“I think I need some medical attention. My own spawn has been missing out and I didn’t know. I’m losing years of my life as we speak, I’m telling you.” “What’s so special about having one’s dick sucked?” Creigh asks. “Uh, what’s so special about the sun? The moon? The ecosystem? I can go on forever. Jesus, spawn, you’re making me look like a bad mentor.”
I didn’t beat these people up because a cunt happened to grab Brandon by his shirt or attempt to punch him. Hurt him. Right in front of me.
Yeah, so I did drive my fist in Brandon’s face the last time I saw him, but only I get to do that.
Jesus fucking Christ. I know I’m supposed to be mad—or keep up with the image, anyway—but it’s impossible to hold on to the anger I’ve left to fester when he’s smiling.
He is actually smiling without faking anything, his lips curving and his eyes softening. He looks happy when I could’ve sworn the asshole doesn’t know the emotion.
“Just tell me…did you have a thing with Annika?” “What the fuck? She’s like a fetus.”
I don’t like anyone who’s barely legal.”
“You know I’m going to be twenty soon, right?”
“You’re still way younger than me.” “Way? It’s only three years.” “And a half.” “And a half.
I slam my lips to his, devouring that sound and swallowing it deep inside me. Fuck. Fuck me. Fucking fucker of all motherfucking fucks.
“Hey, you were the one who hugged me just now.” “I fell.” “Tomayto, tomahto.”
He’s just so elegant. So fucking beautiful. The definition of second-best male beauty. The first is me.
He’s not your man. Definitely not your fucking babe. “Niko.” Jeremy places a hand on my arm. “Whatever you’re currently thinking about, don’t do it.”
“But she’d look so pretty in a fucking casket.”
“You’re a fucking nightmare,” he mutters, his throat working beneath my fingers. “Your nightmare.” “I hate you.” “I don’t.” “You’re fucking crazy.” “About you,” I whisper against his lips and claim them with a guttural moan.
Being with her just now felt like I was cheating on him. Not the other way around.
“Pretty sure I’ve seen you before, but where?” “I’ve been literally coming here for the past two years!” she screams, her high-pitched voice grating on my last nerve. “Oh, right! You’re the help!” “I’m not!”
He looks at Lan. “She’s not?”
“I’ll let you know if someone else needs help!” Eli shouts after her and then asks us, “She’s really not the help?”
“Rems!! Get the pints out!” A few things are knocked over down the hall before a door is flung open and Remi peeks out, a Cheshire cat grin plastered on his face. “Did someone say pints?”
