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“Tell me something in Russian.” I cup his chin and stare deep into those eyes that have become my undoing as I say the words Grandpa said Russians take seriously and literally. “Ya nee ma goo bees tee byah zhit.”
“Tell me something you noticed about me no one else knows.” “Hmm. You have eleven moles on your body.” “Okay…” “I’m not done. You have two hundred seventeen lashes on your right eye and two hundred twelve lashes on your left one.” His lips part. “You…counted them?” “Almost every night since you stayed over. That’s last night’s count. Might
change today. You tend to lose some on your left eye.” “But why would you count my lashes?” “I love them. They’re dark and long and so fucking pretty when you’re sleeping. Besides, no one but me can count them, so that’s a huge bonus.”
“I just want you to know that you deserve to be loved in the light, Niko. Just like everyone else.”
“Pfft. He doesn’t love me.” “I don’t like this guy.” Jeremy narrows his eyes. “You’re being exclusive for the first time in your life and keeping it a secret for his sake and he doesn’t love you? What is he? An idiot?”
Why do you touch me like I’m beautiful? Why don’t you hate me when I can’t stand my-fucking-self?”
Bran even once said, “He’s just so funny.” He fucking isn’t.
The thought of hurting him fucking terrifies me.
He holds my gaze with his identical one. “I wouldn’t be the same without you, either, twat. You’re part of me.”
is. “I want you to listen to me and listen carefully. You’re part of me. That means I’m critical of you like I’m critical of myself. I see your safety as my own, sometimes even more so because you tend to think of others’ comfort more than your own. I hated it when you closed yourself behind a fortress and kept me out. I need you to understand that.”
“You put me as Spare Parts in your phone when we were thirteen.” “Because you demanded your own room. You said, and I quote, ‘I don’t want to share space with that vermin.’ I’m nothing if not petty.”
“Have kids, they said. They’ll keep you company, they said. And here I am trying not to haul the three of you back home.”
“Dad? Are you…okay with it?” “Your sexuality? Naturally. This guy, however, I’m not sure yet. What’s his name? Age? Parents’ names?”
“Uh…so…remember Killian?” His lips part. “Please don’t tell me you’re with your sister’s boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend?” “What? No. Of course not, Dad.” “Ew, Levi.” Mum smacks his hand. “Fine, okay.” He releases a breath. “It can’t be worse than that.” “He’s his cousin.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Dad’s face literally pales and I kind of feel bad for him.
“Please tell me he’s the levelheaded cousin who keeps him in check.” “To be honest, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Killian is definitely the one who keeps Nikolai in check.” “Fuck my life.” He exhales. “Astrid, Princess. I think I’m having a heart attack.”
How dare he be so unaffected when I’ve barely been able to breathe properly since he’s been gone?
Now, the thought of being without him terrifies me. Death terrifies me because it would take me away from him.
“Brandon,” I grit out, and he looks at me with…disappointment? Pain? “What?” he asks in a hurt tone. “I hate the word nothing. It’s at the top of my shit list with fine and sorry.” “Well, I hate it when you call me by my full name, too.” Fuck me. His lower lip pushes slightly forward in a little pout and I can’t help the feeling of complete adoration that floods me. He’s so goddamn cute for an asshole. “Won’t happen again, baby.” I cup his nape and crash my lips to his.
“Don’t ever do that again.” He pants against my lips, his fingers pulling on my hair until it’s painful. “Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me or ghost me. I don’t give a fuck if you’re on a high or a murder spree. I couldn’t care less if you hurt me. You don’t come to me when you’re only okay, you come to me at all times. Am I fucking understood?” I lick his bottom lip then bite down. “You don’t hide from me, either. I want you raw. Am I fucking clear?”
He can’t possibly be worse than Killian. Anyone is better than Killian. It was an exaggeration on Bran’s part to emotionally prepare me. Again, no one can be worse than Killian.
bastard’s long hair was finger-raked. Dear fucking God, I know you’re out there somewhere and I beg you, take this arsehole and give my son a normal lover. Just once, I want fucking normal.
First I get a psycho son. Okay, fine. Love that. Best challenge of my life and pretty sure I passed it. I didn’t need to have my daughter with a psycho boyfriend. And now, it’s the psycho’s psycho fucking cousin. What the fuck have I done to deserve that? Was I a mass murderer in a past life or something?
I’m losing my children one by one to a bunch of wankers.
“I actually have a GPA of 4.15, sir. I might not look like it, but I have an awesome memory. Though your other son likes to call me stupid.” I smile to myself, proud of Lan,
Is he consoling him right now? Dear God, please blind my fucking eyes.
God rest my soul in fucking pieces.
I’m literally sick to my fucking stomach over the thought of yet another one of my children leaving the nest.
Since when do you judge a book by its cover?” “Since it walks into my house and steals my son.”
Don’t even remind me of that, Captain. I get nightmares about the day my babies will introduce me to some fuckers. Aiden Pretty sure you know at least one of them, if not two. Cole What are you insinuating? Aiden You might want to sit down for this.
Cole
Sit down for what? Aiden One day, my Eli will marry your Ava and we’ll be in-laws. Xander Jesus. Is that a script for a horror film? Aiden A reality show. Cole I’ll kill him first, Aiden. You know that. Aiden Good luck trying to stop my son. We King men always get what we want.
My hands freeze as I study the artistic patterns of the lotus flower and make out the elegant font beneath it
that reads Property of B. King. He had it inked on the spot that he said was for something special.
“Absolutely, and, baby?” He kisses the top of my head and his next words nearly give me a heart attack. “Even if you hate yourself, I’ll love you for the both of us.”
“I thought you hated the touristy things and even kept apologizing to many people and whispering, ‘He’s American, sorry.’ I can’t believe they nodded in understanding and had the audacity to look like they were pitying you.”
Fuck me. He drew eyes for the first time in years and they’re mine.
However, when I stood in his doorway, he immediately knew something was off. He jumped from his bed and asked me what was wrong. I whispered, “Nothing. Can you hug me?” The moment his arms wrapped around me, I broke down. I cried in his chest for so long that I think I passed out. My brother held me through it all, and even though he doesn’t know how to soothe people, he was patting my back the entire time. He carried me to his bed and let me sleep in his arms.
He whispered, “Tell me who did this to you so I can end them.” Then he begged me for the first time in his life.
My Bran
“That’s my twin brother. My other half. You don’t get it, Dad. He…he’s my. Other. Half. And I couldn’t be there to stop him from trying to take his own fucking life. I couldn’t be there when it got to be too much. He pushed me away and I thought he hated me. All this time, I failed to realize he hates himself.”
“Of course I would. I’m his twin brother. What’s the use of being labeled a genius if I couldn’t save the one person who matters?”
my Bran.
As long as he comes back, I’ll murder his demons one by one until he’s ready to look in the mirror again.
I let the searing emotions blast through me, whirling into the organ that beats for him.
my Bran.
“You’re going to punch me for daring to hurt your identical twin?” I try to joke to break the tension.
“I’d kill for you, I’d shoot myself if that makes you breathe better without me shadowing you, but I’d never…ever hurt you, Bran.”
“I love you, little bro,” he whispers. “I need you to know that. I need you to know you’re the first person I loved unconditionally and always will. I might annoy you, might act like a dick to get your attention, but that’s only because the thought of losing you scares the living fuck out of me.”
“Hey, Lan?” “I don’t like that tone. What?” “Since we’re sharing our feelings—” “Lord, no. Please no. What is it now?”
“One more thing.” “Yeah?” “Please tell me you top the motherfucker.” I let my lips curve into a smile as I shake my head. Lan’s face falls and he looks like he’s on the verge of a heart attack.
