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So Jeremy woke up today and chose violence. Love that for us.
my lotus flower
I jerk my arm away. “Why the hell would you lick me? Are you a dog?” “Woof.”
Don’t act like you know me in public.” “But why? I want to hang out with you.”
“Don’t run away from me again. If you do, I’ll flip the world upside down to find you. You’re mine now, baby.”
My finger is stiff as I exit the text exchange and call the only person I’m comfortable speaking to when I’m in this situation. The only person who told me, “Fuck the pills. If they erase your fire, don’t take them.” He picks up after a few rings and speaks in a British accent. “Talk to me, son.”
The only difference is that I’ve never wanted to make someone mine as much as I want to chain him the fuck up to me.
“Ava. Her name would look fucking pretty on a gravestone.”
“So that’s where I’ve seen her. She’s not Clara’s replacement?” “What? Of course not. My cousin would kill me.” “I will fucking kill him or anyone who dares to touch what’s fucking mine.”
He’s right. I fucking love kissing him. But most of all, I love how he kisses me. It’s hard and dominating but also overwhelmingly passionate.
“Mine. Every inch of you is fucking mine.”
I see my reflection in those dark blues, and for the first time, I don’t hate what I see.
Not when he looks at me like he can’t get enough. Like I’m the center of his universe.
“I’m sorry. I’m not comfortable with that.” “I’ll wait until you’re comfortable, then.”
the fact that you got this fucking place just so he’d feel safe away from everyone else? Yeah, so I did that. He’s always paranoid about people and their meaningless fucking opinions, so I thought he’d feel more comfortable in a place that’s only for us. I mean, for him to meet me here.
The battered cells in my hyper brain didn’t mellow out, but his presence provided them with tunnel vision. A target for my monstrous energy. Others fuel that energy. My lotus flower tamed it.
Answer me. Do you want me there? Yes or no. Yes.
You know I am. And you didn’t answer my question. Are you really okay? Tell me the truth. A little sore, but I’m fine. Pictures or it didn’t happen. Nikolai, no.
Bran By the way, I noticed you had no food in your place, so I ordered you some Italian pastries for breakfast. I grin. He loves me.
Turns out, everyone was worried about the way I disappeared last night. I kid you not, Jeremy put out feelers with the police and shit because he took what I said about killing innocent girls seriously. He can be dramatic.
Kill and Gareth were checking all the places I would usually go to—clubs, another fighting ring. The Serpents. No shit—they actually knocked on the Serpents’ door and were like, “Hi, I know we hate each other, but have you seen this massive idiot motherfucker who’s covered in tattoos?”
“At least she likes something. You, however, seem to be out of luck with the person you like.” I narrow my eyes. “Who do you like, Maya?” “No one,” she says, her voice a bit high-pitched. “You know how Kill likes to talk shit.” He searches his surroundings. “Moi?”
I’m close to both my sisters—Maya because I let her practice her makeup skills on me when we were growing up. But Mia…Mia is special. We both deal with our demons in our own ways and know we’ll slaughter each other’s enemies if given the chance.
“You’ll kiss me?” he asks cautiously, hopefully, even. “I’ll always kiss you, baby.”
That part boggles my mind. Why would he be happy with me when I can’t stand myself most of the time?
If I say I’m not okay, will you come to the penthouse? Me If you want me to, yeah. Then I’m not okay. On my way.
He drinks milk from the bottle and eats tuna from the can. Like a savage.
He asked what my shampoo and body wash are and then bought them for me, although, really, I love his body wash. It makes me smell like him.
“Are you telling me your girl is more important than me? Your cousin with whom you grew up?” “Why is that a question? Of course she is.”
“So?” Kill shoves my shoulder with his. “Who changed your precious set of anti-monogamy rules? You can tell me. Must be killing you to keep it all to yourself.” “You really want to know?” He nods. I beckon him with one finger. “Come here. It’s a secret.” He inches close and I smack him on the nape. “Mind your fucking business and stop being nosy.”
“Kill!” My grouchy cousin’s face breaks into a rare genuine smile at the sound of his girlfriend’s voice.
“You never call me by my full name,” I whispered. “I don’t like it when you do.”
Two weeks without him has been a fucking eternity. I didn’t care before him, but after him, it’s torture to go day in and day out without his touch.
He better stop smiling at her or she’ll do a fast climb to the top of my shit list.
She places her hand on his arm and I narrow my eyes. If she doesn’t remove it, that hand will be broken into fucking pieces.
Because I haven’t been able to fucking breathe since he disappeared,
You have two minutes to come outside or I’ll go in there and it won’t be pretty since I might actually break that girl’s hand for touching you.
If you want me, this is how you’ll get me.”
“Really?” “Really.” “No one came here?” “No.” “Why?” Because this is our place and no one else is allowed in it.
I don’t even like sex.” “You obviously do.” “Only with you,”
I can take anything as long as I have him. Because Nikolai is the only one who kisses the pain out of me, even if temporarily.
Are you a dog?” “Woof.” He grabs my cheeks with wet fingers. “Let me lick your face.”
He only knows how to buy pastries like a sweet-toothed monster.
my Bran.
“What’s your name, motherfucker, and what’s your favorite way to die?”
“Do I need to? I’m a simple man. I missed you, so I came to see you.” “We were together this morning.” “I need a dose of you at all times.”
My Bran
He’ll be proud about being with me just like I’m over the moon about being with him.
my Bran.
“You belong to me, Nikolai. I do not share, are we clear?”
