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Lead people from the pictures in their heads to your goals, from the familiar to the unf...
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If there are big differences between parties, move slowly toward each other, narrowi...
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First find out what each party cares and doesn’t care about, big and small, tangible and intangible, in the deal or outside the deal, rational and emotional.
Then trade off items that one party values but the other party doesn’t.
it uses all the experiences and synapses of people’s lives. And it greatly expands the pie, creating more opportunities, at home as well as the office. It is rarely done the way it should be.
What are their policies, exceptions to policies, precedents, past statements, ways they make decisions? Use these to get more. Name their bad behavior when they are not consistent with their policies.
This is especially effective in dealing with hard bargainers.
Don’t deceive people.
Be yourself. Stop trying to be tougher, nicer, or something you’re not. People can detect fakers.
Being real is highly credible, and credibility is your biggest asset. If you’re in a bad mood or too aggressive, or...
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Don’t walk away from a negotiation unless all parties agree to take a break—or unless you want to end the negotiation.
valuing them gets more.
Package what’s going on in a few words to give them a vision of where you want them to go: “Is
Find the Real Problem and Make It an Opportunity.
“What is really preventing me from meeting my goals?”
find out why the other party is acting the way they are.
You have to probe until you find it. You have to get ...
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a problem of trust and an opportunity for a bett...
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They usually can be turned into negotiation opportunities. Vi...
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different is actually demonstrably better: more profitable, more creative. It leads to more perceptions, more ideas, more options, better negotiations, better results. Asking a few more questions about differences will produce more trust and better agreements.
Great negotiators love differences.
One is a tool: that is, a specific action to implement a strategy. Apologies and concessions are tools to help you implement the emotional payments strategy.
Even in tough economic times, there are lots of ways to get in the door.
“So I offered free consulting,”
“Even after the door is closed, try a second and third time,”
“Provide them with a specific solution. It takes time, but it works.”
The key is to be persistent and to continue to find creative ways to get in the door.
in a tactful and humble way.
persistent, but not pushy.
“I had a framework to prepare. It enabled me to be firm without damaging the relationship.”
Besides identifying common interests, you can find common enemies. If you can find something both parties are against, it can strengthen the bond and reframe the entire situation.
It’s hard to get people to change a decision they have made.
This validated the manager’s perceptions, provided an emotional payment, and made her more interested in listening.
differentiated his project from her past experiences, using references and evidence.
It took careful planning, multiple tools, and much sensitivity to the other party.
Simply by asking people about their fears, you can often get the information you need to persuade them.
mitigate the firm’s perceived risk, unfounded or not.
By now it should be clear that a key negotiation skill is asking questions: finding the perceptions and pictures in the other person’s head, and finding out about the situation.
This is the kind of conversation that needs to be in person.
“I started the conversation not about salary,”
“I started with his vision for th...
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“I asked him what standard he was thinking about,”
by asking
for more information and using it to increase his value in the eyes of
First, he asked the partner about his kids, and the prospects for the firm.
asked the project leader to describe his problems, vision, and standards. “Only late in the conversation did I match my qualifications to his comments,”
(a) finding out the other side’s needs, (b) discovering how they evaluated things, and (c) matching his skills explicitly to the other party’s needs.
it is especially important to know what the other party is thinking before asking for something
specific. Otherwise you may end up negotiating again...
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conversation with his boss at salary review time. “What are your ex...
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