The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge
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The Four working consciously in this way can make ready use of the tools that healthy Type Twos use: a sensitivity to the needs and preferences of others, a positive view of what’s possible in relationship, and the conscious management of feelings and needs in light of the feelings and needs of others. The Two stance of adapting to please others can help Fours learn to be more adaptable and supportive of others in a way that also enlarges their view of their own worth and value to others. Fours can get lost in their own interior emotional worlds, but they can temper this tendency in service of ...more
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The Four working consciously in this way can make ready use of the tools that healthy Type Twos use: a sensitivity to the needs and preferences of others, a positive view of what’s possible in relationship, and the conscious management of feelings and needs in light of the feelings and needs of others. The Two stance of adapting to please others can help Fours learn to be more adaptable and supportive of others in a way that also enlarges their view of their own worth and value to others. Fours can get lost in their own interior emotional worlds, but they can temper this tendency in service of ...more
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Fours can get lost in their own interior emotional worlds, but they can temper this tendency in service of their growth by r...
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The path of growth for Type Fours calls for them to reclaim their ability to use self-evaluation, self-discipline, and structure as ways to support themselves rather than as ways of devaluing and punishing themselves. As children, Fours may have had to downplay their natural ability to use their ideals and follow the rules as a way of taking action to feel good about themselves and be productive in the world. In response to early loss or deprivation, Fours more typically took refuge in a flawed self-image and an experience of longing for what might have been, which can pull their focus away ...more
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The path of growth for Type Fours calls for them to reclaim their ability to use self-evaluation, self-discipline, and structure as ways to support themselves rather than as ways of devaluing and punishing themselves. As children, Fours may have had to downplay their natural ability to use their ideals and follow the rules as a way of taking action to feel good about themselves and be productive in the world. In response to early loss or deprivation, Fours more typically took refuge in a flawed self-image and an experience of longing for what might have been, which can pull their focus away ...more
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The path of growth for Type Fours calls for them to reclaim their ability to use self-evaluation, self-discipline, and structure as ways to support themselves rather than...
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Fours tend to cope by attaching to a feeling of hopelessness or melancholy, to avoid being hopeful about things they believe might not happen. In doing this, they may have had to give up One attributes such as the active capacity to enact practical ideals and a belief in their ability to control what happens through hard work. They may not have been able to provide structure for themselves through routine and adherence to standards and rules because they had to focus on coping with a specific experience of loss or deprivation.
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In the case of Type Four, the Vice (or passion) of the type is envy and its opposite, the Virtue, is equanimity. The theory of growth communicated by this “Vice to Virtue conversion” is that the more we can be aware of how our passion functions and consciously work toward the embodiment of our higher Virtue, the more we can free ourselves from the unconscious habits and fixated patterns of our type and evolve toward our “higher” side or “oak tree-Self.” As Fours become more familiar with their experience of envy and develop their ability to make it more conscious, they can take their work ...more
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Whatever type you are, the path from observing your passion to finding its antidote is not exactly the same for each of the subtypes. The path of conscious self-work has been characterized in terms of “grit, grind, and grace:”23 the grit of our personality programming, the grind of our efforts to grow, and the grace that comes to us from doing our work in conscious and positive ways. Each subtype has to grind, or exert effort, against something slightly different. This insight is one of the great benefits of understanding the three distinct subtypes of each of the nine types.
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  Social Fours can travel the path from envy to equanimity by doing the work it takes to release their inferiority complex, own their positive qualities, and enhance their self-confidence. If you are a Social Four, it will help you to work on relaxing your self-judgments and negative self-perceptions—to take the risk to see what is positive about you and your life and not get stuck in envious comparisons and shame. Manifesting a sense of equanimity means valuing all your feelings equally, and also not getting over-identified with your feelings. It helps to consider that it’s okay to be angry ...more
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Social Fours can travel the path from envy to equanimity by doing the work it takes to release their inferiority complex, own their positive qualities, and enhance their self-confidence. If you are a Social Four, it will help you to work on relaxing your self-judgments and negative self-perceptions—to take the risk to see what is positive about you and your life and not get stuck in envious comparisons and shame. Manifesting a sense of equanimity means valuing all your feelings equally, and also not getting over-identified with your feelings. It helps to consider that it’s okay to be angry and ...more
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Sexual Fours can travel the path from envy to equanimity by strengthening their ability to be with their own suffering without needing to externalize it or project it onto others. If you are a Sexual Four, you can grow by seeing all your emotions as equally valuable and important, whether you are feeling envious and angry or sad and vulnerable. Your tender feelings are as important to consider as your competitive impulses. For you, equanimity means recognizing the value of who you are, even if you aren’t the best or superior to anyone else. No one has to prove themselves to be the best to be ...more
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THE ARCHETYPE OF THE FOUR POINT represents the way we all fear abandonment when we feel imperfect and focus on our flaws as a way to control or defend against loss in a world that seems to require us to be special to be loved. The Four path of growth shows us how to transform our longing and suffering into a sense of confidence in our inherent lovability so that we can wake up to a fuller experience of who we are and what we can be. In each of the Type Four subtypes, we see a specific character who teaches us how equanimity can allow us to value our emotional truth and essential wholeness, ...more
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TYPE ONE REPRESENTS THE ARCHETYPE of the person who seeks to be good and do “the right thing” to satisfy an urgent need to be virtuous and responsible and to avoid fault and blame. This drive provides a defensive protection in a world that demands and rewards good behavior and punishes bad behavior.
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This effort also necessarily involves stifling or “civilizing” natural impulses, instincts, and feelings that would lead us to break the rules to our advantage. Type Ones are vigilant not to let these forces get out of control. Ones tend to inhibit their experience of the wisdom of the “animal within” and the natural rhythms of spontaneity, instinctive expression, and play. Rigidity, criticism, and continuous judgment are as characteristic of this archetypal character as their belief in justice, fairness, and good order. Type One individuals are reliable, responsible, honest, well-intentioned, ...more
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As with all the archetypal personalities, however, Type Ones’ gifts and strengths also represent their “fatal flaw” or “Achilles heel:” they get in their own way by overdoing their focus on virtue and thus undermine their own self-confidence, balance, and inner peace through over-control, self-repression, and excessive judgment. However, when they can learn to tame their sometimes harsh criticality and take things less seriously, they can call on their gifts of discernment, reliability, and idealism to make the world a better place.
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Naranjo notes that, fundamentally, the One is an over-civilized or over-controlled type. Typically, when Ones experience an impulse—to run, to express anger, to embrace someone—it moves up from the gut and through the body before being intercepted and judged by a well-developed critical function in the mind. If the impulse fails the inspection, the One’s critical thinking function labels the impulse “wrong” and represses it.
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Reaction formation is a psychological defense through which the human psyche turns something into its polar opposite to render it less threatening. So, in the face of “excessive demands and frustration” early in life, instead of feeling angry and rebelling, the One child takes on more responsibility, becoming a very good boy or girl.4 The fundamental fixation to be good and do the right thing motivates the Ones’ focus on “positive” feelings and their denial or repression of their “negative” feelings. Reaction formation serves to relieve the stress of this difficult internal conflict. Focusing ...more
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instead of feeling mixed feelings, like resenting someone you feel grateful for or hating someone you love, a One changes mental focus to allow themselves to feel only the positive end of this complex set of emotions.
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Ones develop a deep appreciation for what they view as “perfect,” which comes from what they “feel” or “know” to be correct. The Type One focus is often frustrating, as the actual attainment of something perfect is an impossible standard. But Ones also describe feeling a wonderful sensation of peace and satisfaction when things do come together in the just right way. Their focus on achieving this feeling, however rare or temporary, motivates Ones to work hard and attend energetically to the details of everything they value in their quest for security and well-being that accompanies an optimal ...more
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Type Ones experience and express anger more as resentment, frustration, self-righteousness, or irritation. Ones report that they most often feel resentment, a kind of low-level, background, tamped down anger that things aren’t as they should be. Anger often manifests as irritation or frustration when it’s controlled and rationalized, manifested by someone committed to being above reproach. On the other hand, Ones can be fiercely angry when they feel righteous—and therefore “appropriate”—in expressing it.
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If I don’t actively inhibit my emotions, impulses, and needs, I might say or do something inappropriate and bring shame on myself.
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I like to be someone people rely on to be fair and upright. If I’m going to be proud of anything, I guess I’m proud of that.
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This “trap” reflects a basic conflict at the core of the One personality. Ones avoid criticism and punishment by holding themselves or others to a punishingly high standard. They then fuel this cycle with anger and resentment at failures to meet this standard. In this way their striving to free themselves or others from fault only reinforces Type Ones’ habitual beliefs about being unworthy or unlovable. Thus, Ones’ efforts to prove themselves acceptable and lovable ends up reinforcing their false belief in their imperfection and unlovableness. Clearly, when you only love what is perfect, it’s ...more
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Ones may have a difficult time considering the validity of someone else’s view of things if they perceive others as being unfair, biased, or morally lax. When taking what they see as a higher moral position in a conflict, it can be hard for them to let go of the perception that the other person “knows” he or she is doing something wrong and is doing it anyway. It can be difficult for Ones to accept that there are no moral absolutes. In these respects, their Shadow aspect is the ability to see beyond the black and white of their own inner sense of “right” and “wrong,” or “better or worse.” Most ...more
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Accept “the perfection of imperfection.” This can also liberate Ones from much of their energetic striving and overcompensation. But accepting imperfection—with respect to themselves or society—can be very difficult for Ones because their character is shaped so fundamentally around the rejection of the “imperfect.” Ones can actively work to release themselves from the tyranny of internal standards by continually reminding themselves that imperfection is okay, imperfection is inevitable and natural and most of the time, and “good enough” is good enough.
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The Inner Flow growth path for Type Ones brings them into direct contact with the challenges embodied in Type Four: allowing for greater range and depth of feeling, more melancholy and longing, and greater creativity and self-expression (instead of just following the rules). Not surprisingly, Ones often report that they find being in contact with Four traits painful and uncomfortable. But exploring depth and expression of feeling with purpose and consciousness can give the One a sense of relief at finally releasing what they have spent considerable energy holding back.
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The One working consciously in this way can make ready use of the tools healthy Type Fours use: artistic expression and emotional authenticity. The aesthetic sensibility characteristic of Type Four shows how art can be a liberating form of personal expression across the emotional spectrum. Also, as art is inherently creative and flexible, the artist’s expression is ideally free of absolutes or preconditions. To get started, it is helpful for the One to select a medium that “feels right” and to give himself or herself time, space, and permission to express without evaluating. Over time, ...more
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But Ones risk getting stuck in the back-and-forth between the seriousness and discipline of the One personality and the light rebellion and playfulness of the move to Seven. When pursued with little or no conscious self-awareness, the One is likely not reclaiming repressed spontaneity so much as temporarily escaping into bad behavior or stimulating activities. Self-recrimination and regret predictably follow.
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Learning the lesson of Type Seven—that making free time for play and fun is an essential element of life—can give a Type One a deeply rewarding foothold in the simple pleasures he or she was forced to leave behind in childhood.
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Serenity is a way of being that is free of attachment to specific ways of doing things—to having to conform to the right way. Serenity is the patient, relaxed feeling that goes along with feeling a sense of completeness and wholeness, a feeling that everything is as it should be and that nothing needs to be changed or perfected. When Ones can start to transcend the energy and emotion of anger in all its forms, they can relax and go with the flow. They can harmonize with the natural rhythms of life without having to impose any evaluative judgments about what should be happening or how life ...more
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