Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others

by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky

Many of us might believe, secretly or not so secretly, that our commitment to our work may be measured by our willingness to martyr ourselves.

“When my boss leaves, I’ll feel better.” “When we get more funding, things will be smoother.”“If I can wrap up my research project, I’ll be happier.”

The health care industry is intended to limit suffering but instead often winds up magnifying trauma exposure for patients, their workers, and the organizations that interact with them.

It was whether light and hope and feelings of possibility were emanating from the institution or whether the organizational culture felt negative, exclusive, and hopeless.

Perhaps when workers start out, they have the energy required to navigate the gray areas of their work, to question their assumptions, to stay open-minded about what is possible, and to truly believe that it matters if they do right in the work and in the world. Over time, the complexity of the issues may surface, the scarcity of resources may feel overwhelming, and one may feel more and more isolated.

make objectifying comments like, “You’re such an a-n-g-e-l! I could never do that job!” the toll of our work is that much higher.

When we refer to trauma exposure response, we are talking about the ways in which the world looks and feels like a different place to you as a result of your doing your work.

It can set in motion a cycle of damage that, if not for our awareness, can overtake our whole lives.

A trauma exposure response has occurred when external trauma becomes internal reality.

if I nurture others enough, if I care enough, if I anticipate others’ needs enough, then everything will be okay.

Many of our fields and places of work seem to function, instead, from a place of tremendous urgency.

Every day that passes, we think to ourselves that we haven’t done enough because we’re not being enough. We’re often left with limitless dissatisfaction in our work and lives.

Hypervigilance in our work creates a dynamic of being wholly focused on our job, to the extent that being present for anything else in our life can seem impossible. It is often an attempt to restore safety and prevent any further victimization by anticipating and recognizing everything as a potential threat and acting accordingly.

We may consider less extreme experiences of trauma as less “real” and therefore less deserving of our time and support.

One underrecognized factor that may contribute to our level of fatigue is the belief that we have no choice about the work we do.

Without a robust sense of being fundamentally in charge of oneself, a mindset of persecution can take root and we can lose faith in our own power to take the initiative.

be completely present for all things wonderful; if we are going to be present for life’s suffering,

When you see the suffering, when you experience it yourself, it’s very hard to not want revenge.

I encourage you to ask yourself if what you are doing in your life is working for you on all levels of your being. Does it edify you? Do you use it to escape your life? Does it bring you joy? Does it support your ego? Is it a place where you can do something about the pain in the world? Does it distract you?

Many of us who work in helping professions are used to operating at a sprint, so coming into the present moment may feel like a powerful contradiction.