Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

by Mark Manson

It can mean putting yourself

in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke tha...

asserting an opinion that may of...

All of these things require you to stick your neck out on the line emotionally in some way.

vulnerability represents a form of power, a deep and subtle form of power. It’s courageous,

Says what he thinks and is comfortable if some people disagree with him.

When he makes a mistake, he shrugs it off and apologizes if necessary.

When he sucks at something...

All of these are symptoms of a root problem:

inability to be vulnerable.

Show your rough edges. Stop trying to be perfect.

But I’ll say this: if you consistently find it difficult to keep a woman interested in conversation; if you suffer from

large amounts of anxiety around women; if you constantly feel a need to prove something to others or yourself, then there’s something there. Trust me, there’s something there. And there’s something you’re not expressing or some emotion you’re not

touch with. And that’s fine. We all g...

But what I learned is that regardless of what you say to a woman, the intention and implications of why you are saying it are far more powerful than the words themselves.

I simply did not get it at the time. It

didn’t matter what I said or didn’t say; if I said it in a way that demonstrated I cared way too much about how they responded to me, it would never work.

You can’t fake vulnerability and you can’t fake honesty.

You cannot fake non-neediness for more than a moment.

The only women you will manage to fake are women who are drunk or who are extremely needy themselves.

Vulnerability requires honesty, and honesty only works if it’s given unconditionally, with no strings attached.

Sooner or later, they will. Then your true identity will shine through, your lack of vulnerability will shine through, your desperation for affection will shine through, and you will be a sad, pathetic and unattractive man.

Let’s take a classic example of pretending not to be interested in a woman to get her interested in you.

subtle cues in your behavior and body language will slowly but surely tip you off.

But what about men who gush about how beautiful a woman is to flatter her?

Those guys are being honest about their intentions and their feelings, but they’re not getting anywhere, are they?

Here’s the problem: human nature is such that we don’t trust people who like us if we don’t feel as though we earned it somehow.

Imagine if some stranger came up to you, started complimenting you incessantly, buying you things, how would you react?

You’d probably think to yourself, “OK, what’s this guy selling?” Or maybe, if he was particularly pushy and weird, “Jesus, is this guy an ax murderer?” That’s because they’re showing how invested they

are in your approval without them actually knowing

you, without them taking the time to connect with you and understand you. And as a result, you don’t trust them....

I don’t know you, but I’m already going to do anything to win your approval, that’s how desperate I am.”

These are not gifts or compliments at all. These are deals he’s brokering. The terms may be implied or unspoken, but they’re transactions all the same. Everything he gives to her, he is giving with the expectation to receive something in return.

Again, being a “nice guy” is never much different than being a narcissist. One only gives. The other only takes. But both are the same in their desperation for approval.

True honesty is only possible when it is unconditional.

A woman’s desire is to be desired. But it has to be genuine desire.

We all do these things to certain degrees. It’s impossible to be perfectly non-needy all the time.

But neediness is relative. That’s why I say it’s about being less invested in others’ perceptions instead of NOT invested in others’ perceptions.

But delivering honesty unconditionally isn’t just about compliments and appreciation. Unconditional honesty can be brutal and scathing at times as

If a beautiful woman says something that a needy man finds offensive, he’ll ignore it, change the topic, or withhold his true feelings. Hell, he might even pretend to go along with her for fear of making her upset.

Narcissism means you only respect yourself.

The problem with forming strong boundaries is that in order to form them, you have to be particularly aware of your own desires and emotions. And many men who have been needy their entire lives are not very self-aware. They don’t know what they’re willing to stand up for and what they’re willing to let slide. They don’t know their own emotional motivations and desires. Men will often have to spend a lot of time seeking truth within themselves first before they’re able to express it to others.

It’s important to look at the reasons why you’re over-invested around women and have an honest discussion with yourself about it to try and resolve it.

Another example is a guy who has never been “cool” before. Perhaps he was picked on growing up and made fun of all through high school. Maybe the popular guys in school told him he was gay and a pussy.

Seeking the truth within yourself is a long-term progress. An

Ultimately, your values

The percentage of women who are Receptive to you will increase proportionally to the quality of your lifestyle, your social status, and your

looks. The percentage of women that you’re able to move from Neutral to Receptive will be proportional to how good your “game” is, or how well you’re able to communicate and express yourself with women. And your ability to sort through each type of women and meet as many as possible will be determined by how fearless and bold you are when it comes to meeting women.

Men often want to have it both ways — they want to be able to avoid painful rejections, avoid saying something stupid, avoid embarrassing themselves, while at the same time being this attractive, amazing guy who women fall to their knees for. You can’t have it both ways.

If you choose to believe “success” with women is determined by which woman chooses you or how much money you can provide — well, then there’s a good chance you’re going to be quite lonely followed by ending up with the nearest woman capable of tolerating you for a lifetime.